ISIS Emirate declares Sharia law in Ferguson

Emir Malcom Muhammhed, who claims to be a representative for the ISIS Caliphate, declared sovereignty over a Ferguson “Black Zone” and instituted Sharia Law.

INTERNET — Rather than hitching a ride to war-torn Syria, many Americans have joined ISIS to carry out “peaceful” operations inside the United States. Thousands of members of ISIS . . .

Dark Hollow Imperial Stout by Blue Mountain Barrel House

This Beer is not adequately described by a scale of 1 to 10.

BEER REVIEW — Removing the cork all at once, in a romantic gesture of pretending I know the right way to open a beer, I smile. The imperial stout is currently 46 degrees, as I left the beer out in . . .

Negro uprising suppressed by Homeland Security

Mainstream Media broadcast images of riots in Negro Ghettoes accompanied by the auctioneer-like intoning of disembodied voices.

FERGUSON — Supporters of Mike Brown, the Young Negro shot down by the brave officer Darren Wilson, flooded into the streets in dismay after no charges were filed against the murderous officer by the secretive grand . . .

BREAKING: BILL COSBY COMMITS SUICIDE AT 77

Bill Cosby

Several women had come forward with allegations against Bill Cosby of gross sexual misconduct.

BILL COSBY — Pain and anguish struck the hearts of millions of fans, Sunday, after news broke of comedian Bill Cosby’s suicide at the age of 77. A rash of sex assault allegations plagued America’s favorite Black comedian earlier . . .

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu Dead at 65

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu passed away suddenly, Sunday evening

REVELATIONS — Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel, died suddenly Sunday evening after suffering a heart attack in his home. He was 65 years old and will be deeply missed by prominent bankers and comedians. His entire estate of over twenty million dollars . . .

Lebal Drocer Denies Wrongdoing in Latest Scandal

The Chronicle.su will never die

SLAVEYARD — Lebal Drocer, indicted for what one Judge called, “laying down with the dogs and getting the fleas,” fired back at Europol after they seized Lebal Drocer Publishing’s heavily-guarded mainframe installation in Belgium, or possibly Germany.

Lebal Drocer’s Chief Marketing Officer Barry B. Poundheaven told reporters, “This . . .

Vladimir Putin says Russia will have low-cost Fusion reactors by 2021

Putin’s sophisticated gambit into Ukraine may soon be backed by something much more powerful than nuclear weapons.

MOSCOW — At the G20 meeting Friday evening, Russian Federation President Vladimir Putin announced a huge leap in technology that will provide clean, low cost fusion energy without the use of any fossil fuels whatsoever. Putin . . .