Vladimir Putin unleashed final proof of 9/11 inside job
Fans mourn the loss of Nadezhda Tolokonnikova
INTERNET — Fans mourn the loss of Nadia Tolokonnikova, feminist singer for the anti-Putin punk band Pussy Riot. Tolokonnikova was shot dead in Moscow, Tuesday, by unknown assailants as mourners gathered at Boris Nemtsov’s funeral.
Tolokonnikova’s death marks the second assassination of a famous Putin critic, just one week after Boris Nemtsov was assassinated.
Pussy Riot previously faced street violence from police and thugs during a paint attack in Moscow’s McDonald’s and during the filming of a video at the Sochi winter olympics. Tolokonnikova was imprisoned in Siberia for blasphemy after filming an anti-Putin music video at Moscow cathedral.
Tolokonnikova was also affiliated with Voina, an activist performance art ensemble which staged a famous anti-Medvedev public orgy at a Moscow biology museum. Tolokonnikova also recently appeared on the Netflix original series House of Cards.
Putin continues to enjoy nearly 90% approval ratings in Russia as he concentrates military forces in Crimea.
Kanye West: "SIRS Navigation doesn't care about anybody whose families and reputations they hurt when that needle lands on them."
Kanye West is “not happy” that fans don’t like the leaked track from his new album.
INTERNET — Fans were excited to get an early listen to All Day, a leaked track from Kanye’s new album, So Help Me God. Their excitement quickly turned to disappointment, as the track’s unremarkable hip hop degenerated into a mess of robotic sound effects, tinny acoustic guitar, and whistling that meandered into a narcissistic and pointless trap.
The unfulfilled promise of good music that Kanye has come to represent, especially through his multiple interventions at pivotal moments in award shows, seems to have crystallized into song. Neither Kanye nor his fans are happy about this travesty.
The Grandmaster of the Illuminati stepped out of the shadows to tell reporters they were responsible for 9/11, and it may have been their worst mistake yet.
Bill O’Reilly admitted Monday Ayn Rand did not write him into the literary canon.
FOX NEWS — Respected FOX News anchor Bill O’Reilly admitted to the press Howard Roark, the individualistic young architect from Ayn Rand’s libertarian treatise The Fountainhead, was not based on his character.
Though O’Reilly was born just six years after the novel’s publication in 1943, the journalist insisted, throughout the greater part of his career that Roark’s tenacious personal belief in individualism was based on O’Reilly’s own prenatal disgust for collectivism.
Leading experts faithfully adhered to the belief Rand foretold O’Reilly’s coming through the story of Roark, and clung desperately for six years to her prophetic testaments of a libertine messiah.
Virginia Commonwealth University literary expert Dr. Harmstrong Truebadoor said he will not change his mind in light of the facts.
“I know Papa Bear O’Reilly personally,” Truebadoor said. “The man is a prime mover if there ever was one. Years start low, and the numbers just go higher – you can’t explain that.”
Truebadoor said the six-year discrepancy between the novel’s publication and the world-renowned journalist’s birth are erroneous “facts” placed in the spacetime continuum to test our faith.
“The second-handers attacking O’Reilly on the basis of evidence have a crippling addiction to facts,” Truebadoor said. “The detractors negating Bill’s vision of a unified monoculture have no sense of the fantastic, raw truths inherent in the Bib– I mean The Fountainhead. They are clutching at straws.”
O’Reilly said he appreciates the profits that have come out of the support of his bloated, miserable army of die-hard fanatics, but indicated he wants to recede into his own legacy.
“The man is sort of in the way of the legend at this point,” O’Reilly said. “Now you all are just waiting for me to die so you can make movies, theme park rides, and capitalize on all the principal I moved for you people. I may not be Roark, ladies and gentleman. You’re right. I’m more than that. I am Roark. You’re welcome.”
