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“Supernormality” blamed for Germanwings murder-suicide

Families grasping for meaning after Germanwings attack "aren't happy" at new murder-suicide explanation
Families grasping for meaning after Germanwings attack “aren’t happy” at new murder-suicide explanation

GERMANY — Psychologist Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador of the Lebal Drocer Institute for community health came forward with a counter-intuitive explanation for the murder-suicide committed by Germanwings co-pilot Andreas Lubitz.

Dr. Troubador explained that mental illness is deviation from social norms, whereas the Germanwings atrocity was an ultimate confirmation of norms, saying, “Always in the case of mass murder-suicides, there is great confusion over perpetrators who are, on the one hand committing unreasonable and horrendously violent acts supposedly because of mental illness, but on the other often seem to show no signs of very abnormal sickness on close professional psychological examination. I am of the opinion that Andreas Lubitz and many others inhabit a supernormal identity as they commit the atrocities, which is the very opposite of a mental illness. It appears Lubitz was a closeted gay man, and that a recent trauma and breakup with a cover girlfriend spoiled his great efforts towards normality. This, and certainly other normal social pressures in the workplace, triggered the supernormal state in which many school shootings and other murder-suicide plots unfold — a psychological terrain that most contemporary psychology cannot distinguish from so-called sanity until the violence is already done.”

Dr. Troubador’s remarks caused uproar across a spectrum of health sciences, who read many implications into the theory. Dr. Cecilia Darwin explained, “Dr. Troubador diagnoses a sick society, a collective mind that violently detests itself and thinks sickness is a sign of wellness. It is clever, but what can we do with that? How does it help doctors save lives? Are there signs we should be looking for, or is it as undetectable as Dr. Troubador says? What is so controversial is how unhelpful it is.”

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Health

Important message from Dr. Dankstrom H. Troublememe

dankstrom-h-truememeWhat the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

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News

Chronicle.su to institute gay readership ban

Homoerotic politicsINTERNET – The Internet Chronicle is proud to announce we will disable access to the chronicle.su domain for all homosexual readers. This change goes into effect immediately.

Under a fresh new Indiana ruling, chronicle.su is no longer required to cater to the godless homosexual agenda. As a result of this important change, our expert staff of writers and editors will be running more stories about sports, videogames, literature and war.

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It’s about ethics in journalism journalism.

Dr. Angstrom T. Heterodauer

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All complaints should be registered in the comment fields below; however, be advised that if we detect homosexuality in your post, the comment will be deleted, your IP will be banned, and your voice silenced, forever.

Editor’s Note: Yes, we are losing money but you can’t put a price on religious freedom. As we like to say here at Lebal Drocer, “Freedom ain’t free.”