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News

Shoenice commits suicide

Shoenice, the famous viral stunt-eating YouTube sensation, has died from ingesting a whole bag of rat poison in under 30 seconds. The video of his suicide has been removed from YouTube, but the footage above shows a manic fit posted just hours before the suicide video. A transcript of the suicide has already surfaced on Internet hacking site Pastebin.

“Hey everyone, Shoenice again. Well basically I’ve eaten everything you mofos ever requested except poison. So Shoenice is going to step up to the plate and show you he’s nobody’s fool. Shoenice has gotten more requests for poison than anything else in his entire career, so this better be the biggest video eveeeerrrr. A whole pack of rat poison in under 30 seconds. On your marks, get set, Shoenice! [inaudible] Tiiiiime. Thaaaaaaaaank You.”

How did this man degenerate from eating stunts to abuse of random strangers and finally himself? Maybe the so-called “fame” got to his head, and his ongoing “comedic” breakdown continually needed more supplement. Maybe not.

Few Hollywood comedies end tragically, but on the Internet and probably in real life this story plays out again and again. What starts as a joke becomes an all-consuming self-obsession. When this newfound “success” fails to appease the boundless fantasies of the crazed self-made “Internet Celebrity,” the compulsion for increasingly risky artistic statements trends towards disaster.

Seeking fulfillment from without by mind-controlling obsessed fanboys and masturbating to hit counts is a slippery slope with death crocodiles at the bottom.

Why do artists try to manipulate culture in their image? An artist is jealous, hateful, and vain. Oh, and won’t the artist hate me for saying that? Is art just a grievous self-inflicted wound? The subject can not be transformed into an object without fatality!

Freeplay, on the surface, does not look like this kind of fatal jealous art. Freeplay is seemingly without intention, without the masochistic impulse to be understood. The fatality here is only incidental; total indifference coexists with love and hate. The experience is beautiful. Either ego reaches a peak so high it is completely out of sight, or it is buried in the unconscious. Even still, the act of creation in Freeplay is a death, an unbecoming of the subject.

The danger of wild “misinterpretation” is a shackle to the artist no matter the mixture of conscious and unconscious intention. Look at that masochist suffer, never to be understood! The tragedy of meaning, laid bare. Is this what Shoenice is all about? Is this what all art is driving for? Do I hear him crying before he laughs?

Because all interpretations are “misinterpretations,” there is nothing left but an embrace of “misinterpretation.” Art is a dead part of the artist. Fingernail clippings. Thankfully there is no authority on meaning–just the tyranny of the stylish!

Dear Lonely God, let this man cry, and SPARE HIM THAT DESPERATE LAUGHTER.

Categories
News

Your Anonymous, Incorporated–First Decentralized, Leaderless Corporation

—PRESS RELEASE DEC 21, 2012—

From the office of the PROPHETIC viral Christmas Day (!) ANNOUNCER of Sabu’s status as an FBI informant and agent provocateur comes the NEXT BEST THING! 

Your (!) Anonymous Incorporated

YOUR ANONYMOUS INCORPORATED ANNOUNCES ITS FIRST INITIAL PUBLIC OFFERING, SURE TO ASTOUND TECH INVESTORS ALL ACROSS THE WORLD. WITH THE ADVANCE OF LEADERLESS COLLECTIVES AND CRYPTOGRAPHY, A NEW TECHNOLOGICAL UTOPIA IS AT HAND. UNLIKE THE TERRIBLE FAILURE OF FACEBOOK, THIS IPO WILL REAP MASSIVE PROFITS FOR ALL INVESTORS. WE RUN MEAN AND LEAN, BABY, AND KIDS DO OUR WORK FOR FREE BECAUSE IT’S “COOL.”

LISTEN TO THE HYPE! IT’S ALL TRUE!

All investors will be able to vote for the Corporation’s decisions using advances in range voting and group decision as provided free of charge by the German Pirate Party.

AND THAT’S NOT ALL!

Everyone who signs a statement alleging Faith and Allegiance to Anonymous ideals as set forth by Our Prophetic CEO, Yoda, will be entitled to free streaming of all torrents forever, as we have just purchased The Pirate Bay!

