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Kim Jong-Un cancels nuclear war, reveals he is K-pop star PSY

Kim Jong-Un's real war was waged on our minds.
Kim Jong-Un’s real war was waged on our minds.

PYONGYANG — Thursday evening, Dear Leader Kim Jong-Un revealed to pathetic American audiences his secret life as K-pop star PSY, of “Gangnam Style” fame. The “Gangnam Style” YouTube video was viewed more than any video in the history of time, fulfilling the Kim Dynasty’s global dominance and the cultural manifest destiny of Juche Ideology. Both Noam Chomsky and UN chief Ban Ki-moon were swept up in the Kim family’s ingenious culture-jamming plot, which required Jong-Un’s younger brother, Kim Mok-Jong, to stand-in for him at home in North Korea.

By whipping up a global hysteria with heroic nuclear tests and bombastic rhetoric, Glorious Leader Kim Jong-Un has drawn the greatest amount of attention simply to reveal this impeccable and magnificent prank. Cultural Anthropologist Dr. Ng Tong, who is credited with writing Gangnam Style, said, “The inferior Caucasian and African minds were not able to understand the overt anti-American messages of Gangnam Style, but it nonetheless became the most popular song. We can create hit songs like this at will, and over time we believe it will spell a final global victory for Kim Jong-Un.”

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