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World

Lebal Drocer, Inc. promises to stop whipping slaves in factories by 2024

DHAKA, Bangladesh — Atop a smelly pit, where tired women toil within dangerous textile machinery, armed foremen in mirror-visored helmets patrol a catwalk, overlooking the commotion and mire. All are contracted by the equally faceless conglomerate Lebal Drocer International. It is a normal Wednesday on the South Asian Padma Delta, which fell under corporate control […]

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Health

Lebal Drocer vaccine will contain trace amounts of narcotics

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an effort to get more Americans vaccinated faster, the Biden administration announced Dr. Fauci’s assessment that it is not enough simply to promise citizens an escape from the coronavirus nightmare. That is why President Joe Biden’s CDC has partnered with Lebal Drocer Pharmaceuticals to develop the Lebal Drocerna™ OXYVAX True Miracle® […]

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Special Interest

Idealize, Devalue, Discard: The Lebal Drocer Promise

At Lebal Drocer, Incorporated, our company’s mission statement is to Fuck You Up! That is why, through a manipulative ad series and domineering social media presence, we have committed ourselves to chipping away at your self-worth, little by little, in a cyclical pattern over many months, to however many years. We lost count. You lost […]