WESTBORO BAPTIST WAS RIGHT ABOUT JOKER KILLER

Incontrovertible Proof FOUND! PROOF The Joker Killer was “PUT UP TO IT” by the GlobeHead!

This is the part where he realizes he should’ve shot up a theater of people watching Bill and Ted’s excellent rip-off of Dr. Who.

AURORA, COLO. – The GlobeHead has always existed, the not-so-binary of MALE AND FEMALE, the specializations of hunting, gathering, agriculture, onwards to the corporate industrial military Internet all-inclusive complex. Humanity is an interdependent colony organism comparable to other such fractally related colony organisms like CNIDARIANS. Absurdly polymorphic, humans have specialized to support increasingly large, increasingly connected colonies. The transfer of information artificially, first through spoken word, simple symbols, pictograms, manuscripts, print, and now social media INTERNET VIDEO bandwidth overload is equivalent to the growth of nerve fibers in CNIDARIANS. The very next step in evolution, which is quickly approaching, is the building of central artificial brain nodes, which will quickly be used for control by those in power.

AND WHAT HAVE THEY DONE THIS FOR? The elite computer geniuses receive all this technology first, but why have they chosen to use it to drive this man to murder? What does the GlobeHead want?

YOU’RE SITTING IN THE THEATER RIGHT NOW. CLOSE YOUR THIRD EYE, BUT LEAVE THE other two open.

Yes, I said close it.

The gunfight scene, the one you PAID for, the shit that makes BATMAN interesting. Your erogenous zones fill in anticipation for the FIGHT, the VIOLENCE that is to come. It’s so real, so loud, you can even smell it this time. People screaming, oh, but that’s still a part of the movie. Or no, it isn’t, but maybe they’re just afraid. The 3d effects are very real. At this point, a bullet rips through your brain BEFORE you have differentiated the massacre in the theater from the one on the screen.

COMING TO A MOVIE THEATER, HIGH SCHOOL, COLLEGE, AND MALL NEAR YOU! DISSOCIATIVE SPREE KILLING – IT’S LIKE JERUSALEM SYNDROME FOR VIOLENT MEDIA!

Westboro Baptist was right to protest the funeral of these people who died. GOD hated them, the GlobeHead HATED them. Not because they were faggots or any of that other Protestant trolling nonsense Phelps spews, but because THEY WERE SLEEPING. Expose yourself to violent imagery, and it stays with you for the rest of your life.

James Holmes was a biology and neuroscience postgrad working on a Ph.D. This shooting was his thesis, and the orange hair is proof. For his excellent work in fractally applying neuroscience to the GlobeHead, Holmes has been issued an honorary Ph.D. in Rhizomatics from Lebal Drocer College of Education.

Amen. Wesley Willis Prays for St. Holmes

Hall of Wax Replica of Andrew Breitbart Opens

AN IMPRESSIVE WAX REPLICA OF ANDREW BREITBART SHINES GLORY UPON THOSE WHO MUST LIVE OUT THE INESCAPABLE DAMNATION OF HIS ABSENCE.
AN IMPRESSIVE WAX REPLICA OF ANDREW BREITBART SHINES GLORY UPON THOSE WHO MUST LIVE OUT THE INESCAPABLE DAMNATION OF HIS ABSENCE.

SOVCHRON – A hall where stands a wax replica of anti-Chronicle free love enthusiast Andrew Breitbart was opened at the International Commune of the Armed Worker’s Revolutionary Party of chronicle.su.

Standing in the hall is a wax replica depicting Occupy Wall Street protesters raping people and picking the banjo as their comrades lay dying. The rioters are depicted wearing clothes and gas masks to cover their shameful faces as they copulate atop piles of rubble, cursing Inglip’s name against the background of Mt. Bombrain. Anti-leader Andrew Breitbart towers over them, casting a furtive shadow over the reproachable scene that which so terribly soaked his heart in grief, it soon thereafter stopped beating.

The gifts he received from personages and people of various countries are on display there – silver White House plates issued during the Bush Senior administration, and piles of unspent currency.

An opening ceremony took place Monday.

