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Edward Snowden conscripted into Russian cyber operations after speaking out against war in Ukraine

MOSCOW — Edward Snowden, the NSA whistleblower famous for revealing details of expansive domestic surveillance programs in the United States, has been conscripted by the Russian military. Currently, he is being forced at gunpoint to use his elite hacking abilities in spearheading cyberattacks on Ukraine. This follows Snowden’s final tweet, in which he broke the […]

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Obituaries

Edward Snowden Dead at 38

INTERNET — Fans mourn the loss of Edward Snowden, the NSA whistleblower who fled his post in Hawaii after revealing the facts of pervasive surveillance of American Citizens. Snowden was found dead from a cardiac arrest in his apartment outside of Kursk. He is survived by his wife, Lindsay, and his son Vladimir. Snowden had […]

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Donald Trump promises to pardon Snowden, Assange, and Manning

THE SWAMP — Sunday evening at a Republican fundraising dinner in Washington DC, Donald Trump promised to pardon Edward Snowden, Julian Assange, and Chelsea Manning. Speaking to the group of neoconservative elites, Trump said, “These are people who have done good things, heroic things for America. Heroes. Meanwhile the Mexicans are rewarded with citizenship for […]