INTERNET — Chris Doyon AKA Commander X of the infamous hacker group Anonymous announced Thursday that Anonymous will be moving forward with plans to develop a military grade AI neural network dubbed Allison, its computation crowdsourced using a technology called OpenGrid. The public will be able to donate their computation to the project by downloading an app much like SETI at home.
Commander X first became a famed name in hacktivism after deploying botnets — tens of thousands of computers hijacked by a virus — in denial of service attacks on municipal government websites. Anonymous script kiddies, or low-rank hackers, told the media that these debilitating attacks were a kind of civil disobedience and protest, likening a piece of spamming software known as Low Orbit Ion Cannon to a virtual sit in. It was years before Commander X confessed to a shocked world that these sit-ins could have had no effect without the use of his network of virus-infected computers, making protesters unknowing accomplices in the harming of innocent collateral parties.
Barrett Brown, leader of Anonymous, spoke with the Internet Chronicle from his mobile prison on the highways of Texas, “Yeah X always keeps huge botnets. Fucking Faggot. Fuck Commander Adama. I wouldn’t donate half a CPU cycle to mine AnonCoins for X’s defense, much less lag my shit for some algorithm girlfriend named Allison. Also while I’m at it Fuck Biella Coleman, that libeler. I didn’t set myself up, god dammit, the bastards had me in their web. They do have an AI, and they used it on me, but more about that later. Someone does need to counter them, but it’ll probably be China.”