The Blackhat Holocaust

uncle_sam2INTERNET — Everything you thought you knew about hacking is bullshit.

After years of living underground, in refuge from the whitehat warlords, blackhat hackers will finally be eliminated in what is being dubbed the “Blackhat Holocaust.” What was once a rich and vibrant scene has been co-opted by the far right-left corporatarians, meaning dollar bills, fellas. Your hats are meaningless in the eyes of governments and corporations alike. All of your ideas, inventions, theories, exploits are being freely(at a cost) distributed amongst the wealthy to piss in the collective pool with.

The NSA are the biggest blackhats, man.

Your OPSEC is futile. You mull over the thousands of possibilities for event(x) out loud on twitter, while the blackhats laugh in the background. Such ugly schadenfreude; but their time has come.

The Internet Chronicles Chief Technology Officer and avid Biella Coleman fan, Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador elaborates: “Blackhats aren’t Anonymous, they aren’t carders, script kiddies, packeteers or those owning Linode for fun. Nay, they are something far more villainous.”

For about 15 years now, people touted whitehats as the enemy of the hacking community at large, but the real harbinger of destruction was the peddling of a deluded belief that being a blackhat meant you could still work for the government, you could still be a corporate lackey, you’d have to sell your soul, but you could still write your exploits… though you’d have to sell those too. Everyone needs money though, right? We understand.

Is there a way to overthrow the omnipresent blackhat hegemony? Absolutely! You must learn the ways of the blackhat, become a blackhat hacker, immerse yourself in all things blackhat. Write as many exploits as possible. You will be challenged though, oh you will be challenged. This task is not for the faint at heart or wallet. With your exploits comes the potential for sale to nation-state actors that will use your own tools against you, your friends and loved ones. You will be lured in by unimaginable riches, the wealth of a thousand kingdoms and oh the power, the mother fucking power! However grandiose it all may seem, don’t fuck your fellow hackers and citizens in the ass. Just don’t fucking do it.

The blackhats will come to you in many forms. It will happen this way: you will be coding… maybe the last sunny day of fall and an encrypted message will be sent to you from someone you know, perhaps even trust, and they will offer a smile, a becoming smile, but they will leave open the door to becoming a true blackhat and offer to give you a lift…

For this day: release your exploits, tools, techniques, everything you’ve ever learned! Destroy all of your 0day via disclosure or distribute them amongst the poor and impoverished! Take the power you collected through your quest for great knowledge and destroy it in one fell swoop.

Cum on them before they cum on you.

And then create something beautiful.

I suppose it doesn’t matter though, guys and dolls, because there’s a war going on and this war is prefixed with “cyber,” fellas. Buyin’ in, sellin’ out.

Prior to Leak, Snowden Played Whistleblowing Videogame

Whistleblow Auto V

Whistleblow Auto V hit stores late Sept.

INTERNET – In 1994, critics led by Tipper Gore called for the rare Adults Only ESRB rating of a controversial videogame that encouraged gamers to hack fictional government mainframes and turn over data for points.

Gore’s fears were not misplaced. New evidence suggests Snowden grew up playing certain games against all caution, such as Dissent, for Playstation 1, and Bureau Kombat.

With technological advances vastly exceeding the predictions of Murphy’s Law, gaming has evolved. Whistleblow Auto V gives players realtime access to actual top-tier government agencies using Antisocial Club, the in-game hacker interface connecting gamers to stocks, politicians’ emails and realtime Skype conversations to destroy political enemies before they can react.

As a result of exposure to the influence of violently helpful videogames, Snowden later downloaded what he could en masse, and hand picked the journalists he wanted disseminating it. He chose Laura Poitras because of her hyper-violent access to the mainstream press.

Poitras profited heavily from the Snowden leaks he stole while working as a contractor for the CIA. And as far as Poitras goes, the US Government doesn’t know whether to prosecute her for publishing leaks, or to turn her into the poster child for American capitalism.

As long as The Truth sells, people will buy it. What would we do without access to absolute reality the mainstream press is selling? What would you do without an imagined baseline of morality? What would we do with the truth?

These are all questions Whistleblow Auto V purports to address under the guise of “entertainment.”

