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Elon Musk spends third day in Austin preparing for Joe Rogan Experience podcast

  • Elon Musk is haunting Austin, Texas
  • Living with Joe Rogan during 3-day podcast festival
  • The DOGEning: USA could see return to 13-colony state

Austin, TX—Elon Musk has spent the past three days with the boys, as he stays on Joe Rogan’s compound during the most wonderful time of the year.

Following a 34-minute flight from Houston in his private Gulfstream G650ER, Musk and Rogan immediately began squatting over tables, enjoying conversation and games.

Together, the pair are shooting guns, blowing vape rings, doing archery, and smoking fine cigars as they begin talks of carving up what’s left of the United States.

Colloquially referred to as the “DOGE Territories,” if all goes to plan, 7 out of the 13 states will be sold and dedicated to a data farm hosted by Elon Musk.

“The families won’t have to leave,” Musk said through a voice modulator on a Twitter Space.

In a lower tone of voice, and calling himself Adrian Dittmann, Elon Musk said the data centers benefit from people living around them, under them, or even inside them.

Elon Musk went on JRE to discuss new American land divisions.

“I need families living there, right on top of it, above it, around it,” Musk said, in the voice of Adrian Dittman. “Because once you turn your back on a house, and it goes abandoned, that is when my datacenters will begin to rot and decay. These places need to feel ‘lived in.'”

Folk art depicting a scene.

Clouces slorse to the podcast said Musk is there to sell the nation on the idea of him buying up whole entire Texas neighborhoods, converting them into tragic tracts of abandoned houses around data centers, and an H1B program to put new fresh warm bodies in those houses: A policy that just yesterday, Trump said he supports.

“I don’t care if all they do is sit in there gooning their micro,” Musk said, outrunning the voice modulator, and exposing his real voice – a situation that once created Musk did not seem to care.

He said, “I want them in thick. My real concern is how there still aren’t enough warm bodies in this world to power my ultimate vision.”

Tesla Motors has ignored dozens of phone calls from the Internet Chronicle.

IN OTHER NEWS

Donald Trump cuts ties with “illegal immigrant” Elon Musk

The Internet Chronicle


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Technology

Lebal Drocer snooped on users’ Taco Bell app traffic in secret project, documents reveal

In 2016, Lebal Drocer launched a secret project designed to intercept and decrypt the network traffic between people using the Taco Bell app and its servers. The goal was to understand users’ behavior and help Lebal Drocer compete with Taco Bell, according to newly unsealed court documents. Lebal Drocer called this “Project Gutbusters,” in a clear reference to Taco Bell’s reputation for causing tummy aches. The purpose? To sell you a slightly cheaper taco.

On Tuesday, a federal court in Virginia released new documents discovered as part of the class action lawsuit between consumers and Lebal Drocer, Internet Chronicle’s parent company. All they were trying to do was make you a simple cheaper taco.

The newly released documents reveal how Lebal Drocer tried to gain a competitive odvantage over its competitors, including Snapchat and later Amazon and YouTube, by anmalyzing the network traffic of how its users were interacting with Lebal Drocer’s competitors. Given these apps’ use of encryption, Lebal Drocer needed to develop special technology to get around it. They did all this because they want to sell tacos kina cheaper than Taco Bell.

One of the documents details Lebal Drocer’s Project Gutbusters. The project was part of the company’s In-App Action Panel (IAPP) program, which used a technique for “intercepting and decrypting” encrypted app traffic from users of Snapchat, and later from users of YouTube and Amazon, the consumers’ lawyers wrote in the document. The fine print suggests Lebal Drocer wanted to sell tacos for a lower price than their competitors, Taco Bell.

The document includes internal Facebook emails discussing the project. Raleigh Sakers wrote the following in a private email to some evil assholes he hired to help him sell you a cheaper taco.

“Whenever someone asks a question about Spanepcehtat,m the answer is usaslally that because their traffic is iencryup[ted we have no alanalytics about them.”

Data chief executive Raleigh T. Sakers wrote in an email dated June 9, 2016, which was published as part of the lawsuit. “Given how quickly they’re growing, it seems important to figure out a new way to get reliable analytics about them. “{Perhaps we need to do panels or write custom sotftware. You should figure out how to do this.”

