We come bearing gifts!

It is one thing to know government officials are corrupt. Meeting the indecency face-to-face, however, is another story.

Mike Webert, Career Criminal
Mike Webert is a white collar criminal-in-training who paid his freshman dues to the power structure, attempting to legislate extra money and power to police forces near you.

The neoliberal hate machine known as “The Virginia Way” is far more gruesome than newspapers can tell – or are willing to tell – and this spring I was fortunate enough to learn firsthand just what a nightmare we live in. It was a good experience, but I had anxiety attacks on a near-daily basis.

What I could not articulate at the time is why I thought a “bad” experience was a good thing. Since I believe in myself and the content of my work, I was never so happy to have a story as I was disillusioned by the facts I reported. But I realized that even though I cherish the experience, I never came back from the capitol with a smile on my face, because what I saw there was truly horrific.

I never thought to myself, “That was nice,” or, “That went well.” Each day shocked or disturbed me in new ways. Politicians accept money directly from contractors, for example, to vote on initiatives that put those contractors to work rather than opening jobs up to bidding. And if the rally against Medicaid expansion wasn’t an attack on the working class, then neither was Jim Crow.

I often paced the floors wondering how to communicate basic legislation in the context of Virginia’s descent into hyperlibertarianism.

It was my job to report what I heard and saw, but many times I could not put even the most basic practices into words. The question of ‘why’ was always answered with money, but whose money? The real story felt like it was hidden beneath layers of intentionally misleading arguments, a deceptive smile, or the tone of voice rather than the empty words themselves.

As I continue to follow the money into my own arranged accident, I am still connecting evidence. But the best example of money in politics at the literal level, when dealing with public servants, is the story of a fellow CNS reporter once waited patiently outside of a delegate’s office.

He is an enthusiastic journalist willing to do whatever it takes to get an answer, so when a legislative aide told him his source might be available sometime between the morning and lunch, he decided to wait for that opportunity. With a pen and paper in his lap, he waited for hours.

Legislative aides are people in the capitol building who manage a legislator’s public image, send emails and schedule appointments. They are known to sometimes offer vague details about a politician’s whereabouts or activity. It is a game of their own, and aides control access to our elected officials.

He waited a long time. During his third hour of waiting for a chance to interview the representative, a small group of lobbyists appeared with flowers and gift baskets of fruit, cheeses and dried meats.

“We come bearing gifts!” the female announced, holding up a gift basket with a smile.

“Well, hello!” replied the aide, taking the flowers and displaying them on her desk. “Please, come on in!”

The group strode by as my reporter continued to wait. They disappeared into their mutual representative’s office and closed the door.

If ever a politician was honest, it was a notoriously hateful Manassas Tea Party Republican named Bob Marshall who said Gov. Terry McAuliffe’s executive order – to limit the amount of gifts politicians may legally receive – pushes corruption underground. They still accept blood money; they just don’t publish it on their website.

What nobody will say, however, is why publishing gifts in any amount does little more than add insult to injury upon our political system: when you can purchase a public policy vote, and list the going rate.

"Corporations have money on both sides of the ball. If you still think it's an issue of liberals vs. conservatives, then you still believe in Santa Claus." - Bill Burr
“Corporations have money on both sides of the ball. If you still think it’s an issue of liberals vs. conservatives, then you still believe in Santa Claus.” – Bill Burr

There is no such thing as 'politics'- it's all money

My time as a “real journalist”

I recently spent time as a news reporter covering Virginia state politics. Over the course of a series of anxiety attacks and a number of shattered worldviews, I learned that ideology is important to politics like OJ’s alibi helped his case. Sure, you can put out a hypothetical argument, but everybody knows it’s money that makes real shit happen.

Allow me to state the obvious: Virginia’s 1% has the fucking money.

evil-white-motherfuckers

How much money? Never enough, if you know where to look. Mitt Romney, who ran against Obama in 2012, just gave our disgraced former governor $10,000 to help him get out of that whole “selling political power” indictment he and his wife so unfortunately found themselves in.

