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Robert Crumb dead at 71

Robert Crumb will be deeply missed by his gullible fans
Robert Crumb will be deeply missed by his gullible fans

FRANCE — Fans mourn the death of Robert Crumb, also known as R Crumb, who died suddenly Thursday from a rare exploded prostate. Crumb was known for his cartoon characters Fritz the Cat, Mr. Natural, and the album artwork on Janis Joplin’s Cheap Thrills.

Crumb ignited the Underground Comix movement in Haight-Asbury in the 60’s and was the subject of the documentary film Crumb. His iconic acid-inspired work has been entombed on the walls of museums everywhere and regularly fetches millions in major auctions.

Crumb’s vast fortune was disbursed to several charities, including the West Africa Ebola Foundation andthe Women’s Liberation Front. He was a lifetime fan of women with large legs, and his Devil Woman character inspired Queen’s hit single Fat Bottomed Girl. He was rumored to have had “easily one of the largest penises in the world.”

3 replies on “Robert Crumb dead at 71”

Billy, you can’t do this! You don’t bump guys! You’re not like those animals back there. It’s not right, Billy! They can’t make us do this. It’s the wrong situation, they can’t make us different people than we are. We’re not muscle, Billy. I… I… I… never killed anybody. I used a little information for a chisel, that’s all. It’s my nature, Billy! I… I… I… can’t help it, somebody gives me an angle, I play it. I don’t deserve to die for that. Do you think I do? I’m… I’m… I’m just a grifter, Billy. I’m… I’m… I’m… I’m… I’m an nobody! But I’ll tell you what, I never crossed a friend, Billy. I never killed anybody, I never crossed a friend, nor you, I’ll bet. We’re not like those animals! This is not us! Th… th… this is some hop dream! It’s a dream, Billy! I’m praying to you! I can’t die! I can’t die… out here in the woods, like a dumb animal! In the woods, LIKE A DUMB ANIMAL! Like a dumb animal! I can’t… I can’t… I CAN’T DIE OUT HERE IN THE WOODS!… like a dumb animal. I can’t… die! I’m praying to you! Look in your heart. I’m praying to you… look in your heart… look in your heart! You can’t kill me… look in your heart.

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