LICENSING!! MERCHANDISE!! MASKS!! ACTION FIGURES!!

Now that we have incorporated we can afford the rights to all our favorite imagery, and finally turn a real profit off of this trend! Invest now, and you’ll be ‘apart’ of something bigger. Something never before seen. Something that will most definitely lead to a NEW GOLDEN AGE OF PROSPERITY AND HEALTH FOR ALL OF HUMANITY!

IF CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE, THEN “ANONYMOUS” HAS JUST RECEIVED PERSONHOOD. ALL HAIL THE NEW AGE OF UTOPIAN HYPERCONSCIOUSNESS.

Categories
World

CHRONICLE.SU ON THE COUNTERATTACK

A spokesman for the Ministry of Current Affairs of the chronicle.su issued the following statement Wednesday:

U.S. agencies are assisting each other in a common goal: to commit politically-motivated cybercrimes against the chronicle.su.

United States FBI operatives asserted that the chronicle.su’s small arms deterrent for self-defense “threatens the world” while its intelligence agencies rattled off buzz words like “provocation” and “domestic terrorism.”

U.S. State Dept. officials, including Secretary of State Hillary Rodram Clinton, groundlessly slandered the chronicle.su on the basis of a variety of wild rumors about its situation without their own judgments distinguishing truth from lies. They are still pulling up chronicle.su on their computer screens in a tireless effort to install FBI backdoor trojan viruses like a bunch of script-kiddie n00bs, “for peaceful purposes” in a clumsy attempt to justify anti-Chronicle hostility.

A policy of hostility toward chronicle.su is a policy of total failure.

CHRONICLE LEADERSHIP IS UNMOVED BY U.S. AGGRESSION TOWARD INVINCIBLE WEBSITE
CHRONICLE LEADERSHIP IS UNMOVED BY RECKLESS U.S. AGGRESSION TOWARD INVINCIBLE WEBSITE.

The ignorant outbursts of U.S. authorities, prompted by their inveterate rejection and hostile intentions toward the ideology and social system chosen by the people of chronicle.su, clearly demonstrated Wednesday that the United States is undeserving of the tax benefits graciously bestowed unto them by the benevolent corporate executives of Lebal Drocer, Incorporated.

Moreover, the upswing in notable attacks against chronicle.su reflects a growing fear of the fact that admiration is growing stronger from people all across the world for the rosy future of chronicle.su led by the dear respected Raghubir Goyal, admired by the world whole. Also lurking behind shady aspirations is the black-hearted intention of U.S. authorities to calm down bitter denunciation and pressure from the international community, to the effect that it may soon become impossible to ensure the lasting peace and stability of their own territories as United States aggression spreads beyond their own manageability. The only solution henceforth is for the United States to drop its anachronistic policy of unwavering hostility toward the chronicle.su.

The U.S. claims that it has no hostile intentions toward the chronicle.su while malignantly slandering her. The hypocrisy, too, stretches to the point of transparency. The incoherent Sec. of State Hillary Clinton is fooling NO ONE.

While busy staging large-scale joint military-grade attacks on chronicle.su servers, one after another, the United States has provided small arms to our physical opponents known to inhabit our undisclosed vicinity.

It is the chronicle.su’s boldest option to counter United States aggression with bolstered arms trade, and the development of depleted Uranium for use in dirty bombs. In the interest of transparency, we have already procurred the necessary materials.

Now that the chronicle.su has powerful nuclear deterrent and strong munitions industry capable of steadily bolstering it, it is capable of spurring on the building of other great economic nuclear powers, undeterred by the U.S. policy of persistent hostilities.

The chronicle.su does not need any advice from others as it has strategy and orientation of its own style to develop the economy and improve the standard of people’s living and ways to carry them out efficiently.

It will surely build a thriving socialist nation while countering the U.S. hostile policy with its toughest policy, with everybody holding arms in one hand and a banner of industrial revolution in the new century in the other, laced with the blood of invincible tyrants.

CHRONICLE.SU FOREVER.