How much money? So much that it looks like Virginia doesn’t need free federal assistance. The state and its ignorant voter set recently answered a poll saying “no thank you” to Medicaid expansion that would have insured 450,000 needy Virginians. The same Virginians who could use the money (no strings attached, mind you, none at all – the money was going to this purpose anyway), with their hands held out in that begging, “Oh God help me or I’m going to die” style, are literally saying no to it. Are we a stupid people? Maybe, but even stupid people have instincts. Virginians are actually saying no to the federal money because the ideological farce favors corporate power on a scale so staggering, so stupefying, that world religious leaders probably look at America and think to themselves, “Why the fuck didn’t we think of that?”

How much money? Too much to report on. I attempted to report where Governor Terry McAuliffe’s money came from in December, shortly before he took office. My editor, a respected college professor, must be a democrat because he edited out the parts where I reported who gave McAuliffe his money, and how his promises aligned with their business models, and sent it to publication without my consent. He told me later he took it out because “it sounded forced.”

Why is that a problem? We journalists are taught to risk our freedom and risk our lives to report as much of the power politics minutia as we possibly can. Hacks report what a politician says to his opponents. Quality journalists report what a politician says, and where his money comes from, in a practice collectively known as “follow the money.” Nixon was toppled because two journalists successfully followed the money. Corrupt Bob McDonnell and his bottom-feeding wife might go to jail because people followed the money. And now I have attempted to follow the money.

Running The Internet Chronicle, combined with a practice of hounding powerful white men, has gotten me an incessantly clicking cellphone camera (thanks, Angry Birds), publication in over 20 Virginia newspapers in the last quarter, and some kind of awesome real-world resume-topping bullshit like I even give a fuck, like that’s even impressive, like it’s gonna get me a job in a decayed industry – like I’m some kind of briefcase-carrying, cigar-smoking, brandy-drinking, bottom-feeding, ladder-climbing young professional product of television: “Just Shoot Me!” and I’m going to make jokes with my boss about who got food for the office last time, and ‘this damn printer, again!’ Those interactions as you and I know are obviously going to be relegated to, “Holy shit, did you see the size of that rat?” and “You think we can afford to keep the paper running after Sears pulls out advertising?”

See, it’s money. Money keeps it moving. I asked a Republican delegate who introduced whistleblower protection laws if Snowden, too, is a patriot in the same way the local man was who the legislation is aimed at. “Not even the same ballgame,” he replied. And if you think Republicans are “worse” than Democrats for taking money like they do, then just take a look at this website.

If you dig in deep enough, you’ll find the same companies padding the pockets of every single motherfucking politician – democrat or republican (since those are our only two choices, what a democracy!) who touches their work. A construction company wants the city bid on an upcoming project? Well, guess who donated to the chairs of every planning committee, subcommittee and appropriations committee the project’s legislation passed through! No, the real question should be, who DIDN’T receive money to lie to you? To pretend to be ideologically motivated, instead of financially motivated? Who didn’t shake your hand, and lie to your face at a bar or some fucking ribbon cutting ceremony, when he was wearing plaid and kissing your faggoty baby, telling you how he’s gonna remember your name and take your concerns to Washington?

There’s not a living Virginia politician who doesn’t exchange political power for money. That’s why they want the job. You get rich as fuck doing this, and you get all kinds of neat perks like the chance to ride in a fast car, and free boats and shit. Hell, there’s not even a politician who’s neither Republican nor Democrat. And if you’re worried about somebody pulling a Lee Harvey Oswald, don’t sweat it. We got guys watching those guys. The power structure is safe. It’s people like you and me who are not. Their phones don’t click. They behave. Our phones click. Our power is dubious. Think I’m wrong? Do your own research, and I’ll do mine, and let’s see what we come up with.