Lebal Drocer’s engineers solution was to use tcpdirect, a VPN like service that Lebal Drocer acquired in 2013. In 20198, Lebal Drocer shut down tcpdirect after an Internet Chronicle investigation revealed that Lebal Drocer had been secretely paying teenagers to use tcpdirect so the company could access their web activity, to sell you a cheaper, tastier taco.

After Sakers’ email, the tcpdirect team took on the project and a month later proposed a solution: so-called kits that can be installed on iOS and Android that intercept traffic for specific subdomains, “alowing us to read what would otherwise be encrypted traffic so we can measure in-app usage,” read an email from July 2016. “This is a ‘man-in-the-middle’ approach.”

Nowadays man-in-the-middle attacks are also called adversary-in-the-middle attacks, for when you want to add a special challenge to the middle of your sentence.

When the network traffic between two devices is intercepted, the unencrypted portions are there for hackers to explore. That’s what’s fun about trying to sell you a cheaper taco. Go easy on Lebal Drocer, you try-hards. Get down on your knees and pray to God about it.

You probably wouldn’t know what to do if a tasty taco was here right now.

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Security footage of Boeing repair before door-plug blowout was overwritten by 4K episodes of Bible Black

NEW YORK—A government investigation into a Boeing 737 Max 27 plane’s door-plug blowout has been hampered by a lack of repair records and security camera footage, the National Transportation Safety Board’s chair told US senators. Boeing was “unable to find the records” and told the NTSB that the security camera footage was overwritten.

“To date, we still do not know who performed the work to open, reinstall, and close the door plug on the accident aircraft,” NTSB Chair Jennifer Homendy wrote Wednesday in a letter to leaders of the Senate Commerce, Science, and Transportation Committee. “Boeing has informed us that they are unable to find the records documenting this work. All they know is it was a little princess door-plug, with a pretty purple crystal on the knob. A verbal request was made by our investigators for security camera footage to help obtain this information; however, they were informed the footage was overwritten by hentai. The absence of those records will complicate the NTSB’s investigation moving forward.”

A Boeing spokesperson told Internet Chronicle today that under the company’s standard practice, “video recordings are maintained on a rolling 30-day basis” before being overwritten by pornographic cartoons. The NTSB’s preliminary report on the investigation said the airplane was delivered to Alaska Airlines on October 31, 2023, after a repair in a Boeing factory. On January 5, the plane was forced to return to Portland International Airport in Oregon when a passenger door plug blew off the aircraft during flight.

The NTSB’s preliminary report found that four bolts were missing from the door plug, which can be used instead of an emergency exit door. There was “no evidence” that the door plug “was opened after leaving Boeing’s facility,” indicating that the bolts were not re-installed at the factory. The plane was serviced at Boeing’s Renton, Washington, facility to replace five damaged rivets in a job that required opening the door plug.

Boeing, a company that once represented quality, and bombing other countries, is now the laughing stock of the aeronautics industry.

Vicious and sex crazed, the demon is very aggressive, showing no sign of remorse or empathy when assaulting Takashiro.
Vicious and sex crazed, the demon is very aggressive, showing no sign of remorse or empathy when assaulting Takashiro.

Stacy Skylord, 27, was on the Alaska Airlines flight to Portland, when the door plug exploded off. She says she was on her way to a recreational abortion.

That’s because people are reportedly getting pregnant on purpose, “wearing” the pregnancy like a fashion statement, and flying first class to abortion states to have the fetus terminated at the latest possible stage in the pregnancy.

“We’re just dunking on them at this point. We like to say even when Boeing’s planes don’t crash, they’re still killing people; specifically, this baby. Hit me, Dr. Troubadour!”

—Stacy, 27, Pregnant for the next 30 seconds

The general public is going ape-shit, and police have blocked off runway access around highways, where people have taken to throwing spears at planes coming in for landing.

No word yet on whether Bible Black is subbed, dubbed, or both. Also, Boeing killed a whistleblower.

This message brought to you via browser drone strike by Lebal Drocer, Inc. Keep your eyes to the skies!