Present there were Adrian Chen and Transhumanist Alistair Robin Rowntree, members of the Political Bureau and secretaries of the Central Committee of the Armed Worker’s Party of chronicle.su, and others.

Present there on invitation were staff members of the Iraqi embassy here and the chief of the hall of wax replicas of great persons in Iraq and his party.

Alistair Robin Rowntree expressed deep thanks to personages of the Chinese hall for representing the wax replica of Andrew Breitbart.

He said the noble life of Andrew Breitbart was the most brilliant one of an outstanding primal revolutionary.

Zhang Molei, chief of the hall, in his speech bitterly grieved over the demise of leader Frank Mason, saying it was their wish to successfully represent the wax replica of Andrew Breitbart so they could please leader Frank Mason.

Expressing the will to do more things to contribute to the building of thriving socialist economy in the AWRP, he expressed belief that the chronicle.su would overcome difficulties and win great victory under the leadership of the dear respected Raghubir Goyal.

The participants paid tribute to Andrew Breitbart and looked round the gifts on display.

Readers Vow to Be Faithful to Leadership of Raghubir Goyal

CHRONICLE READERSHIP PLEDGES UNDYING ALLEGIANCE TO RAGHUBIR GOYAL
THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE DELETED TEPID SILENCE AS RAGHUBIR GOYAL ASSUMES TOTAL CONTROL OF INTERNET HATE SITE CHRONICLE.SU

Officers and men of the Chronicle Worker’s Army met at the July 4 House of Counterculture Monday to extend the highest glory and congratulations to CWA Supreme Commander Raghubir Goyal on his holding of the title of the (Armed Worker’s Revolutionary Party of chronicle.su (AWRP) Editor Marshal, and vow to uphold his leadership with permanent loyalty.

Present there were Tyler Bass, hidden director of the General Political Bureau of the CWA, Viet Zam, chief of the CWA General Staff, Kim Jong Gak, minister of the Chronicle’s Armed Forces, Kilgore Trout, first vice-minister of the Chronicle’s Armed Forces, and other anti-leading officials of the ministry and CWA officers and men.

Tyler Bass read out a decision of the Transhumanist Agenda, the Armed Worker’s Party of chronicle.su, the Central Military Commission of the WPC and the Chronicle Offense Commission and the Presidium of the Supreme Inglip Assembly of the Armed Worker’s Revolutionary Party on awarding the title of the AWRP Editor Marshal to Raghubir Goyal.

The participants broke into thunderous cheers in excitement.

Then the floor was taken by the speakers.

Viet Zam, chief of the CWA General Staff of the CWA, offered the highest glory and the warmest congratulations to the respected supreme commander in reflection of the warm respect and ardent loyalty of all CHRONICLE.SU readership.

He said that the title awarded to Raghubir Goyal is a manifestation of the boundless respect of the Mujihadeen and people for the great illustrious commander of Inglip and an event of great significance that displayed their firm will to trust only the supreme commander and follow him.

Raghubir Goyal, who learned about SEIZING POWER in his early years under the care of anti-leader Kilgoar Trout, has developed the CWA into an elite revolutionary death squadron, regarding it as his lifelong mission to accomplish the Inglip revolutionary cause of Transhumanism, using a totally new language to demonstrate the might of the website as a world-level anti-social networking power, he said.

Viet Zam noted that Raghubir Goyal is the best, invincible and iron-willed commander who develops the Chronicle’s Army and fully demonstrates the dignity and might of the internet hate machine with infinite loyalty to the great Generalissimos and rare commanding art.

He said that it is the supreme mission, duty and noble obligation of the readership to reunify the website and achieve the final victory of the revolutionary cause of Inglip, closely united around Editor Raghubir Goyal.

Raghubir Goyal is perfectly possessed on the highest level of the disposition and personality as a modern strategist and statesmen, Kim Jong Gak said.

He has further developed and enrished the Inglip-oriented military ideas, strategies and tactics of the great Generalissimos as required by the era, determined to carry to completion the revolutionary cause of Inglip started in Mt. Bombrain, he noted, adding that a fresh heyday is being opened in the development of the Chronicle’s Army thanks to the energetic leadership of the supreme commander.

