Author: Kilgoar

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World

Coca Cola says “Share a Coke with the Islamic State”

Coca Cola disseminated this piece of viral marketing along with a message of peace for the Islamic State.
If you can't find someone named Govert, there's always Isis.

BAGHDAD—Coca Cola issued its most provocative political message yet in a piece of viral marketing featuring a Coke labeled “Share a Coke with ISIS.”

Coca Cola disseminated this piece of viral marketing along with a message of peace for the Islamic State.

Coca Cola’s marketing director Jen Stamois said, “We aren’t endorsing terrorism or condemning the latest campaign to suppress the Islamic State. We simply want to share a Coke with ISIS because we think there’s always a chance for peace and goodwill towards all religions, if only for the few minutes we take every day to drink a refreshing Coke.”

Peace Activists, however, understood the advertising campaign as a message against the latest conflagration of Islamophobia and its purpose for the Military Industrial Complex.

Others, such as commenters on NPR’s Planet Money, instead calculated just how many smart bombs it will take to make a worthwhile return for defense investors.

However, Coke’s campaign to share their beverage with the Islamic State is not without boots on the ground. Armored convoys, provided by the private defense contractors at Blackwater (Academi) are distributing Coke and dodging IEDs in parts of Syria and Iraq taken by ISIS.

One convoy arrived at Mount Sinjar Sunday morning, providing the starving Yazidis with an endless stream of cheap Coca Cola.

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Categories
Reviews

Miley Cyrus enjoys groping of fans in latest performance

Miley Cyrus let fans grope her vaginal and anal areas, Thursday night in a performance in Atlanta.

ATLANTA—On stage Thursday night in Atlanta, Miley Cyrus let fans stroke gently at her vagina with only a thin layer of tight, sequinned cloth between their grasping fingers and her smooth labia. Authorities fined her tour company for this obscene display, but concerned mothers’ groups are outraged as the fine only amounted to $1,200.

Jenny Ronaldo, spokesperson for Concerned Christian Mothers, a sexual prudence organization, told reporters, “Maybe that’s an acceptable fine for strip clubs, as it keeps their shows from degrading into outright public whoring, but it does nothing to stop someone like Miley. $1200 is just not enough to keep her from doing this disgusting and obscene type of exhibition again and again.”

Earlier this year, Miley’s performance at the MTV Video Music Awards was met with controversy as she introduced suburbia to the urban dance known as twerking. Twerking is a dance where women present their anus and vagina, as if for penetration, while the fleshy parts of the legs are made to jiggle enticingly.

Millions of teenage girls brought twerking to their school dances, causing thousands of complaints and triggering concerns among parents all over the nation. Already, at least three school districts have issued warnings to students who, on Friday morning, emulated Miley’s on stage vaginal petting, causing massive disruptions in learning and at least one release of dangerous bodily fluids.

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Categories
Politics Uncontrollable Patriotism

Scotland’s failed bid for independence defrauded by Illuminati

INTERNET—Friday, Scotland lost its bid for independence as a majority of the country allegedly voted ‘No’ to independence. Analysts were astounded as social media clearly showed a strong preference for ‘Yes’ votes. In addition, photographs clearly displaying rampant voting fraud were circulated widely across the globe. Some reported that police stormed into a polling station and seized many handfuls of ballots.

The evidence of the fraud was not even hidden but rubbed in our faces, and this fits the exact behavior profile of the global elites. No matter if you call them the Illuminati, the Bilderbergers, Bohemian Grove, or the UN, the last thing they want happening is smaller empires.

They want everything bigger, and in Scotland people tried to resist. As always, the elites are laughing in our faces. Their global empire won’t be stopped by something as easily corrupted as democracy.