axisflip.com

Categories
Entertainment

AMERICA CAN’T LOOK AWAY! Trainwreck Sensation Little Honey Boo Boo Empowers Market With Fearless March Toward Diabetes

Move over, “Toddlers & Tiaras!” Because there’s a new girl in town. . .

Fresh from the impaired minds of The Learning Channel executives who brought you “What Not to Wear,” “Randy to the Rescue,” and “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant,” comes little Honey Boo Boo.

Tune in this fall as fat Michelin-man shaped rednecks flop into a mud hole repeating Larry the Cable Guy memes, until you think you just can’t take it anymore. Then, wait for Honey Boo Boo to win back your heart with cute emotional avoidances, like, “You better redneckocgnize!”

“Redneckognize” is a play on words which combines all the ignorance brought to mind by the euphemistic racial slur “redneck,” with the word “recognize,” or to consider again; literally, to identify something or someone previously seen, such as the degradation of educational cable TV stations.

And if you learn anything from this corporate-induced delusional exploit, you’ll learn Little Honey Boo Boo is hardly the meanest one, or the baddest of the bunch. Indeed, much of her family is being paid and encouraged to reinforce every stereotype television helped create. WATCH IT EVERY NIGHT FOR ALL I CARE!

Watch for producers to inject new cutesy catch phrases, such as “Where’s mah insulin?”

axisflip.com

Categories
News

NPR EXECUTIVE IMPLIES CRITICISM OF FATAH VERBOTEN

BALTIMOAR – Sunni Khalid, long-time managing editor at WYPR-FM, posted Facebook comments deemed controversial about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. NPR’s reaction to the comments would indicate the author’s remarks were at odds with core values of the radio station.

Mr. Khalid posted this on a friend’s Facebook page:

“I, for one, have had enough of this pandering before the Israeli regime . . . The war-mongering toward Iran has, once again, distracted the world from Israel’s brutal military occupation of the West Bank, East Jerusalem and the Golan Heights.”

Sunni Khalid no longer works with NPR after posting Facebook comment
Sunni Khalid, journalist and Facebook user

Tony Brandon, president of the station, seemed very interested in understanding the outlet with whom he was speaking. Due to Mr. Brandon’s apparent decision to terminate an employee for his political expression, we thought it best to go undercover, and had a reporter pose as an ordinary, concerned citizen. While transparency is ideal, Chronicle editors agreed that Mr. Brandon’s ability to formulate personnel policy might have been jeopardized by specific, powerful political interests, rather than vague ideas outlined on a generic policy page.

What began as a call of a concerned citizen eventually yielded Mr. Brandon’s claimed deference to NPR guidelines, which have seen the termination of Washington-based employees for attending Daily Show host Jon Stewart’s 2010 Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear.

Mr. Brandon declined to answer a direct question as to whether criticism of West Bank-dominant Palestinian political party, Fatah, would engender a termination of Mr. Khalid, whose gender a Chronicle reporter was unaware, due to his completely politically correct, gender-blind sensibilities; in addition to utter ignorance of different cultures.

Listen, in real time, as Tony Brandon, President and General Manager of NPR Baltimore dodges a question of ethics:
[audio:https://chronicle.su/wp-content/uploads/LS1101261.mp3|titles=Sunni Khalid inquiry to Tony Brandon of NPR by Tyler Bass]

“Damn kids and their questions without answers! When will they learn to consult our policy first!?”

axisflip.com

Categories
News

OFFICIAL ANONYMOUS COMMUNICATION FROM SABU

Comrades,

I have received the first communication from Sabu since the twisted story about him being a snitch was published by Fox News. As it turns out, Sabu purposefully got himself V&, in hopes that this day would come, fully knowing the way that the Government would try to smear him. But we are Anonymous and we will always find the truth. Tonight, Sabu delivered me the truth.

The FBI was dealt a mortal blow as Sabu used his FBI connections to hack Stratfor and save the world. Sabu knew that the FBI would team up with Fox News to tell us all the lie that he was a rat, but he thought ahead. All those angry rants against snitches? You got it, that was a code. It meant, “I was working as a triple agent every step of the way!” How fucking Genius of Sabu, to purposefully get himself v&! ALL the documents from the FBI are falsified and the testimonials of him getting arrested and claiming to be an FBI agent is yet another fabrication in this extremely convoluted but all-to-plausible scenario. The coup de grace is Stratfor, which could have never been attained had Sabu not infiltrated the FBI as he did. When Sabu’s court day comes you can be sure it will be under Terrorism NDAA guidelines and no one will even see Sabu make the OUTRAGEOUS claim that he actually infiltrated the FBI and then the government, as usual, will enforce a TOTAL MEDIA BLACKOUT on this story so no one knows how great Sabu really was.

Sabu Saved the World by Outing Stratfor.

NEVER BELIEVE THE FBI

NEVER BELIEVE FOX NEWS

ALWAYS BELIEVE IN ANONYMOUS

WE ARE SAVING THE WORLD

WE DO NOT FORGIVE

WE KINDA FORGOT ABOUT JESSIE SLAUGHTER

IS THIS ALL SOME SICK JOKE???

ANOTHER MEME TURNED UNFUNNY???

OH GOD, OH GOD!!!!!!

THIS POLITICAL MOVEMENT IS JUST… ITS ONLY…. LIKE MILHOUSE ON REDDIT MAKING JOKES ABOUT RICK SANTORUM

EXPECT US