Looking forward

New fears of youth organizing have arisen of EA’s proposal to develop Sim Militia, which EA said will be released in a painful series of full-priced DLC that slowly opens new territory and an innovative hate tree similar to the tech trees of Starcraft and Civilization.

The Red Pill

The red pill offers perfect transcendence to a reality – the only reality – where the human penis is both the conclusion and ultimatum of the natural universe, simultaneously. “She’s the cunt who thought she was God, but that’s okay. I don’t give a shit as long as she sucks me off when I tell her, ’cause she’s my zombie. I captured that motherfucker and she’s my cassette.” What Lebal Drocer Spokesman Raleigh T. Sakers means is there is no facet of existence the red pill can not touch, because if there was, then it wouldn’t be rape.

The Indian Example

India is a culture of rape.

In India, everyone is brought up fantasizing about rape. Instead of casually taking a few girls out on dates one month, boys are conditioned to view women as meat holes under a cloth drape. The rape is an honor of which women can only partake as unwillingly as is possible while still being able to call it an act of rape by definition. To be chosen for rape is every Indian woman’s calling in life. Like the Beatles said, “Rape is all ya need.”

Asking For It.

Asking For It.

India’s such a real place, the red pill philosophy is built into their way of life. Indians are literally born into enlightenment. And if you aren’t, then you’re what’s known as an untouchable (but not un-rape-able). Indian men who never transcended still mimic their sister aging western ideologues by “respecting” a woman’s “choice” who she has “sex” with, but for those who take the red pill, a choice has already been made. And if you’re a woman, you’re getting raped. Just try to act like you don’t enjoy it, for his pleasure.

America Joins Al Qaeda

A transcendental John F. Kennedy once said, “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.”

JFK might have been a no-good Communist sympathizer, but by God, he was right about one thing: serving your country. Besides, why do you think we had him assassinated?

The new frontier is wrought with peril – freedom-threatening, America-hating, chemically weaponized peril. But we don’t have to stand for it!

Who would have thought a man named Barack Hussein Obama would someday turn out to serve Al-Qaeda?

NOT US! But things are different. By gum, times have changed. America’s taking on a new image. No, we still don’t negotiate with terrorists; we FINANCE them! Where are our tax dollars going? Follow the money! Sign up for Al-Qaeda now, and take part in some of the most freedom-enhancing, civilian-terrorizing fun you can have with your pants off – raping countless victims!

Enlist within one hour of reading this to sign up for our Syrian Autumn event and receive premium access to maximum firepower with minimum consequences!

Join Al-Qaeda Today!

Sign up Wednesday for OUR PATRIOT DAY SPECIAL. Can’t beat ’em? Join ’em! 12 years ago tomorrow, Al-Qaeda bombed the World Trade Center, effectively castrating the American spirit of self-determination. Now, we are more reliant on Al-Qaeda for survival than ever before.

Build a Better Tomorrow – Join Al-Qaeda TODAY

A stronger Al-Qaeda

For a stronger America

The US Supports Al Qaeda

The United States of America says you’ll be detained for showing support for Al Qaeda. Because they hate competition.

Semantic Blockage

The NDAA

You never transcended. You’re a semantic fucking blockage.

Oprah Converts Entire Studio Audience To Islam

Oprah holds the Holy Quran

Oprah’s new slogan, “Join or Die,” has some supporters scratching their heads.

DAMASCUS, Syria — Philosopher and television star Oprah Winfrey converted every member of her studio audience to Islam Monday during a new show on the O. Network in which she discusses existence and the metaphysical.

Stagehands appeared behind her, burning an American flag and stomping it out on live TV.

“She’s achieved so much in her life,” special guest Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour said on the program. “It’s now time for her to become enlightened and share it with the world.”

Oprah Converts Audience To Islam

Each member of Oprah’s studio audience received complimentary mandatory piqabs.

Oprah quietly converted to the “religion of peace,” following the beheadings of several Christians in a Syrian village northeast of Damascus.

The prominence of US-backed al-Qaeda freedom fighters in the region factored into Oprah’s decision to see Allah to victory. As America prepares to launch hellfire missiles into the Godless heart of Syrian President Bashar al-Assad’s regime, Oprah encouraged Americans to join the one true God, Allah.

