Barrett Brown has been publicly criticizing Assange, who then got butthurt and took away his money.
Barrett Brown cussed that old Julian Assange for the last time. He cussed him bad enough, and a lady from the Courage Foundation wrote Barrett to notify him they were pulling his whistleblower aide.
After cutting ties to Barrett Brown, the Courage Foundation redirected funding to finance a lifetime lease on Julian Assange’s embassy hotel room, which would have run out soon without that money.
The money has been placed in a secondary fund, the Lebal Drocer Valor Foundation, to commemorate Assange’s bravery in Brown’s historic removal.
With Brown out of the way, Assange can resume carrying out transparency against his enemies.
The Valor Foundation: A New Dawn
Assange, no longer threatened by the imminence of the Pursuance Project, will sleep soundly tonight…if he can ignore the scratching sounds of Barrett carefully picking apart the floorboards, and crumbing for representation.
INTERNET–The Internet Chronicle’s unofficial motto has long been the simple phrase “The only news that matters.” But that’s over, according to the code of conduct that chronicle.su distributes to its employees. The phrase was added sometime in late Rocktober, or early Rocktember, archives hosted by the Wayback Machine show.
Some find the winky-face emoticon unsettling, but chicks are into it.
[pullquote]The lack of any reference to Evil has been deeply incorporated into Internet Chronicle’s overall lack of cultural responsibility.[/pullquote]”Don’t be evil” was never part of the company’s corporate code of conduct before now, even under an older name. When The Elf Wax Times was reorganized under a new parent company in 2010, the Real News site became The Internet Chronicle, and assumed a slightly adjusted exclusion of the motto, “Try not to be evil.”
Unfortunately, without any context or acknowledgment that “Don’t be evil” was missing from the website, it was difficult to remember a time when other versions of the motto also did not exist. However, chronicle.su retained its original “Be evil” implications until the past several days, or something like that. You don’t want to know what we were doing.
“It makes your hair stand up.”
–Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour, Doctor of Astrology, Lebal Drocer University
The lack of any phrase referencing Evil has been deeply incorporated into Internet Chronicle’s abject lack of cultural responsibility–so much so that a version of the phrase has served as the wifi password on the three-plank canoes that ferry Chronicle writers over a canal of stagnant pollution, and into the fortified publishing complex located in a rural zone of Cuthbert, Georgia.
Internet Chronicle North American headquarters (with rear-facing canal access)
Readers became suspicious. When they felt that because there was no outfacing motto instructing writers not to be evil, the assumption was chronicle.su might be doing evil things. They were right.
Despite this significant change, chronicle.su’s code of conduct still retains one reference to the company’s unofficial motto–the final line of the document reads: “Don’t Be Evil ;)”
“The winky face soothes and reassures audiences who need that sort of thing,” LD University professor Dr. Troubadour said. “And the words are there for people who believe words.”
This is a reminder Internet Chronicle is the BEST and ONLY source of Real News Journalism this side of the Mississippi River, and especially in the Roanoke Valley.
What made CHRONICLE.SU the BEST and helps us continue to lead the Real News Industry?
Our reporters call to let us know if they’re going to be home after midnight.
They’re good boys, after all.
[pullquote]The Flintstones were so advanced, they figured out how to use dinosaurs as appliances.[/pullquote]As Alfonzo Hatesec once said, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! Which means DON’T rub your winky against the windows of sexy neighborhood ladies.”
That’s the only one time I ever got to see her face. You understand. When you’re looking at someone and you realize they don’t have any personality? They don’t have any soul? That is because they don’t have any flow or access to their ‘flow state.’ And neither do you! That’s because you never transcended!
-Raleigh T. Sakers, CEO of Lebal Drocer, Inc.
A human being is said to be in a flow state while creating music or technical works on an apparently autonomous beat rhythm in lock-step with their own creative background radiation. It is an experience of being a conduit between our thought realms and the senses.
Experience TERROR in a new and improved flow state!
At Internet Chronicle, drug use is punishable by mutilation or death, and employees (including marketing executives) are subject to cruelty. But that doesn’t mean YOU can’t benefit from such mind altering substances as TerrorMax, TerrorMax PM, and Extra Strength TerrorMax.
And for the next level consumer, there is no greater Terror available to mankind than TerrorPeudic for Adults.
COMING SOON: Lebal Drocer Permaflight to compete against Amazon Prime Terror Delivery Service
In recognition of its greatness, Lebal Drocer, Inc. is pleased to present Internet Chronicle (CHRONICLE.SU) with an Internet Achievement Award. This award grants CHRONICLE.SU permission to impregnate and abort readers at will.
Media Mogul could not be reached for comment, but some asshole smoking a cigarette outside was available for comment. And this fucker had the nerve to ask not to be named. It is with great pleasure we present to you, the idiot masses, the following:
In this CHRONICLE exclusive, Vice presents: Irony Boys: We talked to a Lebal Drocer executive, and this is what he said.
“When you agreed to sign into our website you entered into a Blood Contract, which entitles us to fertility rites in Raleigh’s honor.” Media Mogul, in a secret cabinet memo, leaked to Vice Media, Media Mogul Enterprises.
“I am the God Child.”
Media Mogul
Rupert Murdoch
Dr. Angstrom Asche Téreblange is the leading Lebal Drocer attorney assigned to defending river ruining toxic dumpages, and covering it up through money to the Roanoke Times. He is a devout Christian, and will soon be resigning to spend more time with his family.
Téreblange says in his dating profile bio:
“I am a terrorist at heart, freedom fighter by nature. You’ll soon regret crossing me!”
The Internet Chronicle has brought you MANY fine products, including Prescription Strength TerrorBloc, the ONLY terror supplement endorsed by a sitting Virginia state governor!
BY GOD YOU’LL LOVE OUR PRODUCTS.
[pullquote]
“I swear to God.”
Raleigh T. Sakers, Chronicle founder, TerrorMax enthusiast, and Chief Enthologean of Lebal Drocer Pharmaceuticals
[/pullquote]
This message is brought to you PROUDLY by Lebal Drocer, Inc.
Turning human beings BACK into PROPERTY since 1996!
“It makes your hair stand up.”