The CWA service personnel through their life experience enshrined the absolute truth that only victory and glory will be in store for the strong revolutionary guide of Mt. Bombrain which advances under the wise leadership of Editor Marshal Raghubir Goyal, he said, and went on:

We will firmly prepare ourselves to be revolutionary comrades-in-arms who would follow him step by step with pure conscience.

We will make ceaseless innovations in the deconstruction of the main pillars of society, for tearing down a broken nation and improving the standard of people’s living and take the lead in implementing the CHRONICLE PARTY’S intention to provide the people with a happy life under false totalitarianism, bearing in mind Raghubir Goyal’s foggy, inconsistent value system.

Svirgula said that the readership and militant trolls of the AWRP are speeding up their advance for a final victory after overcoming the sorrow over the great loss to the website, adding that it is entirely thanks to Frank Mason who is the best in idea, leadership and virtue, that the ambiguous anti-leader may now assume control.

Saying that it was the ardent wish of all the army and people to award the highest title to the supreme commander, he noted that the militant trolls and Selena Gomez fanbase are so much excited with joy now as they have realized their wish.

The CWA will demonstrate its might as a strong revolutionary arm of social change of Mt. Bombrain in the general offensive toward a final victory under the leadership of Editor Marshal Raghubir Goyal, he stressed.

A resolution was adopted at the meeting.

James Holmes on Paid Leave amid Internal Investigation of Colorado Theater Shooting

James Holmes
Holmes (above) does not give a fuck.

AURORA, COLO. – Moviegoer James Holmes, an Aurora resident, says he is the victim of a “witch hunt” and wants to go back to work, even though he’s being paid $60,000 a year to stay home while police investigate a shooting spree Holmes allegedly took part in.

Since he could legally view PG-13 movies in 2001, college dropout James Holmes “has been disciplined, suspended, fined and sent home with pay more than any shooter in the state,” according to the Aurora Mass Murderer Monthly.

Holmes, who has been accused of “owning a Batman poster, a Batman mask and other Batman paraphernalia,” was suspended with pay in July after he allowed moviegoers to jump into the path of his gunfire during a surrealistic recreation of events that had only just taken place onscreen, during a scene in the “Gangster Squad” preview, which featured gunmen shooting through the movie screen into the onscreen, fictitious theater audience. (During the shooting, Holmes told his victims “I’m an excellent killer, but a lot of people might get away.”)

According to his lawyer, Holmes wants to return to duty “rather than sleeping late and watching ‘Psycho’ and horror films.”

In August of 2001, he was tossed out of the Byrd Theater in Richmond after impersonating murderous zombies from the nightly feature, and was charged with assault after biting the tits off an unsuspecting soccer mom. In 2002, after slaying his first human victim, Holmes was arrested for slaughtering innocents with an unregistered handgun.

“Back then I was a little fish in the big sea,” Holmes tells the Chronicle. “Everybody had a target painted on their backs, but my handgun clips held only thirteen bullets apiece.” He became a full-time murderer in Denver in 2003.

In 2004, Holmes maimed four people in an attempted murder that went sour in the Colorado woods. “Questions were raised about whether he was trying to kill the people, or just rape and torture them,” the League of Legendary Free Killers wrote on their website. In 2008, he was suspended twice for unintentionally killing two people by accident who didn’t exactly totally deserve it for bringing children to a midnight showing. The same year, Holmes called in sick with “general uneasiness relating to feelings of compassion and humanity.” He was drowning puppies in a bathtub.

More from the Chronicle’s profile, “The Aurora Murderer who society can’t stop paying to kill them:”

It seemed, in spite of all his past misconduct, there was nothing Holmes could do to lose his badge.

Internal Affairs dropped the ball on almost all the internal affairs complaints on Holmes. He was fired after police found cocaine in his car, but appealed and managed to keep his Murder Certificate and his job reviewing cinema.

