11:45 PM, Southern L.A in California. I have arranged a once in a lifetime opportunity to interview Tyrone Angelo AKA “Skittles”, Whitney Houston’s proud crack dealer. We decided to meet in a Denny’s parking lot, as this was a place where Whitney and Tyrone were often seen together, smoking crack and dishing out blowjobs.
Q:Tyrone, what can you tell us about Whitney before she died?
A: Sheeeeiiiit man, call me Skittles.
Q: Okay…Skittle, what was Whitney Houston like…BEFORE she died?
A: She was a tight lil thang, but her pussy STAAAAAAAAAANK.
Q: Skittles, PLEASE! That’s inappropriate.
A: Jus’ keepin’ it real, man. Gotta be true wid it, and lemme tell you summin’…dat Whitney Houston never take a day off crack! 3,4,5,6, sometimes 7 a day, she’d be over at ol’ Skittle, swappin’ handjobs for rocks.
Q: What about her habits? Do you know what she did when she wasn’t with you?
Q: We’ve established that, I mean anything ELSE?
A: Nope. Just crack.
Q: I didn’t know that.
A: Not a lot of people do, nigga. Y’see, Ike Turner din actually ABYOOOOOSE dat hoe, he had to fight her skank ass off when she’d go on a crack binge. But the mufuggin’ magazine couldn’t have dat shit…ol’ Whitney actin’ like a grade A nigger instead of a singer.
Q: What’s the difference?
A: Fuck you, man.
Q: Hey, you said it first.
A: I know dat, shit. Shut da fuq up and get on with the q’s.
Q: How much money did Whitney spend on crack?
A: Sheeeeeiiiit, dat crack money alone got me a brand new Mercedes.
Q: Wait, crack money alone? Was Whitney using other drugs, too?
A: AW HEEEELLLL YEAH, SON! Weed, vicadin, PCP, little bitta heroin, and a whole FUCKLOAD of crack.
Q: No shit?
A: No shit.
Q: So did you feel any guilt about Whitney dying?
A: Fuck no, nigga. She put that shit in her body on her own free will and shit. Shit’s not MY fault at all.
Q: Excellent point.
Q: One last thing…do you think the death of Whitney Houston was a big deal?
A: Shit no, son. Whitney was a cracked out, skinny ass nigga with shitty fuckin’ music and was famous fo’ gettin’ her ass whooped by another nigga. WHO GIVES A FUCK, NOBODY, I’M OUT.
At this point, Skittles moonwalked backwards to the sidewalked and promptly sold some 7 year old some crack and pills. Love this town.
6 replies on “Exclusive Interview with Tyrone Angelo AKA “Skittles””
is whitney houston dead
maaaan diz shiz iz juz the way whyte ppl think us blackz talk
Take it up with Tyrone Angelo AKA Skittles
I think y’all done beat that bitch to death already….
Dayum Tyrone… Sheeeeit Tyrone… Get it together!