The War became permanent Friday after senior Obama administration officials said they have “no intention” of “ever stopping” the hugely successful ‘War on Terror.’
Assistant Defense Secretary Michael Sheehan said they are “pre-emptively” calling any future administration that tries to stop the Authorization for Use of Military Force (AUMF) “treasonous” for aiding whoever the enemy is by then.
“We don’t know who in the shit we want to shoot at next, but by God I hope to hell it’s some Jihadi-ass sand people,” said Sheehan, adding, “I don’t fuck with no Russians.”
Sheehan warned against any future acts of Congress or government that dare to try and stop the permanent war before it is over.
“We have gone forward with legislation that automatically detains any leader, indefinitely, who tries to end this horrifying, successful permanent war policy,” Sheehan said.
Sheehan was stupefyingly candid with reporters Friday, saying the war has already become so profitable for his friends, it would be “a death wish” to American freedom of flow of capital into his pockets to end it too soon.
“We are hesitant to put a timetable on the War on Terror. I don’t know if terrorism is EVER gonna go away—not while it’s profitable, anyway,” said Sheehan.
Sheehan said he no longer fears retaliation from a culture he describes as being “indoctrinated” into the police state from early childhood on up.
“Your faggot kids are worse than you CNN-watching couchtards,” said Sheehan. “I mean, they’re too afraid now to even skip class, and that’s where they’re taught to join the military and become heroes like in them vidyagames they’re always playing.”
Sheehan said America’s going to have to learn to tighten its belt while all this war mongerin’ gets under way in meaningless countries like the Congo and Syria. Sheehan said he has hopes, however, that the economy can still support “a whole shitload” of profitable wars he has planned.
“We still have the whole education budget—and NASA! For fuck’s sake, do you realize how much money we are wasting on Medicare right now?” Sheehan said, looking up at the ceiling. “Good gosh-a-mighty, we could even cut back on infrastructure, and just let the whole fuckin’ place rot.”