The Only True Conspiracy Theory

America now sees what the businessmen who financed the Tea Party intended: Dressed in powdered wigs and wearing red makeup that is actually gore, the Tea Party is shoveling babies into the ocean with pitchforks. Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton is gagging Lady Liberty with her gigantic strap-on while trying to save face by praising Al-Jazeera and Internet Freedom. Not only that, but the orchestra masters behind all this have invented some wacky ideas about 9/11 just to throw you off their trail. Why else would 9/11 theories be aired constantly on the “History” channel?

The Fascist plot for dominating America is now quite clear. The super rich have found the most extreme elements of the Republican Party and have created an Ultra-Nationalist cult promising Utopia. Their colluding counterparts on the Left have made a move to destroy the freedom of the press. They are in the midst of creating an information crisis that will be used to destroy all that is good about the internet. An overarching conspiracy by mega-rich Oligarchs who pull the strings is not just apparent, but glaringly and painfully obvious.

The Tea Party cult worships our founding fathers, mythical men who heroically wasted tea while badly costumed as Indians. They’ve been convinced by conniving liars that one day if they all work hard enough, America will still be the richest nation in the world and all the Mexicans will be gone. Well, to be fair, even the original Tea Party was a bunch of racists.

The Tea Party, these cult members, have been bused all over America to protest everything Barack Hussein Obama has done to hurt big business. The television airs the people waving signs, screaming out the trigger phrases, sending weak minds into conniptions of fear and hate followed by selfish pride and contempt. Off camera, among themselves, they foam at the mouth with racial epithets and theories about where Hussein was really born and the missing time when he secretly took his pilgrimage to Mecca.

Using this protest-propaganda hybrid, the ultra rich have planted puppets in many State Governments and are now doing loss management to help keep corporate profits increasing. The puppet Governors have created a false budget crisis. They repeat the bald lie that increasing taxes on corporations and the mega rich could only exacerbate economic problems. Such a lie is so base and ultimately pernicious that Tea Party government is in breach of its social contract. According to our founding fathers, this requires revolutionary action.

Wisconsin has denied collective bargaining rights to teachers and the Governor of Michigan has granted himself Hitler-like emergency powers to do whatever the fuck he wants. Hitler will fire elected officials and disband unions. Similar things are happening everywhere that the Tea Party has taken hold. Even the NFL is in the grips of this anti-union conspiracy.

But do not forget that this is not a conspiracy by a single party. Both the Republican and Democratic sides are being used by the mega rich Oligarchs to destroy American Liberty. Hillary Clinton uses her forked tongue to criminalize investigative journalism while praising the benefits of Internet Freedom. WikiLeaks and the script kiddies of Anonymous have been demonized by traditional left leaning media. These investigative journalists and activists of cyberspace have become too powerful too soon. The Hegemony is working on manufacturing a large enough crisis so that they can crack down and do as much damage to free speech as possible.

Obama should be the most ashamed man on the face of the Earth. Right now he is sitting in his testicle shaped office gently stroking his hard-won Nobel Peace Prize and trying to forget about all the death he owns in Afghanistan. He reminisces on when he authorized the torture of Bradley Manning in Quantico but doesn’t recall any promise to shut down Gitmo. The golden relief of Alfred Nobel stares back indifferently. By now, the world knows who made sure Obama won the prize. It’s a “nuke the world with impunity” badge. Obama is licensed to genocide.

The safeguards provided by the Constitution for the right to protest and the right to free press have been trampled upon by both the Right and the Left. They will crack down in Wisconsin and the protests will only grow exponentially. America will respond to its people like Libya did. The United States government has failed to preempt the effect of the internet and are now forced into a reactionary stance that is bound to fail.The Tea Party will be buried under the throngs of true protesters demanding liberty instead of politics. They will elect no more tyrants. Information will outlive Bradley Manning and Julian Assange.

America will renew its social contract with government by force if necessary!

No comments yet to The Only True Conspiracy Theory

  • I wanna write a blog post about conspiracy theories that turned out to be true.

  • Some people claim that the U.S’s involvement in Libya is a conspiracy. The primary reason they think it is so is because the first U.S. air strike in Iraq happened exactly 8 years before the U.S. proceeded with military force in Libya. They claim that the media is misleading the people to think Gadafi is only killing people trying to kill him and that the uprise in the middle east was instigated by Americans. Could this be true?

  • Anonymous is a government agent, they work covertly with Google, and the Mexicans. You may not realize it now, but when you do, Oh, when you do, you’ll wish you listened when I told you that GOOGLE, is a front for the CIA. What’s the problem with all of this? Obama has no birth certificate, and what’s important is that GOOGLE, is helping the MEXICANS!

  • simon do say

    dear Mr. Trout
    I have post your great article to singapore for all human being in singapore to known that we are in deep danger if this rich racist are still control us.

    whatever happen in your country will happen to the whole world for this rich racist are begin to be our world master and we are their salve.

    thankyou for this great article for us to known.

  • Great post Mr. Trout, and spot on in my view.

    And also a Vonnegut fan.

  • Charles Brown

    You guys or Anonymous need to take an intent look at ALEC… Seems like that group is behind much of the bullshit going on all over the country. They should be brought to earth. They are major contributors to the loss of freedom spoken about on this thread. They lobby under the guise of a 501c3 organization. In reality, they are doing much more damage than the Koch Brothers. They need to feel the pain of the true internet freedom fighters.

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