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Negro uprising suppressed by Homeland Security

Mainstream Media broadcast images of riots in Negro Ghettoes accompanied by the auctioneer-like intoning of disembodied voices.
Mainstream Media broadcast images of riots in Negro Ghettoes accompanied by the auctioneer-like intoning of disembodied voices.

FERGUSON — Supporters of Mike Brown, the Young Negro shot down by the brave officer Darren Wilson, flooded into the streets in dismay after no charges were filed against the murderous officer by the secretive grand jury. On both sides of the Atlantic and in Ferguson, armored vehicles filled with proud White police soldiers opened and released their wrath upon the Negro ghettos, suppressing the outbreak of violence and anarchy with “less than lethal” weaponry.

One outraged negro man was seen scolding an assault-rifle toting trooper, telling him, “Go fight ISIS! We ain’t got no weapons.” Shouts of, “You no better than ISIS, you no better than Hitler,” were heard, streamed to hundreds of thousands of astounded people connected to the Internet. An angry mob set fire to a police cruiser in Ferguson as heavily-armored proud white men behind a shield wall fired tear gas into their midst.

Moments before a round of teargas canisters were launched out of an armored personnel carrier parked beneath a neon “SEASON’S GREETINGS” banner installed in the ghetto by the all-white local government, one particularly intelligent Negro pontificated, “White people just don’t get it. They think everything the police do is right. They’ll never get it, not until they get black skin, brown skin.”

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Entertainment

BREAKING: BILL COSBY COMMITS SUICIDE AT 77

Bill Cosby
Several women had come forward with allegations against Bill Cosby of gross sexual misconduct.

BILL COSBY — Pain and anguish struck the hearts of millions of fans, Sunday, after news broke of comedian Bill Cosby’s suicide at the age of 77. A rash of sex assault allegations plagued America’s favorite Black comedian earlier this week, and experts from the Hollywood Psychological Network say the 80s sitcom star’s suicide confirms his guilt.

 “It really is tragic, because Bill Cosby was such a well-liked figure in the entertainment industry,” said Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour, resident expert of the HPN. “It is a shame the way Mr. Cosby’s reputation has been ravaged by sexual misconduct.”
Some fans don’t agree at all with Dr. Troubador, and want to remember Cosby just for his entertainment without judging his personal life. Serena Plowman said, “We should remember him for the laughs he brought to us, not for the unproven allegations of embittered ex-girlfriends.”
Users of the Red Pill subreddit also defended the icon on his memorial page Sunday, some claiming they identified with his unfortunate image in the press. “Red Pillers” are so-called men’s rights activists known for their ability to filter reality through a profoundly misogynistic interpretive lens.
“I’ve spun a few plates in my day,” wrote Sean Brown, 27, from Los Angeles. “Hate the sport, not the player. I know for a fact that anything can be turned into an allegation of rape by the Feminist bluepillers in control of the media. They just want to take every man down a notch, silence all of us. Bill Cosby did nothing wrong.”
A candlelight vigil for the fallen star is being held in front of Cosby’s $400 million estate Monday night. His family has requested the media respect their privacy while they grieve and distribute inheritance.
The method of suicide is not yet known. The actor did not leave a note.

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Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu Dead at 65

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu passed away suddenly, Sunday evening
Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu passed away suddenly, Sunday evening

REVELATIONS — Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel, died suddenly Sunday evening after suffering a heart attack in his home. He was 65 years old and will be deeply missed by prominent bankers and comedians. His entire estate of over twenty million dollars was disbursed to the Anti-Defamation League and will go towards building a holocaust theme park in the heart of Tel Aviv.

 
Netanyahu’s fabulous wealth will also go towards demolishing the Muslim holy site at the Dome of the Rock and aid in the rebuilding of the most holy Jewish temple, from which God’s prayers are thousands of times more effective than any other place in the universe. This move will usher in the biblical endtimes by securing Israel’s final lock on global power, and experts in all three Abrahamic religions believe that a new messiah and possibly anti-messiah will appear at any moment and possibly destabilize even the gold market.