An emergency escape helicopter approaches the White House Friday morning as militias assemble at the gates
INTERNET — President Obama and staff fled to a secret location Friday afternoon utilizing escape tunnels and helicopters as armed American Spring militia men surrounded the White House.
American Spring militias now Occupy the White House and plan to hold a press conference within the hour, at which point analyst Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador expects documents will be handed over to Congress demanding an end to Obamacare and massive revisions of the constitution.
Troubador speculated on possible outcomes of the new government and which leaders might rise to power, saying, “Jamie Jo Corne will likely worm her way into power, somehow, even if it takes decades of calculation and deception. Sure, she may not be a big name in the American Spring movement at the moment, but that’s to her advantage in the long run. Until then, she’ll continue to suckle at General Lee’s side, exercising her influence through him and swaying him more and more towards her racist agenda of deportation and holocaust.”
A mob of civil rights activists could change the way a bill becomes law Friday by repetitively chanting slogans.
If enough protesters chant “Nobama,” a key piece of legislation is likely to bypass Congressional oversight to become the first law in American history to be introduced by mob rule.
The Washington Bull Party will combine hateful Tea Party slogans with stubborn resolve to collapse the free market and shut down American ports, Bull Party Leader Jamie Jo Corne said in a YouTube video.
“I’m going to Washington, and I’m going to fuckin’ throw my sign in their FACE,” Corne said. “I want them fuckin’ ports closed down. You wanna hurt ’em? Go for their god damn jugular. Don’t bitch kick ’em.”
Corne accused viewers of being “pussified non-Americans” and said they are just as bad as those illegal immigrants taking over the United States, raping citizens.
Also called the “American Spring,” event planners said the demonstration is going to be a real barn-burner. If laws change at the whim of mob rule, then America will take one giant leap toward a greater Democracy.
INTERNET — Metamodernism is an ism. Ism’s are important, as they help us define our daily behaviors, creations and artistic expressions. Yep, they’re importante. Why though, you don’t ask? Well, I’ll tell you: we have a need to classify and quantify our emotions and creative endeavors into a ‘sandbox’. This ‘sandbox’ can be escaped, yet we have to forget all notions of ism’s. Lofty feat, most say.
Esteemed colleague and fellow Internet Chronicle writer espouses his theory of ism’s to me via Google Chats. I’m too lazy to post the whole log because I’m prescribing to a certain ism at the moment, but essentially his basic viewpoint was “Make something, call it art, label it a part of an ism, nice shiny business suit” — fuck, sorry Kilgoar, I totally botched that quote, but hey man, great coat-jacket.
If this isn’t a trademarked ideological symbol yet, let’s get ON that shit!
Screen left – Enter psychedelia – Yes hello, psychedelics here, we’ve heard of your oscillations and we’d like to confirm and deny your general thesis. Although, Shia Labeouf is right on the money… fuck I love money… anyway, ONWARD!
We want to know metamoderinism. I need it in my life, much like I need the Lord Jesus Christ, amen. I do believe they are one in the same. The oscillations of metamoderinism are simply vibrations, which is a theory as old as some fucking philosopher. We vibrate at a certain frequency, this is true. Some call it the “Vibration of Life”, those people are faggots and are most definitely Phish fans. This metamodern oscillation theory, however, produces many a stout question we must ask ourselves: “Are we truly this awesome?”
The answer is still yet to be determined, but after consulting Internet experts at the archive.org’s way-back machine pages of the fark message board, we can only begin to grasp the origins of metamodernist culture. Within these hallowed halls of truly lulzy past, reveal a dark underbelly — if not an intentional plot– to thrust the metmodernist meme upon a youth already devoid of post-modernism, a scene without a label… perhaps better left that way.
NAY! There’s no time for pussy-footin’ round these times when it comes to art! Qualify and quantify, stick it in your local sink-hole of a DYI venue and make sure to make fliers — pamphlets even — because that worked before, but this will work better[reasons]. As fledgling psych, philosophy and English makers we had to take it a step further to truly understand the chaos, the oscillations, the correction of errors due.
