NEW YORK — Former President Donald Erdogan Trump and wifey Melania Trump both received coronavirus vaccines in January, White House advisers confirmed to the Chronicle on Monday. However, the former first lady is opting to remain socially distant, out of an abundance of caution, probably.
The two got their first dose while still in the White House, and have since received their second dose, according to someone wearing a suit and tie. It was not clear which vaccine they received, but Donald insisted on having it injected into the base of his tiny, worthless, child-molesting member.
Sponsored content: This story is brought to you by HackerHealth Face Pixelation Cream. Don’t get caught with your pants down!
Citing the discomfort prostitutes feel towards kissing certain clients, Melania told her assistant she is going to “play it safe” and avoid Donald until this whole thing blows over.¹
To the amusement of literally the entire world, the Trumps both contracted the coronavirus in late September, with the former president spending a few days on a milking table due to being so weak to the fake virus made up just to hurt him.
Now that they are healthy again, Melania finds herself slowly backing out of the room.
“I am trying not to let on that I am actually leaving, but offering reassuring tones as I make for the exit,” Melania said, comparing her exit to when your ass makes a sound, but you know it’s not a fart. “I don’t want to send up any signals that might cause my loving, abusive husband to give chase.”
This story is brought to you proudly by Lebal Drocer, Inc.
¹their life together
2 replies on “Donald Trump and Melania vaccinated in January, but will remain socially distant”
*eats ice cream
Oh boy do I want to suckle on that tiny molesting member all night