Infidels regarded the program with skepticism as Oprah pointed out each lucky audience member, shouting, “AND YOU’RE ISLAMIC, AND YOU’RE ISLAMIC! YOU’RE ALL ISLAMIC!”

DRUG-Fueled Illuminati SEX Parties Exposed by @JFelloWWMT

The Swingers Brothel of Battle Creek

The Swingers Brothel of Battle Creek

BATTLE CREEK, Mich. – Staff for The Internet Chronicle can confirm a report from WWMT Battle Creek that the Illuminati have been caught doing drugs and taping each other having sex. The Illuminati believe that they derive mystical power from the production of sex tapes.

The police were “brought in,” but action is not expected to be taken, since most police officers live in fear of crossing the elite homosexual death cult, of which most world leaders are members.

Julia Fello did this outstanding reporting but for now has presumably gone into hiding, fearing dire repercussions from the Masons. The write-up on her video reporting reads: “Sources told us the first officer to walk inside, was shocked to find a couple performing a lewd sex act, along with drugs, multiple nude women and men videotaping it all behind these closed doors.”

You can read more here and check out WWMT’s explosive video evidence [NOT SAFE FOR WORK. CONTAINS TRIGGERS.].

GOP Shills for Farm-Subsidy Welfare Queens, via @TimAlberta

Big Agrobusiness Feeds off the Middle Class

Big Agrobusiness Feeds off the Middle Class

WASHINGTON –  Tim Alberta reports for National Journal that the “Republican Study Committee [RSC]—a group of 172 conservative House members—has barred Heritage Foundation employees from attending its weekly meeting in the Capitol.” Heritage, a fiscally conservative Washington think-tank, has traditionally been involved in the closed-door meetings but no longer.

Through the summer, Heritage insisted that a relatively popular program, commonly known as “food stamps,” be voted on separately from subsidies to big agrobusiness.

In July, Michael Needham, CEO of Heritage arm Heritage Action, released a statement to that effect. It read, “The purpose of ending the unholy alliance that has dominated the food stamp and farm bill for decades is to allow substantive debate that would allow the House to show its conservative values. Also, Needham warned the RSC against “subsidies and government intervention that will continue to harm consumers and taxpayers alike.”

You can read more here about how powerful Republican Party politicians are in league against conservatives and with powerful farming special interests.

Ehrenreich: Government says ‘Die’ to Poor

Nation Editor Barbara Ehrenreich said the Government's Message to the Poor is 'Die'

Nation Editor Barbara Ehrenreich said the Government’s Message to the Poor is ‘Die’

WASHINGTON – Barbara Ehrenreich, contributing editor at The Nation, suggested on August 15 that the government’s message to poor people is essentially to “die.” Asked by The Internet Chronicle about the roots of New York City’s stop-and-frisk program, Ehrenreich alluded to a Michigan woman’s struggle to escape a 30-day prison sentence for being unable to pay for a son’s incarceration. Ehrenreich was speaking at the Lamont Street Collective.

“There’s a punitive mentality in this country,” said Ehrenreich, “that is not entirely sane.”

New York City Police have a long-standing policy of halting, interrogating, and searching pedestrians – judicial critics have said, without probable cause. In an August 12 decision, federal District Judge Shira Scheindlin rejected the city’s stop-and-frisk policy, saying that it amounted to “indirect racial profiling.” The vast majority of those stopped in 2012 alone were black or Hispanic.

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg has defended the policy. And Tuesday, city attorneys sent a letter to Scheindlin citing statistics that use of the policy had declined by more than half over a year.

According to a statement by the American Civil Liberties Union, Edwina Nowlin, a Detroit, Michigan native, served 28 days of her sentence before the organization’s having successfully interceded.

Ehrenreich, the New York Times bestselling author of “Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America” blamed the rise of New York City’s financial sector in the 1980s and 1990s for the persecution of the poor. “Gentrification,” she said, has become rationale for targeting the impoverished.

