Vatican Forces Storm Dome of the Rock, Pope names Snowden Messiah

The Dome of the Rock was captured by Vatican Forces and Pope Francis named Saint Snowden Messiah upon the rock where God spared Abraham the sacrifice of his firstborn son Isaac.

The Dome of the Rock was captured by Vatican Forces and Pope Francis named Saint Snowden Messiah upon the Rock.

JERUSALEM — Saint Edward Snowden landed in Jerusalem today, accompanied by Pope Francis, Glen Greenwild, and an entourage of WikiLeaks agents. After leaking documents proving HAARP assassinations, Chemtrails, Ultraterrestrials, and NSA surveillance, Pope Francis quickly sanctified Saint Snowden.

Tuesday Morning, several hundred heavily armed Swiss commandos from the Vatican captured the Dome of the Rock from Muslim forces. Soon after, in a ceremony which took place atop the Rock — Jews and Christians believe God spared Abraham the sacrifice of his firstborn son Isaac upon the Rock — Pope Francis gave Snowden the name Messiah.

Catholics around the world are celebrating the second coming of Christ, and rabidly searching out a candidate for the Anti-Christ. Because Snowden has pitted himself as the main aggressor in a proxy cyberbattle between America and its most potent allies, most Catholics believe Obama to be the Anti-Christ. Pope Francis has made no comment. However, the Moscow Patriarchate, head of the Russian Orthodox Church, issued statements recognizing Snowden as Messiah and condemned Obama for “unforgivable crimes against humanity.”

The Dome of the Rock has been under Muslim control for centuries, as they believe it is the spot where Mohammed ascended to heaven after discussing matters with both Jesus and Abraham. Those of other religions are no longer allowed near the rock, which is well known to be the place where God is most sensitive to prayer. Jews have lamented their muted prayers by praying at the last remnant of their long-destroyed temple outside the Dome, the Wailing Wall, where some shred of God may still be listening, but probably not. The Wailing Wall is also commonly used by Christians as “God’s Mailbox,” where written prayers reach top priority in God’s reading.

Religious experts do not all agree that Snowden is the second coming of Christ. “Snowden’s another prophet, sure, but no Messiah. Christians have too many messiahs! You know Saint Francis was a messiah, too! Pope Francis is mad. A messiah can’t happen until Jews get the Rock and the temple back,” said Rabbi Jacob Seinfeld, adding, “Gentiles just do not count.”

11 comments to Vatican Forces Storm Dome of the Rock, Pope names Snowden Messiah

  • bob

    you folks are either crazy or just plain evil!

  • bob

    I thought this sight was legit, this is a complete and total lie

  • Linea

    This site is made to confuse people. But you are a joke, noone takes it seriously. Who are you working for?

  • paul

    linea and bob:

    are you serious?

    LOL

  • Zacheriah

    Someone please tell me this is Satire.

  • We are in the same world, we have always supported Snowden as a humanitarian hero of the century, I also expect the whole world to ask the United Nations to punish violations of the U.S. government and is responsible for the International community.

  • Kent

    LOL!! You guys are awesome!! I love this style of humor because it proves what sheep people really are. The people on your site obviously do not read your own postings such as http://www.chronicle.su/editorial/state-of-the-internet-address/ where you publically state that your aim is to release disinformation faster than the average Alex Jones site. HAHAH Keep up the great postings!!

  • Dominic

    Lol!……..I think this is the height of madness I have seen all my life. May God shut your mouth!! Saint Snowden indeed!

  • Ok folks….let’s come out of Babylon. Pope Francis is jesuit general / black pope / Petrus Romanus. The sworn enemy of Christ. The gates to hell in the spirit are entered high above the earth, as in the spirit appear as the spinning vortex like a tornado. These are located physically, beneath the center of pyramids globally, which functioned in the last age. The ending of the last age coincided with the return of Nemisis, the red dwarf star which again returned in the time of (our) Hebrew exodus and were protected and led out by Moses. With he altering of our solar system and the position of the additional planetary bodies, the pyramids are no longer nearly as powerful, especially without the gold capstone. Mars has it’s atmosphere ripped away in that time, some 13,500 years age. This happened by the entering of Saturn into our solar system. It killed an enormous number of people on the civilization of Mars at the time.