In the case of my editor, who deleted the most important part of my McAuliffe piece, he not only protected the old white dude power structure, he failed to remove any of the potential dangers that challenging that system presented me with. My phone still clicks. Because my first draft got traded around via public college email servers, my intentions are still there, on a permanent record, but not for the public to see. The truth is instead hidden in some government database used to build a profile of my political leanings and tendencies to try to agitate and challenge authority. And nobody even got to see the fucking reason why. If I disappear, they’ll assume it’s because I was failing as a journalist. They’ll know I was just reckless and weak. Couldn’t string any real, hard-hitting story out anyway. When he did, it was a one-off kind of thing.

Sometimes I wonder: Wouldn’t it be funny if we all put our money together and outspent a corporation in the 2016 elections? I mean, we would have to spend a lot of money, and that’s not all. We’d need to pay staffs of lobbyists to keep a stream of gift-baskets and incentives flowing into these men’s offices. We’d need real fucking spending power. Also, we’d need a We. We don’t have a We. We strategically divided. Your profile and mine, they just don’t align.

But wouldn’t it be funny? It’s only a thought. Anyway, I know I can’t afford it, and you can’t either. That’s the beauty of capitalism! Spending money on political campaigns is a constitutionally protected form of free speech.

How much freedom can YOU afford?

Tony Hayward awarded Presidential Medal of Freedom

Recently awarded 14 additional drilling permits. But the Gulf will never be clean again.

Russia gets Libyan oil as half-assed NATO led attempt for democracy fails

Mergelov trying not to vomit the morning whore piss
Mikhail Margelov may or may not have Downs Syndrome.

Moscow–“Syria is political chess, not American football,” said Mikhail Margelov, Presidential envoy to Africa, and Russian Premiere to Libya, implying Sunday America has no role in the country, so they should get out.

Margelov spoke on conditions of Anonymity during talks with Soviet journal RT. Over the course of their discussion, he indicated democratic efforts in Libya have failed.

Margelov said, “Some people happy to openly drink moonshine and others unhappy about that because they’re in favor of Sharia laws all over the country.”

“Some people are thinking about purity and Islamic identity,” Margelov boasted. “Some talk about necessity of establishing Sharia law all over the country, Islamic world, all over the Arab world.” At this, Margelov’s eyes flashed, then rolled back into his head as he foamed at the mouth.

“Chances of New Libyan Government and judicial system sharing values of human rights and democracy expected to be minimal,” Margelov explained through gritted teeth.

Related news [ Libya ]

  1. Russian oil companies have already started operations in Libya
  2. Russian railroads “ready to get back.”
  3. New Libyan Government welcomes Russian companies! Margelov: “So why not?”
Mikhail Mergelov needs oil like pretty bad apparently

This message is brought to you Faithfully by Lebal Drocer, Inc.
Sponsored message:

“Feed the beast in your heart. Donate to Lebal Drocer of Latter Day Saints today and save yourself for tomorrow. Darkness consuming faces of all people, dissolving egos, stealing souls, producing zombies of the Final Apocalypse.”

The nightmare isn’t over until you’re dead. That’s the Lebal Drocer Guarantee! (All rights reserved)

CHRONICLE SUPPRESSED BY INDIGNANT US GOVERNMENT

Key members of the U.S. Senate have privately avowed to have the Chronicle taken down
Key members of the U.S. Senate have privately avowed to have chronicle.su taken down forever.

WASHINGTON– PRECLUDING THE PROTECT IP ACT, FEDERAL ACTION WAS TAKEN LATE SATURDAY NIGHT AGAINST THE CHRONICLE.SU IN ONE OF A HANDFUL OF “PLANNED ATTACKS” AGAINST WEBSITES “DEDICATED TO INFRINGING ACTIVITIES.” THE NATURE OF THE ATTACK, HOWEVER, IS POLITICALLY MOTIVATED.

