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Uncontrollable Patriotism

Readers Vow to Be Faithful to Leadership of Raghubir Goyal

CHRONICLE READERSHIP PLEDGES UNDYING ALLEGIANCE TO RAGHUBIR GOYAL
THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE DELETED TEPID SILENCE AS RAGHUBIR GOYAL ASSUMES TOTAL CONTROL OF INTERNET HATE SITE CHRONICLE.SU

Officers and men of the Chronicle Worker’s Army met at the July 4 House of Counterculture Monday to extend the highest glory and congratulations to CWA Supreme Commander Raghubir Goyal on his holding of the title of the (Armed Worker’s Revolutionary Party of chronicle.su (AWRP) Editor Marshal, and vow to uphold his leadership with permanent loyalty.

Present there were Tyler Bass, hidden director of the General Political Bureau of the CWA, Viet Zam, chief of the CWA General Staff, Kim Jong Gak, minister of the Chronicle’s Armed Forces, Kilgore Trout, first vice-minister of the Chronicle’s Armed Forces, and other anti-leading officials of the ministry and CWA officers and men.

Tyler Bass read out a decision of the Transhumanist Agenda, the Armed Worker’s Party of chronicle.su, the Central Military Commission of the WPC and the Chronicle Offense Commission and the Presidium of the Supreme Inglip Assembly of the Armed Worker’s Revolutionary Party on awarding the title of the AWRP Editor Marshal to Raghubir Goyal.

The participants broke into thunderous cheers in excitement.

Then the floor was taken by the speakers.

Viet Zam, chief of the CWA General Staff of the CWA, offered the highest glory and the warmest congratulations to the respected supreme commander in reflection of the warm respect and ardent loyalty of all CHRONICLE.SU readership.

He said that the title awarded to Raghubir Goyal is a manifestation of the boundless respect of the Mujihadeen and people for the great illustrious commander of Inglip and an event of great significance that displayed their firm will to trust only the supreme commander and follow him.

Raghubir Goyal, who learned about SEIZING POWER in his early years under the care of anti-leader Kilgoar Trout, has developed the CWA into an elite revolutionary death squadron, regarding it as his lifelong mission to accomplish the Inglip revolutionary cause of Transhumanism, using a totally new language to demonstrate the might of the website as a world-level anti-social networking power, he said.

Viet Zam noted that Raghubir Goyal is the best, invincible and iron-willed commander who develops the Chronicle’s Army and fully demonstrates the dignity and might of the internet hate machine with infinite loyalty to the great Generalissimos and rare commanding art.

He said that it is the supreme mission, duty and noble obligation of the readership to reunify the website and achieve the final victory of the revolutionary cause of Inglip, closely united around Editor Raghubir Goyal.

Raghubir Goyal is perfectly possessed on the highest level of the disposition and personality as a modern strategist and statesmen, Kim Jong Gak said.

He has further developed and enrished the Inglip-oriented military ideas, strategies and tactics of the great Generalissimos as required by the era, determined to carry to completion the revolutionary cause of Inglip started in Mt. Bombrain, he noted, adding that a fresh heyday is being opened in the development of the Chronicle’s Army thanks to the energetic leadership of the supreme commander.

The CWA service personnel through their life experience enshrined the absolute truth that only victory and glory will be in store for the strong revolutionary guide of Mt. Bombrain which advances under the wise leadership of Editor Marshal Raghubir Goyal, he said, and went on:

We will firmly prepare ourselves to be revolutionary comrades-in-arms who would follow him step by step with pure conscience.

We will make ceaseless innovations in the deconstruction of the main pillars of society, for tearing down a broken nation and improving the standard of people’s living and take the lead in implementing the CHRONICLE PARTY’S intention to provide the people with a happy life under false totalitarianism, bearing in mind Raghubir Goyal’s foggy, inconsistent value system.

Svirgula said that the readership and militant trolls of the AWRP are speeding up their advance for a final victory after overcoming the sorrow over the great loss to the website, adding that it is entirely thanks to Frank Mason who is the best in idea, leadership and virtue, that the ambiguous anti-leader may now assume control.

Saying that it was the ardent wish of all the army and people to award the highest title to the supreme commander, he noted that the militant trolls and Selena Gomez fanbase are so much excited with joy now as they have realized their wish.

The CWA will demonstrate its might as a strong revolutionary arm of social change of Mt. Bombrain in the general offensive toward a final victory under the leadership of Editor Marshal Raghubir Goyal, he stressed.

A resolution was adopted at the meeting.

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News

James Holmes on Paid Leave amid Internal Investigation of Colorado Theater Shooting

James Holmes
Holmes (above) does not give a fuck.

AURORA, COLO. – Moviegoer James Holmes, an Aurora resident, says he is the victim of a “witch hunt” and wants to go back to work, even though he’s being paid $60,000 a year to stay home while police investigate a shooting spree Holmes allegedly took part in.

Since he could legally view PG-13 movies in 2001, college dropout James Holmes “has been disciplined, suspended, fined and sent home with pay more than any shooter in the state,” according to the Aurora Mass Murderer Monthly.