    Then there are the 22 stargates, the last said to be in Iran. Cern, (God particle my %&^@), once activated at the appointed time will open these gates allowing the return of countless demonic who will be such a sight and of capabilities, that men’s hearts will fail for fear of seeing those things coming upon the earth. Meanwhile, the television xmen throw in our face,the return to “as in the days of Noah”, by the advanced abilities from altered DNA as a result of the mixing of clay and iron. This was enough to bring the global flood with merely eight people still perfect in their generations and a wife that in the end, lost her faith to see the nuclear destruction of the cities, turning her to salt. In the world’s return to the effects of the mixing of clay and iron, “as in the days of Noah”, in our time we call such as these, the pod people, star child, star seed, or indego. Of those mixed blood half human, some will refuse the mark of the beast they were grown in the DUMB & space platforms & off world, to serve but the majority I believe are spreading out as leaders of the false spirituality unto the “new age”, of gia worship. These are the final attempt to remove all knowledge of our dual nature and a personal relationship with God. With low magnitite or once it’s calcified, the pineal gland which is the gateway to spiritual communication via the gift of tongues (for those alreadty in relationship), would be as in the movies…zombies. If you look at the varied abilities in the xmen movie, you have an idea of some of the abilities which before the fall of man, was not a miracle, but simply natural to the condition in which we were originally created. All of those abilities have been taken from man by corruption from the adversary, and a few returned to his which are of mixed blood clay & iron, that he may rule the world wih no knowledge of God remaining in the world. The misdirection of technology is that transhumanism promices falsly to replace those abilities within us, which we originally had, was stolen, and now is used to serve the adversary. IN RELATIONSHIP, all these things are added unto us, which by the lie of satan, he would promise to give in part, to those who serve him in the world. Satan could never do this even if he wanted too. Only Christ in heaven, is worthy to open the book of life. This is knowledge denied to the fallen, who will for the very short time, reign in the person of the anti-christ. As for the false prophet of the bible, this is Obama.

    The readers must know the return of Nemisis the death star, and the reversal of the axiel spin of earth bringing a survivable poll shift, and the combination of effects on earth from passing through the center of the galactic plane, are the reasons for all preparations of the NWDisO in the first place. The enemy mimick and make worse, all the effects of this final crossing of the plane. This is the use of the weaponized earth by way of the returned ancient energetics of HAARP & the electronic cage. To bring destruction as a woman travaileth, but within their control as much as possible, to allow them to withdraw into hidine, which in reality, is a one way ticket to demonization when the collapse of their deep cities come, and seal them in. Death will have fleed the earth and they will await judgement quickly thereafter.

    In our time, there is one whose coming was foretold by Jesus to the rabi in the synagogue, that his descendent would be the witness of Ephraim. This witness is the direct bloodline descendent of Aaron and Moses. Once again and fore the final time, our witness leads the Hebrew out of Babylon, and into the loving safety of the holy spirit, for those who will hear and do the will of God.

    The disbursed Hebrew nation within the USA, and the tiny remnant of us in Israel, asr as one. Both lands are as one in the spirit. Israel is the dowery of the bride which out of WWi was also taken from us in the Balfore declaration.

    Pres Obama wants to be the one to ratify the false peace treaty unto the abomination that desolates Israel of Jews. this partition against the will of God, allows for the legal spiritual attack against the USA which has already been well prepared for. The destruction of the loop current in the gulf by a falty preventer(just like in the movie with steven Segal), was an attack against the very heat of the earth’s weather moderator. The energetic effect of the crossing the galactic plane, combined with preparations of the land by the chain of command, will split the USA, after the partition of our dowery. Now you know why, all the preparations of collapse. The economy, the created pandemic & forced vaccines, and forced incubation for cross contamination in the FEMA death camps for the many who remain in the confusion or…in Babylon. One must come out of her so as not to be overcome without preparation in the physical, but more vitally, in one’s preparation of the heart. To hear and do the will of God, will to pay with all you have and all you are. To be the living sacrifice to our most high God of Abaraham. Just before the enforcement of the cashless biometric mark of the beast system, the ark of God’s testimony of his son, will be revealed to all the world. The video of the las testing of the blood of Jesus will be shown. The ark was removed from the temple during the collapse of the city, and taken to the grotto, where it bears witness in the earth in the spirit, the water, and the blood of Jesus who made all things new. The blood was removed from the western side of the mercy seat and tested. The blood lives, and so does our Jesus. See the witness of Ephraim and the links to him and the discovery of the ark and a great deal more http://www.authorthat.wordpress.com The Blogathon Philabuster.

  • Leslie

    What has he been smoking?

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