HERE’S WHY:

THE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY IN QUESTION [WHOSE AUDIO COPYRIGHT BELONGS TO A DEAD HOBO] IS NOT HOSTED AT CHRONICLE.SU, MEANING NOT ONLY ARE THE ACTIONS TAKEN AGAINST THE CHRONICLE ILLEGAL, THEY ARE AN ABUSE OF POWER GRANTED BY A LAW WHICH DOESN’T EVEN EXIST YET.

Roy Blunt ready to "drop the hammer" on chronicle.su
"Hammer those Chronicle boys into shape with THIS!"

THE CHRONICLE.SU IS ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN LEGAL BATTLES WITH “SEVERAL” MEMBERS OF THE UNITED STATES SENATE, NAMELY A DISCREET LIST OF CO-SPONSORS OF THE “PROTECT IP ACT.” NOT ONLY DOES OUR TAKEDOWN SUBVERT THE FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS OF CHRONICLE STAFF [ALL AMERICAN CITIZENS] BUT THE ASSAULT COMES DIRECTLY FROM WITHIN THE GOVERNMENT [IN CONTRAST TO RECENT ATTACKS BY RIGHTWING PSEUDOHACKERS KNOWN WITHIN THE INTERNET COMMUNITY AS “SCRIPT KIDDIES”].

DOING YOUR PART:

FREEDOM ISN’T FREE. TO COVER OVERSEAS HOSTING COSTS AND “INCREASING DRUG INTAKE” THE CHRONICLE.SU STAFF IS PASSIVELY ACCEPTING BITCOIN DONATIONS AT THE FOLLOWING ADDRESS:

1PpkFjUeCUc2gJmCVuw79zGQTKjzEWG8yr

THE EMBATTLED CHRONICLE.SU HAS BROKEN OFF FROM THE UNITED STATES AND HAS EXPRESSED CONTROVERSIAL SOLIDARITY WITH UNCONVENTIONAL PARTNERS: THE SEPARATIST MOVEMENT PKK, THE KURDISTAN WORKERS’ PARTY.

PKKTHE PKK IS A KURDISH MILITANT ORGANIZATION WHICH HAS SINCE 1984 BEEN FIGHTING AN ARMED STRUGGLE AGAINST THE TURKISH STATE FOR AN AUTONOMOUS NATION AND GREATER HUMAN RIGHTS FOR ALL PEOPLE.

CHRONICLE.SU IS REPORTED TO HAVE RECEIVED THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IN EXCHANGE FOR ONGOING POLITICAL SUPPORT TO THE COMMUNIST REGIME.

THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN.
THE ATTACKS AGAINST THE CHRONICLE.SU AND LEBAL DROCER WILL NOT STAND. THE CHRONICLE.SU WILL NEVER DIE. CENSORSHIP IS QUIET. THE TRUTH IS LOUD.

THEY WILL DO ALL THAT THEY CAN TO CHIP AWAY AT OUR FREEDOMS OF SPEECH. THIS IS ONE IN A MYRIAD OF PECKS INTO A STONE MOUNTAIN OF UGLY TRUTHS THE GOVERNMENT DOESN’T WANT YOU TO KNOW. WE WILL WIN.

THE CHRONICLE ALWAYS WINS.

“READ THE CHRONICLE. KNOW THE TRUTH.”

[email protected]

The United States Government Is Completely Irrelevant

The American Revolution is Inevitable

Historically, America has been a model for Democracy and the Western way of life. But we’ve lost our national identity to enablers who gave corporations carte blanche at the Bank of American Dreams. That’s okay. It happens. That’s the end result of Capitalism. They got all our money. They’re not going to give it back. That is a fact we have to accept which can’t be changed.

Further deterioration of our standard of living can be prevented, however, but it’s going to take “something bigger” than simply electing a new guy in 2012.

To avoid total collapse of the American nation, Americans need to overthrow their government, which is now extensively corrupt, harmful and irrelevant.

Capitalism is fine, but the United States Government is not. It must come down.

