Snowden Dead of ‘Apparent Suicide’

Edward Snowden
Some people might say Snowden was a hero. Not us, however. We hated Snowden.

Russian authorities say Edward Snowden was found dead in his hotel room Monday. The apparent cause of death according to US officials is suicide.

Edward Snowden became a global name in July following his controversial disclosure of top secret government documents confirming the supposed existence of a global surveillance program, PRISM, XKeyScore and other revelations surrounding the details of chemtrails and HAARP, the weather control facility recently discontinued by the United States as an apology to the Native American Indians.

Rumors of Snowden’s murder have already begun to circulate through Twitter and Facebook, although there is still no consensus around who to blame. Many patriotic Americans have already begun celebrating Snowden’s death by firing rifles and handguns into the woods behind their homes. The Socialist minority, however, staged a midnight vigil at the lawn under the Washington Monument.

Snowden’s death comes on the heels of an announcement by US President Barack Hussein Obama that the 2011 PATRIOT ACT is being dialed back, along with programs by the NSA and DARPA.

Obama made no promises to discontinue the global collection and analysis of Internet traffic, but said he did not consider Snowden a “patriot.”

37 Replies to “Snowden Dead of ‘Apparent Suicide’”

  1. If Snowden is dead then why isn’t all over the ineternet right now? I can’t finda nything about this except on your site.

  2. it’s a hoax, like everything in this site. I LOLLED as HELL reading the coward americans that in this hoax site attacks Snowden

    1. Not all or even most Americans believe the bullshit, I’m an American and I believe in what Snowden has done to make the world a better place.

  3. The U.S. and Russia agreed the conclusion that Snowden committed suicide.

    This would be the best conclusion to avoid a new cold war between russia and U.S.

  4. Sick deranged few wish him dead but plenty more appreciate him for his whistle blowing and patriotism. May he live a long life and and claim his heroic place in history.

  5. What will be the next article on this site? A pink unicorn that eat people dressed like a giant octopus? Or the return of Saiyans?

  6. anyone who believes he is dead is fucking stupid….he has many more American secrets than he has already leaked, he hasn’t committed suicide, and they aren’t going to fucking kill him.

  7. First and foremost the patriots think of him as a hero. No one fired their guns in the woods in the u.s. over this. If its true we are going to mourn our fallen hero. And why would that man commit suicide now? He could have before he leaked that info. It’s a cover up.

  8. The proprietors of this site are ball-less eunuchs who are also castrated mentally, emotionally and intellectually. Must be nice to have your own sandbox to shit upon. Morons.

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  10. This is not real. This same website posted a story that a drone killed him in Hong Kong a few months back. This website is full of shit and you all should do yourselves a favor and leave and never come back.

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