UFO prophet Rael announces shocking plan for all-clone cities promising immortality and free sex

Rael's plans for an all-clone city promise adherents endless worry-free sex as well as genetic immortality
Rael’s plans for an all-clone city promises adherents endless worry-free sex as well as genetic immortality

INTERNET — Rael, founder and prophet of the nascent world religion Raelism, announced Friday that his human cloning facility in New Jerusalem, Israel is transitioning out of experimental stages and into full reproductive capacities. Speaking in a live internet broadcast to an estimated 80,000 followers across the globe, Rael said, “Preparations for the imminent arrival of the Elohim are nearing their culmination. Now is the time for the great pilgrimage, where the faithful will amass at the embassy for the Elohim in New Jerusalem and cleanse themselves in preparation.”

An anonymous Raelist bishop spoke with the Internet Chronicle, suggesting that a human cloning facility with the capacity for 1,000 births per year was judged by Rael to be a sufficient quantity to replace a small city’s need for sexual reproduction. The bishop said, “I know it sounds like scifi, but we’re expecting at least 10,000 adherents to immediately move to New Jerusalem, where sexual reproduction will be made impossible.”

Describing the process of entrance into New Jerusalem, the anonymous bishop said, “First, each person’s DNA will be sampled and preserved in three secret locations using alternate techniques, and then they will be surgically or chemically sterilized, depending on recommendations of doctors. Then they are given a numbered tattoo which identifies and ties them permanently to their DNA. Upon death, their DNA will be pulled from the banks and if all goes to plan a new child will grow to adulthood and continue the life and projects of the deceased.”

The anonymous bishop explained that the concern among the top echelon of Raelism was that the religion would become too popular, “Those with a permanent sexually transmitted disease are either denied entry or given a special mark identifying their status. We’ve been concerned that the existing demand for genetic immortality and a safe environment free of sex disease and pregnancy might shock the religion with new converts and we definitely don’t want to turn people down.”

The Raelist bishop added, “Cloning is not that hard, or even that expensive, and we’ve perfected it on a fairly industrial scale. I doubt we’ll be turning anyone down, in fact, franchise clone factories are already under secret construction in Asia and North America at so-called overflow sites where we are planning other clone-only Raelist cities.”

7 replies on “UFO prophet Rael announces shocking plan for all-clone cities promising immortality and free sex”

But seriously

I need like

A Grey alium with an emotion chip who cries all the time in a backpack

And a contingent of 13 albino winged Dracos for an alium gymnast circus

Then I will feel just a liddle bit better about myself & all of this farcical Satanic bullshi7


A fleet of 144 Predator X pliosaurs


A fleet of 30,000 Utahraptors


A fleet of 1,000 Carcharodontosaur


Moon asplosion + Mars asplosion + Mercury asplosion + Venus asplosion + Pluto asplosion + Uranus asplosion + Neptune asplosion + all Jupiter moon asplosions + all Saturn moon asplosions + Kuiper-Oort cloud Saturn-Jupiter barrage


Some other stuff

?? ??


Many Papyri of the Water Bearer k tx


Damn lemming commoner go0oy


GLORY, GLORY, GLORY to the LORD God Adonai, YHWH, El Shaddai, the Lord of Hosts, the Prince of Peace …

Praise to the Father, the Son, & the Holy Spirit, forever and ever …

For this cause was Iesous made manifest, that he might destroy the works of the Devil!!! =X

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