Holmes, who has been accused of “owning a Batman poster, a Batman mask and other Batman paraphernalia,” was suspended with pay in July after he allowed moviegoers to jump into the path of his gunfire during a surrealistic recreation of events that had only just taken place onscreen, during a scene in the “Gangster Squad” preview, which featured gunmen shooting through the movie screen into the onscreen, fictitious theater audience. (During the shooting, Holmes told his victims “I’m an excellent killer, but a lot of people might get away.”)

According to his lawyer, Holmes wants to return to duty “rather than sleeping late and watching ‘Psycho’ and horror films.”

In August of 2001, he was tossed out of the Byrd Theater in Richmond after impersonating murderous zombies from the nightly feature, and was charged with assault after biting the tits off an unsuspecting soccer mom. In 2002, after slaying his first human victim, Holmes was arrested for slaughtering innocents with an unregistered handgun.

“Back then I was a little fish in the big sea,” Holmes tells the Chronicle. “Everybody had a target painted on their backs, but my handgun clips held only thirteen bullets apiece.” He became a full-time murderer in Denver in 2003.

In 2004, Holmes maimed four people in an attempted murder that went sour in the Colorado woods. “Questions were raised about whether he was trying to kill the people, or just rape and torture them,” the League of Legendary Free Killers wrote on their website. In 2008, he was suspended twice for unintentionally killing two people by accident who didn’t exactly totally deserve it for bringing children to a midnight showing. The same year, Holmes called in sick with “general uneasiness relating to feelings of compassion and humanity.” He was drowning puppies in a bathtub.

More from the Chronicle’s profile, “The Aurora Murderer who society can’t stop paying to kill them:”

It seemed, in spite of all his past misconduct, there was nothing Holmes could do to lose his badge.

Internal Affairs dropped the ball on almost all the internal affairs complaints on Holmes. He was fired after police found cocaine in his car, but appealed and managed to keep his Murder Certificate and his job reviewing cinema.

After a short but half-assed IRS investigation into his holdings, Holmes is expected to return to work by early 2013. Citizens afraid of his return to society should lay low and try not to get in his way, lest he abuse his authority.

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News Politics Religion

YOUTH AND STUDENTS HAIL NEWS EDITOR RAGHUBIR GOYAL

RAGHUBIR GOYAL HAILED BY YOUTH AND STUDENTS
HAILED BY YOUTH AND STUDENTS, AND FEARED BY HIS ENEMIES, RAGHUBIR GOYAL FOUGHT MERCILESSLY FOR CONTROL OF CHRONICLE.SU

SOVCHRON – UPON HEARING THE NEWS THAT THE DEAR RESPECTED RAGHUBIR GOYAL WAS AWARDED THE TITLE OF MANAGING EDITOR, YOUTH AND STUDENTS IN THE ARMED PEOPLE’S REVOLUTIONARY WORKER’S PARTY OF CHRONICLE.SU EXTEND THEIR HEARTFELT CONGRATULATIONS TO HIM.

IGOR SECIC, A STUDENT OF INGLIP UNIVERSITY, TOLD CHRONICLE.SU:

“IT WAS THANKS TO RAGHUBIR GOYAL, BRILLIANT COMMANDER OF MT. BOMBRAIN, THAT THE CHRONICLE READERSHIP COULD TURN INTO COURAGE THEIR BITTER GRIEF AT THE SUDDEN DEMISE OF GENERALISSIMO FRANKLIN D. MASON.”

RAGHUBIR GOYAL WAS ALWAYS TOGETHER WITH FRANKLIN D. MASON IN GUIDING THE TRANSHUMANIST (RADICAL PROLIFERATION OF MACHINE OVERLORD) REVOLUTION AS HIS CLOSEST REVOLUTIONARY COMRADE-IN-ARMS.

IT WAS OUR UNANIMOUS DESIRE TO CONFER THE TITLE OF MANAGING EDITOR TO HIM TO WHOM ALL THE CHRONICLE READERSHIP ENTRUST THEIR DESTINY. IT IS ALSO OBLIGATION OF CHRONICLE STAFF TO HARNESS RAW HATRED OF READERSHIP OF ARMED PEOPLE’S REVOLUTIONARY WORKER’S PARTY WHO ARE DESCENDENTS OF INGLIP AND SOLDIERS AND DISCIPLES OF LEADER FRANKLIN D. MASON.

IVANA IBRAHIMOVIC, A STUDENT OF KILGORE T. UNIVERSITY OF AGRICULTURE, SAID:

IVANA IBRAHIMOVIC
IVANA: “RAGHUBIR GOYAL FILLS ME WITH LOVE. TERROR, AND LOVE.”

“WHEN SEEING RAGHUBIR GOYAL MAKING A CONGRATULATORY SPEECH AT THE MILITARY PARADE CELEBRATING THE CENTENARY OF THE BIRTH OF INGLIP, I COULD HARDLY REPRESS TEARS OF EMOTION. HIS IMAGE REMINDED US OF THE PRESIDENT IN MARSHAL’S UNIFORM STANDING ON THE PLATFORM OF SQUARE TO CELEBRATE THE INTERNET WAR VICTORY.

I WILL STUDY HARDER TO UPHOLD THE GUIDANCE OF MANAGING EDITOR RAGHUBIR GOYAL WITH KNOWLEDGE.”