The American Dream should not belong only to the elite, but high-ranking government officials created the conditions allowing corporate entities to absorb so much money, there is not enough left to run a business, much less turn a profit. Starting a small business is virtually impossible. Even as the Federal Reserve prints more money it can’t substantiate, that new cash finds its way not into the federal budget, not into your paychecks, not in the form of an economic stimulus package, but into the vacuum of corporate will, forcing inflation.

America is in the exact same place as Egypt before Egypt’s revolution and will ultimately be forced to follow their model, military-based interim government and all.

The media is not going to do it for you. There will be no reality TV show called “Protesters,” where the stars conspire to revolt all the while taking your emotional housewives on a spiritual journey into their own ugly centers. The TV news won’t even acknowledge a revolution until it’s right outside their doors, and God only knows the spin they’re going to put on it for you middle-aged couch-dwellers out there.

So you are on your own with your decision to stay put or to act. But you can rest assured, that regardless of your choice, you will not be alone; and should you choose to act on the purest of impulses – to see justice brought to our corrupt leaders – you will be joined not by tens of thousands, but a half-million or more good, Democracy-loving Americans just like yourselves.

Using the Egyptian model, change is within reach. The American military is comprised of our brothers, sisters, children, friends and parents who wish to see the best for America, not corrupt politicians; and like Egypt, will continue to protect the country, even if a murderous career liar happens to hold office.

The only reason Egypt hasn’t yet fully come around is because they’re still trying to draft a Constitution. Americans love their Constitution, inasmuch as the Federal Government allows us to use it.

Therefore, every 10,000 protesters on the streets will be matched by 100,000 who, from their PCs and recliners, may wish the revolutionaries well, and pray silently to God activism doesn’t shut down the Internet.

If American leadership refuses to use the tools voted into their hands, then there is no other solution than to empty every seat in the House, Congress and Senate, and clear out the White House – and also their bank accounts – where at least a portion of your money sits, awaiting reclamation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness- That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed – That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of those ends, it is Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

-Declaration of Independence (more abused than my semi-colons)

Indonesian Tax System Buys More Poverty To Feed The Rich

Dear elfwax, I am a fans of Chronicle.su. I live in 3rd wolrd country namely Indonesia. I have no social security numbers which is great!

The governemnt is suck lately, they force us to have tax number lately instead of social security number.

We are new with this kind of thing. it feels like we are haunted. the tax number attached till I die, reporting tax every year. penalty if we dont/late report. everything is taxed. we pay 10% additional tax for food, drink at restaurant. 21% for more expensive restaurant.

it is called income tax, i dont know how to call this double/triple multiple tax. we pay for the income, and pay another tax again when buying things.

that is what people do at 1st world country. everybody has to report tax, but we are still a 3rd world country!

our tax is used for paying the parliament member, paying their abroad trip, paying their office car. toyota crown! they want to build a new office for the parliament member with spa and gym and pool inside.

China pirates self


In an astonishing blow to the country’s economy, China has managed to duplicate itself in the Communist state’s most recent piracy spree.

China(2), as experts are now calling it, will be placed on the country’s Desktop until room can be made in the State External Hard Drive (Taiwan). However, Taiwan is not ready to store the pirated nation until China agrees to a deal in which their service is exchanged for humanitarian respect. Because Taiwan expects something in return for their work, Chinese correspondents report that the separated nation runs a serious risk of looking like Metallica for taking such a “Lars Ulrichy” stance on piracy, declaring them, quote, “Big whiny pussies.”

Paradoxically, when China(2) was downloaded illegally off the Internet, the Chinese “Hong Kong’s-Disney Land Is-Too-Far-So-Bring-Your-Family-To-This-Amusement-Park-Instead” knockoff became an officially licensed Walt Disney World, complete with Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, as well as other public domain stories and characters for which copyrights have been hijacked and redeployed for profits.

