INTERNET—Kony, terrorist commander of Africa’s child army, has teamed up with weapons technicians from Boko Haram to construct what has been called a “dirty” Ebola bomb.

Rather than weaponizing the deadly virus through genetic modification and lab cultivation, Kony’s child troops have been sent on a suicide mission into the heart of the Ebola outbreak to collect thousands of corpses for construction of the dirty bomb.

Biological weapons expert Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador said, “If the bodies were pulverized, the liquid pressurized and detonated or dispersed with compressed air over urban areas, that kind of a dirty bomb could kill thousands, or potentially millions of Americans.

The technology to do this is available at any hardware store or airfield across the planet. It’s a 9/11 like scenario where the imagination of the terrorists turns peaceful technology into an unforeseen sophisticated weapon of mass destruction.”

Already, Americans around the country have been advised to huddle in their homes and tape over their windows with plastic sheeting to seal out the Ebola vapors that could descend at any minute.

However, Dr. Cecilia Darwin of the CDC said:

“Ebola can only effect Africans, and when it infects a European or Asian person the effects are never fatal. It’s long been known that Ebola was created in a weapons program where diseases were created to target certain haplogroups, and it’s my understanding that only African Americans should worry about the impending Ebola bombs.”