“Chumlee” of Pawn Stars fame dead

Fans mourn the loss of Chumlee Russell who died Monday evening of a marijuana overdose.

LAS VEGAS — In what may come to be a medical landmark, “Chumlee” Russell of Pawn Stars fame died from a marijuana overdose Monday night and was found by friend “Big Hoss” Harrison on Tuesday morning. Earlier this . . .

Associated Press “Joins Anonymous”

An enraged employee of the Associated Press tweeted support for Anonymous.

INTERNET — News broke Friday that the government had wiretapped and extensively spied on the Associated Press for reporting on terrorist activities. This was quickly followed by a now-deleted tweet in support of the shadowy collective of hackers known as Anonymous.

A . . .

Google to change its algorithm

The New Google will be able to predict search terms based on information from decades of “datamining.”

INTERNET — Google insiders have leaked that the fundamental Algorithm, which guides all of their services, is going to be completely replaced with a new, hyper-efficient version called New Google. No longer will users be burdened . . .

Jodi Arias dead from apparent suicide

Jodi Arias was found dead in her prison cell from self-inflicted asphyxiation.

PHOENIX — Jodi Arias was found dead on Friday in her prison cell as she awaited sentencing, amid reports of a strict suicide watch. The murderess, who slit the throat of her boyfriend, shot him in the head, and then stabbed . . .

Feds clamp down on 3d printed weapons

Are these spear-thrower designs now illegal?

INTERNET — The State Department Office of Defense Trade Controls Compliance has forced Cody Wilson to “pull” downloadable designs for the world’s first plastic .22 caliber pistol, which was manufactured on a 3d printing machine that recently became available at local office supply stores near you.

Wilson’s designs . . .

Stephen Hawking joins Illuminati, snubs Israel

Who is Stephen Hawking, anyway?

TEL AVIV — Rampant rumors on the net have surfaced espousing contradictory narratives about Stephen Hawking, Israel, and the Illuminati. Most popular of these stories is one in which Hawking has refused to appear at a conference in Israel in protest of their wanton killing of Arabs, while . . .

DOMESTIC DRONE PROGRAM TO DEFEAT TERRORISM

Do you want your precious, innocent child to be abducted and groomed into a Punjabi-loving terrorist? Or do you want little Timmy to grow up to be a god damn PATRIOT? . . .

Media strains for 9/11 symbols in wake of Boston Marathon Bombing

NEW YORK — Wednesday, part of a wing from 9/11 was dug up and hoisted from an alleyway to media fanfare as it was “taken into police custody,” reported Shimon Prokupecz of NBC New York. This shard of wing was exhumed, quite importantly, on the same block as the controversial “ground-zero mosque.” Thursday, Workers at the . . .