First things first, Kilgore Trout is a heartless piece of shit for talking about Andrew Breitbart like that. His family is grieving right now, so don’t even @ tweets his way, alright dude? We are grieving and don’t need that shit.

Nextly, you need to keep your nose out of other people’s problems. You want to satiate your voyeuristic pleasures, open up People magazine. There’s plenty to jerk off to in there. Or Facebook.

Secondarily, Trout is now a member of the establishment. Everybody point and laugh! WOULD YOU LIKE A DONATION, SIR, TO YOUR CULT!? He has become an ordained state sanctioned child rapist, and what’s more is he thinks he can get away with it without the use of cocaine as an incentive. Everybody knows cocaine is the world’s finest catalyst to mouthrape. Rape isn’t funny, Trout. But if you’re going to joke about it, at least try it first.

“Making fun of rape victims is not funny in any way shape or form.”

John Tiessen, rapist

How low is Kilgore Trout? Kilgore’s so low, Barrett Brown comes to him looking for a fix.

But it goes lower. Kilgore Trout has no respect for women; ZERO. I once saw him get a girl’s phone number just to throw it in the fire and then he asked her to leave the party. But before she could go, he still demanded sex from her “just to make you feel better, baby.” Some gentleman! It’s just despicable. And let’s not get into the date rape. This is a family site.

And another thing: Kilgore Trout is anti-family. He uses chronicle.su to peddle his “pro-choice” agenda as if women know what’s best for them. They need to be protected from evil and learn to accept life as God’s precious gift of love to us all; because a woman’s first instinct is to hurt herself and deprive our world of future lawyers and politicians – in a fit of sin – and that’s why men are in charge of these decisions. Kilgore doesn’t seem to get that, so he must be anti-woman as well. Why don’t you grow a fucking soul, sir? That way the Devil will have something to roast in Hell.

So far, what I’ve written here are merely affronts to Trout’s character. But you may or may not be shocked to learn that as recently as Friday morning, Trout logged in to the chronicle.su cPanel and attempted, fruitlessly, to corrupt all database entries referencing Reverend Magdalen, his fake internet girlfriend with whom he is deeply in love and hoped to protect from “slanderous activity” regarding her sexual identity. Trout allegedly tried to install trojan.exe on Chronicle servers but failed after he realized chronicle.su operates using CentOS, a free and open source Communist software solution that hates your freedom and serves up a mean dose of truth quietly from behind enemy lines.

Stay tuned for more personal attacks on your favorite Chronicle authors.

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