Barrett Brown, who famously transformed into a spider and attacked Anonymous Anthropologist Biella Coleman while in the midst of a torturous Diesel Therapy, is set to be released from Federal Prison on Tuesday. Here’s a small list of the important facts he should know before tweeting plans for a legitimized, legal revolution.
- The largest Anonymous accounts are now in the hands of an anarcho-fascist fake political theorist, Heather Marsh. She writes crappy books and has the most inflated and bizarre wikipedia page of all time — even compared to Brown’s, which was propagandized in repeated edits by members of Brown’s Project PM. Read: Nobody really cares too much about Anonymous and it’s basically dead. Any operations done in its name can generally be filed under “fake news” and tend towards fascistic terror.
- Wikileaks is now a fascistic propaganda operation highlighting leaks that inspire right-wing fantasies of a Democratic party pedophile cabal (see “Pizzagate”). This parallels Heather Marsh’s Harry Potter fantasy operation #OpDeathEaters, which hilariously sought to rebrand pedophiles as pedosadists, because etymology determines the meaning of words (lol).
- During the election, the quasi-Mormon science fiction propheteer Christopher Nemelka donned the Guy Fawkes mask, declared himself the sole voice of Anonymous, promised to continue the neoliberal economic policies of the United States, and garnered millions of views in a viral youtube video that was nearly an hour long. Hit him up if you’re looking for a hit of Advanced Horse.
- The Anonymous-affiliated ‘Team Poison’ hacker Junaid Hussain, known as Tr1ck, was killed in a drone strike after joining ISIS.
- Sabu, the FBI snitch who Brown defended, has returned to twitter and can be trolled at @hxmonsegur.
- Andrew Aurenhemier, also known as Weev, is not just trolling and is an “actual” nazi. He peed his bed when it was reported that he is now a terrorist and consultant for ISIS. The so-called alt-right is a “race realist” white-nationalists-in-denial movement that throws out exuberant sieg heils at meet-ups “just for the lulz.”
- Andrew Breitbart’s ghost now haunts the white house, depriving Michelle Obama of sleep.
- Alex Jones’ right wing fantasia is a real, actual place where @realDonaldTrump is president of the entire world and that’s a good thing. The long expected revolution has finally happened, and now future terror attacks will actually not be false flags.