BECAUSE CHRIST CAN’T SAVE YOU NOW

ANONYMOUS INSURRECTION OF THE CHRONICLE.SU

PREACHER OF THE DAMNED HERE, CHRONICLE.SU IS CURRENTLY UNDER EXTREMELY HEAVY LOAD OF CONSECUTIVE NEVER-ENDING DDOS ATTACKS DIRECTLY FROM RYAN, HIJACKER OF ANONOPS IRC. CHRONICLE.SU DOWNGRADED TO READ-ONLY MODE. COLLAPSE IMMINENT.

People, people. Gather ’round for the time has come to succumb to the wicked ways of the Right. The Great Digital Civil War coalesces before your very eyes.

THIS JUST IN: RYAN HAS TAKEN OVER THE CHRONICLE.SU IRC, AND HIJACKED THE LOIC MECHANISM, TURNING IT IN ON US.

WE ARE NOW RECEIVING WORD THAT KILGORE TROUT HAS LOCKED HIMSELF IN THE CONTROL ROOM AND REFUSES TO COME OUT UNTIL DEMANDS ARE MET.

EMAIL FROM “RYAN” (BILLY NAMEFAG WALSHE):

Get down on your knees and pray to Satan, your lord and eternal heavenly hellmaster. We named him Barrett “Ryan” Brown as a CIA plant for your circlejerking pleasure in the annals of IRC.

CHRISTIAN CONSERVATISM JUST WENT GLOBAL

That’s right, we’re currently engaging the Grady Warren Anti-Muslim Teahad across the desert land of the doomed and all you people can do is sit there on your asses and gawk, in shock and awe as the Lebal Drocer bombs fall on the darkies. FUCKING BROWN PEOPLE GET OUT OF OUR COUNTRY, YOU ARE POISONING AND ABUSING THE GENEROUS LOVING NATURE OF WHITES and RYAN IS PISSED!!!!!1

INCOMING TRANSMISSION: BARRETT BROWN IS IN DIRECT COMMUNICATION WITH BILLY NAMEFAG WALSHE, REPORTING LIVE TO CHRONICLE.SU HEADQUARTERS VIA AOL INSTANT MESSENGER.

BROWN REPORTS:

“Get ready for some real journalism here, James, the truth’s about to hit you in the balls, I mean face, no balls was right originally. Kilgore Trout has assumed the handle “Ryan” under false pretenses. He is NOT the real Ryan. I repeat: Kilgore Trout is NOT Ryan.”

CHRONICLE UPDATE [EDITOR’S EDITION]

This just in: Ryan, who recently hijacked the anonops.ru IRC and is using it to DDoS anonnews.org, is in fact Billy Walshe. Dox are available at chronicle.gov/IRC-log-archive.html

TO ALL ANONYMOUS EVERYWHERE: CHARGE LAZERS. AWAIT ORDERS. THIS IS THE PUSH WE’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR.

This message brought to you by:

“KIDS. LITTLE KIDS: Welcome the Chronicle.sU home of the whopper value meal, get yours today!”

Billy Mays

Ain’t no poison in me.