Barrett Brown has been publicly criticizing Assange, who then got butthurt and took away his money.
Barrett Brown cussed that old Julian Assange for the last time. He cussed him bad enough, and a lady from the Courage Foundation wrote Barrett to notify him they were pulling his whistleblower aide.
After cutting ties to Barrett Brown, the Courage Foundation redirected funding to finance a lifetime lease on Julian Assange’s embassy hotel room, which would have run out soon without that money.
The money has been placed in a secondary fund, the Lebal Drocer Valor Foundation, to commemorate Assange’s bravery in Brown’s historic removal.
With Brown out of the way, Assange can resume carrying out transparency against his enemies.
The Valor Foundation: A New Dawn
Assange, no longer threatened by the imminence of the Pursuance Project, will sleep soundly tonight…if he can ignore the scratching sounds of Barrett carefully picking apart the floorboards, and crumbing for representation.
It was not all that long ago that fire and wildlife meant everything to mankind. And just because we’re not into that boring shit anymore doesn’t mean we can’t still pretend to appreciate 35,000-year-old cave paintings in this news article.
Reddit users were given first glimpse of the cave paintings, which were quickly downvoted off the front page before they could bore anyone else.
Before seamless.com all humans sustained themselves through hunting, fishing or gathering (get a phone, Cro-Magnons!), according to Dr. Mann Lee Troubadox of the Lebal Drocer Institute for Cellular Data Technology. Troubadox, with his team of nameless indigenous children, recently discovered a swathe of cave paintings that revealed just how boring life was before the newly-refined iPhone X.
“We listened to consumers and wish to assure you the new features contained in the iPhone X Plus will piss on Samsung’s barbaric emoji keyboard, as Calvin would defiantly piss upon a Ford icon or – if you’re a Jeff Gordon fan – a Chevrolet bow-tie,” Troubadox said. “My team attempted to downvote every painting on the cave walls, whether it was for a lack of attention to important details, or the artist failed to capture the aesthetic that a Snapchat filter might’ve offered – or for other reasons – like if the painting was offensive, off-topic, or painted in the wrong sub-cave.”
While the Android world is making strides every day in camera technology, it took hundreds of thousands of years for cave paintings to move away from uninteresting tales about hunter/gatherer lifestyle, and into cool shit like marking the sudden appearances of supernovae: star explosions that were once inaccurately attributed to God, before woke cave painters like Banksy could hear Carl Sagan auto-tuned.
Even a star exploding in the daytime sky looks boring when painted on a dank cave interior. Pics or it didn’t happen!
Though we are likely two months out from seeing the next iPhone, Troubadox and his team are working tirelessly to scan and publish cave paintings, as if they are even remotely worth looking at when there’s so much cool stuff happening right now on Instagram.
“Instagram pictures aren’t just square, anymore. The introduction of rectangles to the platform has revolutionized the way people share,” Troubadox said. “We hope to recreate some of these paintings for upload to Instagram where they can be dismissed with the same apathy as the uninspired, insipid, low-resolution shit already on there. We want these cave paintings treated like pictures of your slutty friends and stuff. Jerk off to them, and move on.”
“Did you see that guy do a sick loop in his stolen commercial airliner before committing suicide?” writes a reddit user. “Press F to pay respects.”
The caves, after being documented, will be demolished to make way for a planned 2021 extension to the Short Pump Mall in Richmond, Virginia.
Dr. Angstrom Troubadour operates a Fake News Camp where children learn discipline, and respect. But he could not do nothing for my two boys.
Troubadour is accused of amassing a child army.
Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour is being detained in a mobile diesel therapy unit en route to Cuthbert, Georgia in the Southeastern US, after documents tied him to a Lebal Drocer executive responsible for the stillborn deaths of hundreds of thousands of children in South Carolina, and who is sought in connection with an illegal “Fake News Bootcamp” where children are taught to write dangerous forms of Internet satire.
Georgia state authorities are seeking to question a prominent hate speech historian, Raleigh T. Sakers, who they suspect trained dozens of malnourished children to commit mass disinformation campaigns in their communities.
In addition to the defamed Lebal Drocer University professor Dr. Troubadour, recently released court documents accuse Sakers, the mysterious corporate executive behind the Lebal Drocer Uranium Waste Spill of 2011, of training children whose ages range from 16, all the way down to toddlers, to write lies, fabrications, and publish fake news under the guise of satire.
The purpose: To inflict harm by unleashing unrest, laughter, and disinformation upon the masses
Since the spring semester of Fake News For Fuck-Ups, Sakers’ students have come away jaded, sardonic, and world weary. Ready to attack our clean civilization.
“May you proceed into the world holding a mirror up to society. And may your mirror be concave, harness the power of the sun, and melt down your enemies with a fiery stare.”
Sakers, who is also accused of exploiting the poor and disenfranchised for personal gain, has absolved himself of all guilt.
But them Georgia boys was watchin’
Children are underfed and sent to bed without dinner, unless they write something funny. At a website where ‘mistruths are punished by mutilation or death,’ the kids walk a high wire between impressing their editors, and offending them with tepid trash.
Cuthbert Sheriff Richard Petty said, “We had learned the occupants were most likely heavily armed and considered satirical extremists.”
The court papers show that Sakers, author of the self-help series “Transcendental Man,” is heir to the Lebal Drocer fortune, and hates fake news, as well as the so-called real news.
Georgia police executed a search warrant for Sakers and his estate after video surfaced of kids crying to be fed, while being forced to type on outdated computers in a hot crawlspace between two trailers.