Also, scientists say that due to the lossy compression method of the recently downloaded China(2), its lead content has nearly halved, and the new country’s methods of corruption are already effecting the integrity of the Communist State’s underlying systems of internal exchange.

“One can watch as [the document] collapses in on itself before the eyes,” said Chinese(2) correspondent Jack Danielson. “In a vacuum, China(2) can not stand up to its own self-annihilation. The isolated economy of China(2) seems to have backwashed on itself and the citizens appear to be resorting to Capitalism as a means of survival. It is unprecedented.”

China is available for download on Apple’s iTunes for US $.99 and a nominal sign-up fee. The paid, legal copy comes fully stocked with connections to North Korea and Russia, and unlike its pirated counterpart, poisons babies with formula replaced by authentic Chinese cleaning powders.

Iran bastardizes "Democratic" election


Chaos in Iran
—————-

Mir Hossein Mousavi, Ahmadinejad’s opposition in Iran’s primary election, has been placed on house arrest following mass rioting throughout the broken nation.

Rigged polls gave the incumbent dictator 63 percent of the votes, leaving Mousavi with less than 34 percent – a difference that, if not tragic, is laughably contrary to what inside analysts projected. Most analysts, including secret inside reporters risking their lives and freedom to report the truth, indicated early on that given the outrageously high young voter turnout, Mousavi would probably walk away with “at least half” of the votes.

Mousavi was even beaten in his own “heartland” – a tampering that secures all suspicions that something is inherently wrong with modern voting standards in every Democratic region, but especially in those regions with Religious entanglement and high-profile corruption.

One Iranian citizen expressed his disenchantment with the ongoing bastardization of his Republic, saying, “You just have to close your eyes and try not to think about it.”

General Tso's Chicken 13% Lead


General Tso’s chicken is a staple of American Chinese take-out restaurants, familiar to millions of fatasses. Starting at the turn of the 20th century, early Chinese restaurants began to sprout up all over America, fueled by the popularity of General Tso’s chicken. Chinese establishments have long been known to spike their food with inordinate amounts of MSG, a practice that increases business at the expense of public health.
Recent scientific findings by trusted Elf Wax scientists have revealed a dangerously high lead content in many Chinese restaurants. Due to the use of lead paint in take-out menus, food coloring, and dish soap, some restaurants have served Elf Wax scientists with General Tso’s Chicken contaminated with fatal doses of lead. The amount of lead ranged as high as 13% leading a few racist republicans to theorize the Chinese government is attempting to poison America.
Beijing has refused to comment on the actions of “American Citizens” who are in no way influenced by the Chinese government. Several restaurant owners were asked to comment, but none could do so in fluent English. Beijing did state that “the Chinese paint industry does not rely on lead,” but several lead mines have been located by our journalists through Google Earth. While China denies that they have the ability to purify Lead into food-grade dyes, the purchase of 17 centrifuges from Iran has prompted an international uproar. Our experts advise that if you suspect your food of being overly dense or sporting a suspicious metallic sheen, that you should avoid eating a full serving. “You can’t be too cautious when it comes to lead in your food” -Dr Angstrom H. Troubador

IGNORANCE FOR PRESIDENT

Two political candidates are fighting to be The One who gets your vote this November (that’s only a figure of speech, your votes aren’t actually counted).Of them, both are liars, and the third?What’s his name, Loser McCain (L), he wants war so nobody’s voting for him.If you don’t understand that, then look around you.We’re more at war with ourselves thanIraq.Iraq?TheIraq War?What a sham.

The whole point of it is to keepAmericain the throes of its State-Issued Nervous Breakdown of 2008, not too dissimilar from its counteraction to the Summer of Love forty years prior, except this time instead of Love there was Fear and nobody in particular is at the wheel of this negative driving force.

