Senator Bernie Sanders dead at 75

Fans mourn the loss of Independent Senator Bernie Sanders, 75, of Vermont

Fans, Voters, and Americans of all political leanings mourn Senator “Bernie” Sanders. Sanders was found dead in his home at the age of 75 after suffering a ruptured brain aneurysm in his sleep.

A video leaked from inside Sanders’ offices showed the late Senator in a distressed state Wednesday evening. Visibly red in the face and ‘raging’, Sanders said, “I don’t know how it happened. Obviously voting for Hillary was the right thing to do, but my supporters seemed more convinced by Trump’s arguments in the end. Where did I go wrong?”

Cassandra Fairbanks, former Bernie supporter and alt-right superstar, tweeted “Bernie was definitely suffering from brain damage in this clip. I hate to see him in this state. #RIPtheBern”

In the leaked footage, Bernie waved his hands in the air, as if distributing packages to the American people and screaming in a strained tone, “A little FASCISM for you, and a little FASCISM for YOU! And some WARS and some NUKES for YOU!” The video has since been removed from youtube at the request of the Sanders family.

Many have taken to tweeting on the hashtag #RIPtheBern, mourning not only for Bernie but for the American Republic. Dr. Troubador let loose a tweetstorm that has been at the center of all public discussion, tweeting “Historians will call Trump the first of the real neomonarchs. By the end of his term he will be too rich to ever lose an election. Trump will continue to buy influence and cash in on it beyond everyone’s expectations and he’s already grooming his family to inherit the American empire. We’re all realizing this just now and it’s not easy on any of us. Imagine how Bernie must’ve felt.”

12 replies on “Senator Bernie Sanders dead at 75”

*yawns .. yep deffinitely the dawg days of summer around here at the ye olde . Like I mean, you could’ve killed/murdered Cassandra off, since in reality its only a matter of time before she either drinks herself to death or her fake tit(s) explode.

Cassandra or Kassandra (Ancient Greek: Κασσάνδρα, pronounced [kas̚sándra], also Κασάνδρα), also known as Alexandra, was a daughter of King Priam and of Queen Hecuba of Troy in Greek mythology. In modern usage her name is employed as a rhetorical device to indicate someone whose accurate prophecies are not believed by those around them at the peak of her insanity.
A common version of her story relates how, in an effort to seduce her, Apollo gave her the power of prophecy: when she refused him, he spat into her mouth to inflict a curse that nobody would ever believe her prophecies.

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