INTERNET — New Zealanders gawked as a blinding flash and sonic booms rocked the airspace above the island nation. Meteorite expert Joel Schliff said the object was “almost certainly extra terrestrial,” leading many to speculate why the past half-century has seen such a rapid increase in visits from alien craft, starting with Roswell.
Ancient Alien theorist Giorgio Tsoukalos explained, “We know that the aliens were instrumental in the rise of all human civilizations. Their unmistakable imprint is ubiquitous in archaeology, history, art, and mythology, but we don’t know why.”
Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador of MIT’s astrobiology lab said, “If human civilization was in any way altered or engineered by an alien civilization then we can deduce that its major effects on the biosphere are desirable to the aliens. It would follow that if we see an increase in alien monitoring activities, that’s a clue that somehow this long project is coming to a head, that the Earth is nearly ripe for alien habitation. Isn’t it funny that de-terraforming Earth amounts to humanity’s greatest engineering feat, even though it is largely considered an accident? Surely nuclear detonations immediately triggered increased alien monitoring since a total transition to carbon-free nuclear energy is possible. But for some reason, humanity continues to fill the atmosphere with gases toxic to terrestrial life and more suitable for most alien species. Very strange indeed.”