Of course, that means for you there is something like one hundred thousand reasons to hide from your own government because technology is being used against us as a means for control.The Feds don’t show up at your house for nothing, no they appear because they’ve been watching your activity.They know what you download and know more about what you upload, so watch yourself.Images, words, video, information, a war on knowledge itself is being waged against not only Americans but humanity and what is forbidden is a regional delicacy, much like snails in France and cats in China.It all tastes bitter, though.

Sometimes all I really want from you fuckers is the ability to piece together a reasoning thought, but you can’t really do that, can you?No, that’s why you voted for Bush the second time around—because you’re an unthinking peon of the servant masses who is so easily swayed by the messages mass media is shoving down your throats that maybe you think it tastes good to act in favor of what the “adults” are doing.Well, I’ve got news for you kids, bad fucking news (but what does that mean? Good news is news too, right? Yeah, get a grip you tool) and it’s about some shit you aren’t willing to understand; think about this election right now.Really think about what the candidates mean to you.What’s the difference in John McCain and Barack Obama, and why aren’t people making more jokes about these losers?Is it because the political machine has managed to elude even the highest form of humor?Is this the Bible Incarnate?Far from it, but it may still yet be a signal of the apocalypse, if you consider the implications of any of these political jokers and compare it to your own basis for reason, which may or may not hinge on the conditional truth of a Sunday Hour Fairy Tale, brought to you by the Southern Baptists and Pedophile Catholics.This just in, you’re a whore.

So what do they mean to us, Galloway?Enlighten your readers.Well, that choice is yours.Wal-Mart or K-Mart?Sheetz or the WaWa?Constriction, or the Illusion of Freedom?Forget the Republican.People are sick of the GOP.If he gets elected, well we can go ahead and prepare for the freezing over of the Old Testament realization of Hell and settle in for a long Nuclear Winter.Buy canned spinach.So now you have a choice between someone who’s going to baldly lie to your face because you expect a little “politicking” from your elected leader (that’s how you know they’re doing their damn jobs), or someone who is going to lead you down a dead-end path of contrived forced progressivism.The choice is yours.Most of you have already voted.My sources are telling me you voted as I knew you would, and for your own sake probably should, so at this point I can only offer my apologies on behalf of the system that has failed us all again.If I had anything to do with it, you can bet your ass I’d write a very loud-mouthed bill that would not even be considered for a legitimate proposal and subsequent vote before the House or Congress – but we all know that as an institution they too have failed us and the Executive, Legislative and Judicial branches are so out of whack that the poison is visibly oozing from them – internet porn rings, pedophilia, whorehouses, gay bathhouses – all part of the Washington Routine that you read about every week in the Post.But fuck pretending to be the president for your own crippled speculation. Oh, what the Hell, if I were president, I’d deactivate the nationally accredited police force and let the cannibals, thieves, dope fiends, degenerates, plane hijackers, murderers, rapists, junkies, and local state representatives pick your fucking bones clean because I despise you as a people, as a nation, as a fifty-year-old man sucking on his mother’s tits, because you’re a failure of an overweight Nation and you’re even a failure as a complacent people, and you’re a failure as a society, and you need to be brought down off that fucking high horse you’ve been trouncing around on since you discovered higher levels of consciousness behind the peel-off-and-win Burger King cup.

Getting back to my point:I loathe your existence.Your presence is poison.But here you’ll always be, populating this Fair Country, nodding in agreement to Dr. Phil and Judge Joe Brown, wishing more people were like Oprah, and guffawing at the atrocities CNN occasionally shows taking place in countries like Sudan and North Korea only to forget about it when your chunky butterball wife pulls another burned pot roast out of the oven in hopes that it makes your dick just hard enough to slide into her arid, sticky vagina long enough to deposit your Pepsi-ridden seed before falling flaccid at the sudden awareness of what you truly are in that orgasmic moment of painful, anus-itching realization that life, and indeed control over your life snuck away when you weren’t looking.

But either candidate can and indefinitely will ensure continuance of the aforementioned lifestyle.So go on.Fear and Ignorance is on the ticket. Vote for it.