Sup fellow dudes? Have you noticed a slimy feeling in your chest? Does it feel like you got herpes on your lungs? Yeah, that’s you gettin’ sick, bro.
It’s probably time to lay down the bong for a minute and just chill out on some acid instead, or something that doesn’t bother your lungs, like Quaaludes.
Back in the land before time, old people used to give whiskey to little kids and it would cure their cough. Now that you’re an adult, you no longer need smelly old people, or their war stories. Now you can pick up a case of Miller Lite or a 40-ounce bottle of medicine at your closest 7-Eleven. It’s the way they did it in olden times. Though there are more effective methods of treating the flu, chugging forties gives you the most bang for your buck. You feel better, AND you feel better!
Dr. Angstrom H. Troubedaur, a real doctor, recommends shotgunning twelve-ounce medicine canisters by stabbing a blade into the aluminum can and sucking around the hole you made. As you guzzle beer, your body naturally battles the poisons applied to your liver, giving your immune system the boost it needs to combat serious ailments such as:
- SEASONAL FLU SYMPTOMS
- HEADACHES
- GOUT
- MEASLES
- WHOOPING COUGH
- AIDS
- SCARLET FEVER
- Leaky broads
- & HPV
Ask your “doctor” today!
THIS MESSAGE BROUGHT TO YOU GRACIOUSLY BY LEBAL DROCER, INC.
WE OWN EVERYTHING THAT MATTERS.
4 replies on “Seasonal Flu Tips From Doctor Angstrom H. Troubedaur”
Dr. Angstrom Troubadaur: certified MD, graduated out of Southern Dublin Community College, with an extended residency as lead physician at the South Carolina Renaissance Festival.
Considered a nuissance by self-described “real” doctors, Angstrom maintains his is a legitimate practice. It should be noted, his oldest patient is 30 and dying.
Judge for yourself though. At the very least, you’ll have a good night of it.
He is not a real doctor. He is a liar and a scam artist who conned Violent J out of 10 million dollars with the ol’ “invisible skin cancer” con. Old as time itself.
Incredibly stupid “doctors” such as this idiot should be stripped of his doctorate and sent back to school to retrieve his common sense factor or have surgery done to fix his common sense factor switch!
Some people deserve to be gassed! O.o
I like the gas the dentist gives me. Js.