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Obituaries

Edward Snowden Dead at 38

INTERNET — Fans mourn the loss of Edward Snowden, the NSA whistleblower who fled his post in Hawaii after revealing the facts of pervasive surveillance of American Citizens. Snowden was found dead from a cardiac arrest in his apartment outside of Kursk. He is survived by his wife, Lindsay, and his son Vladimir. Snowden had […]

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News

Donald Trump promises to pardon Snowden, Assange, and Manning

THE SWAMP — Sunday evening at a Republican fundraising dinner in Washington DC, Donald Trump promised to pardon Edward Snowden, Julian Assange, and Chelsea Manning. Speaking to the group of neoconservative elites, Trump said, “These are people who have done good things, heroic things for America. Heroes. Meanwhile the Mexicans are rewarded with citizenship for […]

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News

In wake of Paris Attacks, Edward Snowden Returns to the United States

INTERNET — Friday evening, eyewitnesses at San Francisco International Airport tweeted in astonishment as a SWAT team boarded an Aeroflot passenger jet from Russia as it was still rolling in on the tarmac. Edward Snowden was extracted in handcuffs as the jet ground to a halt. Snowden mysteriously disappeared from social media site Twitter after […]