Adrian Chen attempts to block the view of Tlingit masks he said are "also wrong."

I’m Adrian Chen, and I know many things. I mean, there are a lot of things I know. I know stuff about politics, the Internet and hacktivism because I myself am a troll hacktivist. I try really hard to know as much as possible about what Anonymous tweets, and especially LulzSec, Sabu and reddit.com. But what I know most of all to be most factual and more true than any other fact on the Internet, is that the Chronicle.SU is wrong.

They are wrong about many things, especially the stuff I know more about than they do. I write for a website called Gawker, which is never wrong, and always right. In fact, since I can’t seem to find any satire websites with balls enough to tackle hacktivism on the internet, I am thinking about starting my own satire site, in which I replace the word “write” with “right” – because I am always right! (I’m a righter! Get it?)

One of the things Chronicle.SU is wrong about is Sabu of LulzSec and #AntiSec being a brown guy named Hugo. They are especially wrong about that because they wrongly Photoshopped an image of Hugo’s face as the leader of #ANTISEC, the group competing against Anonymous for most lulz. WRONG! He’s not the leader, fucking idiots! Sabu is! And Sabu isn’t Hugo! Jesus.

Adrian Trolls — Chen: "Chronicle.SU was also wrong when they said I was wrong about who invented Anonymous porn. I knew Chronicle.SU already invented Anon porn. I wasn't wrong. I was just trolling them behind their backs because that's how Adrian rolls."

You know, if the Chronicle.SU was a satire website, this would almost be forgivable, even though LulzSec is no laughing matter, but this is an egregious error on the part of Chronicle.SU Editors, right on up to the executives and I’m speaking out!

If I were the owner of that newspaper, and it wasn’t some socialist experiment of a defunct military state like the Soviet Union, I’d call a company-wide meeting to talk about fact-checking and making sure we never run anything wrong, ever again. Because like I said earlier, Gawker has never run a single wrong thing – not with MY name attached to it, they haven’t. The Chronicle.SU is the most inaccurate, least factual source of information I’ve ever read. And yet, I keep coming back for more! It’s sickening.

I have a message for you Chronicle.SU readers out there who fall consistently for their lies and disinformation. You ready for it? Here it is, BIG NEWS BABY HERE WE GO:

The Chronicle.SU is a propaganda tool of the disinformation arm of the United States Government.

During Psy-Operative campaigns by the CIA, the Chronicle.SU was imbedded in IRC chats distributing pro-wikileaks articles and information so biased toward truth we jokingly called it truth-propaganda around the Gawker office. And they released DDoS instructions, toolkits and PHP-based starter kits to help lies spread faster, no matter what they were; they even helped build the Louise Boat. Simply disgusting.

Get a clue. Avoid Chronicle.SU

The official death of the rage comic

Recently, Reddit sucked the last drop of funny out of rage comics. Rage comics are emoticon memes assembled into humorous stories. There was once a time when rage comics were original and made me laugh. Those days are dead.

what the fuck — This doesn't tell a story, doesn't make me laugh, and doesn't really do anything at all. The only person who laughed at this was stupidaccountname. EDIT: After reading this comic a second time, I loled at a joke by stupidaccountname. The absolutely easiest way to view a meme-free reddit is to kill yourself. That comment deserved much more karma.

marriage proposal — Yes, this is really as bad as it seems. A middle aged woman telling a touchy-feely personal story and PROPOSING to her boyfriend. I wretched!

WwLUV — There is absolutely nothing funny about this comic whatsoever. It's merely a tale of butthurt accompanied with emoticons which were funny the first 10,000 times. Now they're not.

8t218 — If you know anything about the history of rage comics, this is the one that will put you over the line. This is the one that made me post this story. One of the most famous faces in rage comics is "raisins" face. The face a person makes after biting into a cookie, thinking it's filled with chocolate chips, only to realize it is raisins. The maker of this rage comic didn't use the raisin face.

Raisins — Here is the original. Notice how this rage comic is not littered with purposeless text, building an elaborate but unfunny story. The maker of this comic actually created their own face, capturing the shock of unexpected raisin cookies so perfectly that the image has been reused thousands of times by creators of piss-poor copycat rage comics.

With that, ladies and gentlemen, we must lay rage comics to rest in the graveyard of funny internet memes that have been thoroughly beaten to death. No, fuck that. They must be incinerated forever and stricken from archive.org. God help us.