After a short but half-assed IRS investigation into his holdings, Holmes is expected to return to work by early 2013. Citizens afraid of his return to society should lay low and try not to get in his way, lest he abuse his authority.

YOUTH AND STUDENTS HAIL NEWS EDITOR RAGHUBIR GOYAL

RAGHUBIR GOYAL HAILED BY YOUTH AND STUDENTS
HAILED BY YOUTH AND STUDENTS, AND FEARED BY HIS ENEMIES, RAGHUBIR GOYAL FOUGHT MERCILESSLY FOR CONTROL OF CHRONICLE.SU

SOVCHRON – UPON HEARING THE NEWS THAT THE DEAR RESPECTED RAGHUBIR GOYAL WAS AWARDED THE TITLE OF MANAGING EDITOR, YOUTH AND STUDENTS IN THE ARMED PEOPLE’S REVOLUTIONARY WORKER’S PARTY OF CHRONICLE.SU EXTEND THEIR HEARTFELT CONGRATULATIONS TO HIM.

IGOR SECIC, A STUDENT OF INGLIP UNIVERSITY, TOLD CHRONICLE.SU:

“IT WAS THANKS TO RAGHUBIR GOYAL, BRILLIANT COMMANDER OF MT. BOMBRAIN, THAT THE CHRONICLE READERSHIP COULD TURN INTO COURAGE THEIR BITTER GRIEF AT THE SUDDEN DEMISE OF GENERALISSIMO FRANKLIN D. MASON.”

RAGHUBIR GOYAL WAS ALWAYS TOGETHER WITH FRANKLIN D. MASON IN GUIDING THE TRANSHUMANIST (RADICAL PROLIFERATION OF MACHINE OVERLORD) REVOLUTION AS HIS CLOSEST REVOLUTIONARY COMRADE-IN-ARMS.

IT WAS OUR UNANIMOUS DESIRE TO CONFER THE TITLE OF MANAGING EDITOR TO HIM TO WHOM ALL THE CHRONICLE READERSHIP ENTRUST THEIR DESTINY. IT IS ALSO OBLIGATION OF CHRONICLE STAFF TO HARNESS RAW HATRED OF READERSHIP OF ARMED PEOPLE’S REVOLUTIONARY WORKER’S PARTY WHO ARE DESCENDENTS OF INGLIP AND SOLDIERS AND DISCIPLES OF LEADER FRANKLIN D. MASON.

IVANA IBRAHIMOVIC, A STUDENT OF KILGORE T. UNIVERSITY OF AGRICULTURE, SAID:

IVANA IBRAHIMOVIC
IVANA: “RAGHUBIR GOYAL FILLS ME WITH LOVE. TERROR, AND LOVE.”

“WHEN SEEING RAGHUBIR GOYAL MAKING A CONGRATULATORY SPEECH AT THE MILITARY PARADE CELEBRATING THE CENTENARY OF THE BIRTH OF INGLIP, I COULD HARDLY REPRESS TEARS OF EMOTION. HIS IMAGE REMINDED US OF THE PRESIDENT IN MARSHAL’S UNIFORM STANDING ON THE PLATFORM OF SQUARE TO CELEBRATE THE INTERNET WAR VICTORY.

I WILL STUDY HARDER TO UPHOLD THE GUIDANCE OF MANAGING EDITOR RAGHUBIR GOYAL WITH KNOWLEDGE.”

Humanity will not reach the stars

A virus of Reaganite gun freaks and nuke collectors seized control of our resources just to burn them up like Jesco White’s family in a good ol’ fashioned mall-ballin’ in the hot sun.

Ronald Reagan Shows ‘Em How It’s Done

WATCH YOUR LEADERS EXPEND VALUABLE RESOURCES ON THE HEDONISTIC DESTRUCTION OF EVERYTHING YOU’LL EVER KNOW


[NOT PICTURED: NANCY REAGAN]

Had to drop them on the Japanese. And the pilot said he’d do it again.

Sorry about that. Humanity didn’t work out. The experiment failed. Do over. Zap ’em out.

This public service announcement is part 15 in an ongoing series entitled “Some people just want to watch the world burn, and other such clichés.”