Said Ehrenreich, Nowlin “was picked up by the cops on the street and charged with not only the usual homeless crime of being in the street and so forth but with failing to pay for her son’s – 16-year-old son’s – room and board in jail … So [Nowlin] gets picked up and she gets put in jail for that. Then she gets a paycheck. She thinks it can be applied to her son’s room and board, but no, it’s immediately confiscated for her room and board in jail.”

Added Ehrenreich, “Now, what is going on here? What are they thinking? I mean, the message to people who don’t have money is, ‘die;’ you know, just be dead; be gone.”

Ehrenreich also said that the mass incarceration of the poor – the design, she claims, of the Bloomberg administration’s embrace of stop-and-frisk – initiated under the aegis of beautification.

At the close of her talk, she said that her opposition to stop-and-frisk not due to its enforcement being racist but because police should not have grounds to randomly halt and interrogate innocent individuals whatsoever.

The author’s comments on August 15 are in the video below:

Syrian Liberation Looming, Commerce Dept.: Streaming Al Jazeera English a ‘Felony’

Domestic Extremists: Al Jazeera America's Coverage is Covering up the Truth about Syria

Domestic Extremists: Al Jazeera America’s Coverage is Covering up the Truth about Syria

WASHINGTON – As a full-scale NATO offensive against Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad looms, the Obama administration’s Commerce Department is ensuring that Americans have full access to accurate information about the upcoming struggle. Commerce Secretary Penny Pritzker said Tuesday that any Americans attempting to Web-stream Al Jazeera English, as opposed to Al Jazeera America, would face felony charges.

In an on-the-record teleconference Tuesday Sec. Penny Pritzker said, “Al Jazeera America is the go-to source for Americans interested in news about the conflict. In a time of war, it’s time for Americans to unify around one story and one nation.”

State Public Affairs Undersecretary Tara Sonenshine joined Sec. Pritzker on the call, and added what she described as “much-needed” context to State Secretary Hillary Clinton’s Spring 2011 advisement that Al Jazeera English had proven the “real news.”

It was then, in the midst of the Arab spring, that Sec. Clinton said, “Al Jazeera has been the leader in … literally changing people’s minds and attitudes” and that it had been “really effective.”

Ms. Sonenshine addressed complaints by disloyal Al Jazeera staff, published in Lebanon’s Al Akhbar, that Al Jazeera had become oblivious to suffering allegedly caused at the hands of the Free Syrian Army’s freedom fighters.

Screenshot: Al Jazeera English, Inappropriate for Americans

Screenshot: Al Jazeera English, Inappropriate for Americans

Ms Sec. Sonenshine said, “Unfortunately, frivolous public statements by violators of NDAs [nondisclosure agreements] have compromised what remains an interest in global awareness and the free flow of information.”

The high-level officials’ comments echo a Commerce Department position articulated last month. A department Green Paper made clear the administration’s position that Congress should “enact legislation adopting the same range of penalties for criminal streaming of copyrighted works as now exists for criminal reproduction and distribution.” As the liberation of Syria has become more certain, Congress has acted to ensure that violators of intellectual property rights are delivered justice.

“Would-be offenders,” said Ms. Sonenshine, “should understand our commitment to protecting the innovation of all of our global partners, including Al Jazeera America. I want the international community to understand we take our IP [intellectual property] obligations as seriously as ever.”

Al Jazeera provided what the state secretary regarded as “cutting-edge” coverage of the Arab Spring. Since then, the Qatar-based news service has launched a new channel, Al Jazeera America, tailored especially to the interests and – said Undersecretary Sonenshine – self-interests of middle-class Americans.

Sec. Pritzer cited her concern that citizens might become “confused” about the United States’ and al-Qaeda’s new, mutual front against the barbarism of the Assad regime. Al-Qaeda, a Salafist and Wahhabist group slandered throughout the Gulf, is now on the front lines against the Syrian evildoers.

“While Americans have every right to feel misgivings over al-Qaeda’s role in perpetrating the 9/11 attacks,” said Sec. Pritzker, “it is far more important, for national security, for them to now remember the plight of Syrians suffering from the Assad regime’s morally obscene deployment of weapons of mass destruction.” Added Pritzer, “The agenda of freedom in the Middle East is larger than any given sect or clique. We can’t kowtow to domestic extremists bent on enforcing their grudges on the rest of civil society.”