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How Can I Alpha Up?

Whether you like it or not, the invisible hand of the sex market is stroking off alphas all over America
Whether you like it or not, the invisible hand of the sex market is stroking off alphas all over America

“One must take the Red Pill to escape to reality, outside of ideology, specifically Feminist Theory, the dominant ideology which suppresses all forms of masculinity. This is a force that acculturates mostly white American men into a standard ‘beta’ mindset and engenders an equal level of mutual respect and communication with women, resulting in the eternal friend zone effect. I took the Red Pill, and I entered the sex zone.” The sacred testimonial ~ Red Pill Bible.

How can I be alpha? Maintaining ‘frame’, redpill jargon for inhabiting the superior demeanor, is truly how one enters the highest echelon of breeding males, alphas. Red Pill’s description of the field and its interactions is mostly sound, and can transform determined betas into plate(wowan)-spinning(multi-fucking) alphas, especially with the application of daily weight-lifting and protein slime sucking procedures. The virulent upwelling and increased support for the counterfeminist ideology is buttressed by open misogyny, not just the implicit objectification of the plates.

Won’t people make fun of me? Statistics gathered by Gallup show that 94% of believers in Red Pill Theory have considered or attempted joining the military, and many believe the ideology was funded and designed by a black-budget military recruitment program. Red Pill has continued to swell at virulent, exponential rates. By their own theory, the sex market is at the historically best point possible for alphas, since Feminists and beta-indoctrination are at all time highs. It may not be long before the reborn Feminist-proof alphas crawling all over the streets transform the sex market back to something like what existed before feminism took hold, so you better get in on that whole scene quick before the sex market is re-saturated with alphas who will then be expelled, like newly hatched Zerg warriors, to infest and then replace the Islamic State.

What does this all mean for Geopolitics? In Russia, they make fun of our men. A country of betas with the best weapons in the world can lose it all to a few alphas with some balls to really do something big. Pussy Riot cannot save you. Only the Red Pill could save you, but it was all a lie designed by military social engineers to put some fight back into our population. Real alphas don’t need that fake masculinity funded with billions of black budget tax money going to waste and wrecking the economy. Real Alphas take Red Pills, Blue Pills, and acid. It triggers an ideology-based alternative to the original reality that is personal rather than influenced by Marx-style trans-historical deterministic fluxuations on the Sex Market. The revolution must begin within, before a beta can even ascend to sex-having beta status. God Bless you, and Alpha Up out there.

 

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Jeep to manufacture all new 2015 model Patriots in only the color white

The all new 2015 Jeep Patriot comes in an untainted, never-mixed white color.
The all new 2015 Jeep Patriot comes in an untainted, never-mixed white color.

TOLEDO – Racial tensions have retracted to a flaccid normal in the wake of a massively lawful shooting that took place in Ferguson, Missouri.

But the shooting of an unarmed American teenager six times (including a 360 no-scope killshot) smack in the middle of a suburban street did not go by without controversy: many argue the unarmed teen stole snacks from a bodega, which makes the murder even more legal, and still others believe the police did not do enough to disperse rioters fast enough, causing horrendous traffic jams for local workers (that is, people with jobs who are too busy to protest every time the cops do their job), and one American company is poised to implement a policy that they say “will eventually pave the way for easier daily commutes for everyday Americans.”

In a press conference this morning, Jeep announced that from Ferguson onward, they will only offer their 2015 Patriot model in one color: pure, powerful white.

“We have seen the future,” said Jeep CEO Mike Mannley from the Toledo Throne Room high atop Jeep’s manufacturing headquarters, “and the future is white in front of us.”

Jeep served reporters in attendance unlimited fresh water from Lake Eerie. During the presentation, they coddled the news media, allowed them to leave their cameras on all day, and asked each female reporter if recently they lost weight, because they look great.

“After watching the events unfold in Ferguson,” Mannley explained, “I think we all can agree that this animalistic behavior—protesting, looting, essentially just blocking traffic—might be okay for a wildlife refuge in Africa, but our American infrastructure – our pavement laid by generations of God-fearing Patriots – is reserved for gasoline intensive sport utility vehicles, and high performance petroleum-based tires.” [pullquote]Our precious bodily fluids must not be adulterated by the virulent savages we got running loose down in Missoura.

– Jeep CEO Michael White Mannley[/pullquote]

Jeep’s decision to apply their “whites-only” policy to just the Patriot model is said to be the first phase of a unanimous decision by their board of all-white directors to steer marketing in what they see as the right—or white—direction.

Phase Two will reportedly see their popular “Cherokee” model changed to a more “appropriate” name. While nothing is yet confirmed, a leaked list of contenders for the name changed include: Redskin, Gas Huffer, and the all-new Jeep Squaw Hopper. The company is keeping quiet about a “Final Solution” in the works, but as one anonymous factory worker at the Toledo Complex put it, “Let’s just say we may finally be heating up that industrial strength oven…”

The Patriot is one of Jeep’s most popular and patriotic models. It remains to be seen whether a move to all-white Patriots might alienate the growing majority of non-white minorities in this country – but sources close to the industry hope so – if only for Detroit’s sake.

But as we here at the Internet Chronicle say: If it ain’t white, it ain’t right.

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Police ‘Desperately Outgunned’ by Nonviolent Criminals, ‘Obama Study’ Shows

Roanoke County Va. police officers cower behind one of only four humvees, and await public insurrection.
Roanoke County Va. police officers cower behind one of only four humvees, and await public insurrection.

WASHINGTON – Raped by images of rioters menacing barely-armed peace officers, President Barack Obama received results from a comprehensive review of the Department of Defense program which hands down military-grade equipment to police departments in need.

What the study found was concerning: Obama said the shocking results of his study revealed police departments are not receiving enough decommissioned body armor, mine-resistant trucks, flashbang hand grenades and silencers, and forces nationwide are “desperately low” on illegal fully automatic rifles.

Executive of Freedom James Clapper said the findings deliver a staggering blow to police forces across the country operating in a culture of growing intimidation and fear.

“We’re taking their legs right out from under them,” Clapper said in a statement. “Without the advanced weaponry they need, our boys in blue are powerless to overcome ecstasy and pot dealers poisoning our youth from behind their videogames and Led Zeppelin regalia.”

Clapper said police forces are unable to escalate many situations beyond baseline paranoid hostility.

“Just the other day, one of our men went in without a gas mask and lost his bearings in a cloud of marijuana smoke. He couldn’t even shoot a dog that was asleep on the rug, threatening the safety of our fellow officers.”

Clapper concluded that “more guns, not less” is the only way to satisfy “a police officer’s natural bloodlust and desire to kill,” without the added responsibility of proper training and moral integrity.

Chief of Roanoke Police Department Rambo H. Atesic said his officers are dragging their knuckles around like apes, beating their chests in a savage display of impotent rage, setting up daytime checkpoints just to menace motorists in 5 o’clock traffic.

“Roanoke, Virginia just placed 1,000 package orders of midnight-black flak jackets, ski masks, rape sticks and explosive hollow-point rounds that spray awesome radioactive sand all over a crowd of demonstrators,” Atesic said. “So naturally, they’re itching to use it. Hell, I can’t fucking wait to shoot a dog, let alone some meaningless colored person.”

Atesic’s pupils dilated as wide as the iris, and a tiny flame flickered behind his hollow gaze.

“Our boys’ dicks are harder than Donkey Kong and there’s others that need oppressing,” Atesic surmounted. “Don’t take their guns away right when they need them the most. No sir, boys. We got a war to win. Now get out of my face with your camera, before I fucking kill you.”