LONDON — Fans mourn the loss of Julian Assange, who was found dead in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London after suffering a burst bladder. Assange was known for “accidentally” publishing trillions of documents containing scandalous details of United States imperialist foreign policy without redaction. Authorities in London say he refused medical aid because he feared a “double-whammy execution extradition” to Sweden and then America, where he would face lethal injection for aiding and abetting terrorism.
Barack Obama held a press conference declaring victory over WikiLeaks and issued a stern warning to Ecuador. “Countries which harbor terrorists like Julian Assange are fair game for American drone strikes. Haven’t you read WikiLeaks lately?”
The last ragged remnants of Anonymous have banded together using the freedom software tool “Low Orbit Ion Cannon” to knock off the NSA supercomputer by overwhelming it with traffic. The NSA system feeds into a nuke-proof trillion terabyte hard drive underneath a mountain in the desert which will be able to store the entire traffic of the internet for the next hundred years.
18 replies on “Julian Assange Dead at 41”
OH EM GEE
julian assange died for your sins
Good!
I can’t help but feel that this was a victory for terrorism, both in the white house and abroad.
Fake
just a fucking fake!
The gov. Killed another one huh? Mike Hastings and now assange. Wake up people
Sad day for US All. Shame on All of US!! FOR DOING NOTHING TO HELP OUR HEROS, IE JESUS!!! WORTHLESS, WE ARE ALL WORTHLESS TODAY. I DO NOT WANT TO LIVE IN THIS COUNTRY ANY LONGER. MAKES ME ILL! SHEEP ARE WORTHLESS…WE’VE BECOME WORTHLESS.
SPOILED, FAT, LAZY, COLD AS ICE. HOW MANY MORE MUST DIE FOR OUR SINS? B-4 u wake up…
This news is fake, but nevertheless you’re 100% right. “Land of Safety” as advertised by government doesn’t have that ring to it as late “Land of Freedom” :(
It is a tragic end :(
I don’t believe it.
I know what it means every click here for you guys but don’t you think this is stupid be repeating a lie? The whole world know it’s not true.
he’s alive and well, a bit fatter and older and wanking himself silly in the Embassy
.. lol & what’s w/ the Asian bot, it’s workin’ over time like a dog
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Fake and not gay enough. Needs more glitter.
Totally fake news, as well we know now December 2017
It’s been 4 years.
Might wanna delete this.