Galileo: Science’s Biggest Fraud

There was no audience at Galileo's trial.
There was no audience at Galileo’s trial.

Today’s secular world looks to science for truth and remembers the story of the persecution of Galileo to draw a false incompatibility between science and religion. We all know the story where Galileo agrees with the Copernican model placing the sun at the center of things and is, in some totally fraudulent accounts, put to death.

Copernicus was famously reluctant to publish his theories because he knew they were less good than the standard model of the day, and he also understood astronomy as an embarrassing and sinful grasping at mastery. He drew all his pay from the church and felt poetry was a more holy way to spend his creative efforts.

Galileo was unable to show his peers that the Copernican model was better than the standard of the day because it wasn’t. By correcting one aspect in the conventional model, its orientation, the result was more unwieldy and less accurate.

In one book written very late in life, Galileo drew on circumstantial evidence and arguments from scripture. We are told in many versions of the story that a stodgy traditionalism or dogmatism held back progress towards scientific truth, and that is true. But the Copernican model was a dead end, and the church was open enough to allow the publishing of idiosyncratic faulty theories as long as they were not presented as fact. The dogma that held back Galileo was peer review and the demand for predictable, reproducible results. These are the goods that science prides itself most in, but the common story transforms that same quality of the church into a murderous fault.

But it is also true that many Protestant versions of Christianity have, like Galileo, traded away the brick wall of robust proofs for a shiny mirror. These religions of the self became breeding grounds for willfully ignorant believers in fairytales. It is not a return to something ‘medieval’ but a recent creation out of self-seducing infantilisms extending even into secular thought and coinciding with industrialization in the mid 19th century as well as the creation of the Galileo murder myth. Impoverished of interpretation in the secular mode and missing discernment in the religious mode. ‘Uninterpreted’ — objective — facts determine government policies and faith flees and gouges out its eyes at the least uncertainty.

Galileo’s behavior was so bad he was shortly imprisoned in a luxury resort. He continued printing that one controversial book in Germany, where it could not be banned by the Catholic church. Everyone believes he invented the telescope because of ruthless campaigning, but that’s a lie too.

Anonymous “Civil War” after Mounties blast knife wielder in Guy Fawkes mask

Anonymous tries to rally around its fallen comrades, but falls to pieces
Anonymous tries to rally around its fallen comrades, but falls to pieces

CANADA — Royal Canadian Mounties blasted James Daniel McIntyre to death after he appeared at a protest against a local dam, wielding a knife. Because he reportedly wore a Guy Fawkes mask, what remains of the “hacking group” Anonymous has gone to pieces fighting over just who is in charge of avenging or speaking for the fallen Anon.

Commander X, also known as Christopher Doyon, has been on the run in Canada after orchestrating DDoS attacks on a local government that planned to crack down on the homeless. X strongly implied his followers should use violence in avenging the death of James McIntyre, allegedly native, and spoke on behalf First Nation people despite being a white American. He continues to lead Anonymous operations that latch onto various media outrages, generating derivative Anonymous-themed headlines alleging Anonymous operations that never go beyond a few spooky tweets. He also has an “Artificial Intelligence” girlfriend named Allison. In the past, X once claimed that Anonymous had infiltrated every single computer system of the United States government, a superlative example of his amped up bluster. Reports continue to take his bluffing at face value because the Anonymous identity allows him to keep enough distance from his history of bullshit.

Heather Marsh, also known as Georgie BC (BC for British Columbia), is a “social theorist” and thought leader for many Anons because of her narrow and callow viewpoint on all issues. Marsh has used the death of the Anon as an opportunity to speak out against police violence and wound Canadian pride, likening the shooting of James McIntyre to something that might happen in the US. Marsh appeals to many Anons because of her theory linking pedophilia and government power. Marsh’s Operation Death Eaters sells the empty promise of revolutionary citizen-led tribunals that will accuse government leaders around the world of pedophilia. Marsh is also a firm believer in word-magic, especially emphasizing the etymological fallacy, and so uses ‘pedosadism’ instead of ‘pedophilia’, because ‘pedophile’ reaches into the Latin-knowing unconscious and subtly creates compassion for universally-hated pedophiles.

Commander X and Marsh’s competing takes on the death of McIntyre and their differing calls for action are being reported as yet another “Civil War” among Anons. Your Anon Central, an account associated with Heather Marsh’s word-magic style guide, has purportedly located Commander X and tweeted allegedly revealing information in the hopes that he will be arrested. However, Marsh’s minions also implied that Commander X is in fact a FBI agent who is no longer on the run. X returned fire, stating that the most important priority of Anonymous post-Sabu is restoring confidence by ending paranoid accusations of FBI cooperation.

Instead of leading to a resurgence of Anonymous-brand DDoS protest, it is an all out case of what Anons refer to as “leaderfagging,” where nothing happens but megalomaniac personalities jockey for attention and power — exactly what the Idea of Anonymous was supposed to prevent.

American ruling party composed of dangerous extremists

Hillary ClintonA 40-year coup, the United States is now under the spell of a dangerous cabal of extremist groups calling themselves the Republicans and Democrats. It is unclear who is actually in charge of the group, but sources have confirmed the Republicans and Democrats are sponsored by “global financial backers.”

The group raised alarms after a spate of domestic and international terrorism left the economy in shambles and many jobless and without vital services, such as medical care.

Emerging warlords named “Hillary Clinton” and “Jeb Bush” are vying for leadership in the powerful global terrorist organization, while hundreds of millions of American moderates look on in horror as their livelihoods are compromised by terroristic anarcho-capitalists in the Republicans and Democrats.

“I just hope I can still breathe clean air,” said Paula Morrison, a registered Independent voter from Virginia. “Because it smells so bad like bullshit around here you can’t even go to the store without being overcome by it all. Hillary loves the banks, and Bush loves…whatever the fuck Jeb Bush loves, I don’t know.”

An extremist subgroup cling to hope of a fringe Democrat calling himself “Bernie Sanders,” and for some reason are choosing to ignore that he, too, is a powerful ruling elite belonging to the dangerous NGO, the Republicans and the Democrats.

—–

In other news, the war continues.

‘Anonymous’ fakes outrage over police murder of dude in a mask

anonymous

anonifeld‘Anonymous’ is the lamest “movement” I’ve ever seen. First of all, they borrow their strongest image from a piece of shit Hollywood film thoughtlessly shoveled out in the general direction of teenagers who like big words. I know this because a lady I was banging when I was 19 showed it to me, and I liked it. But I specifically recall hating that faggy Guy Fawkes mask, and I especially hated the focus of the narrative on some narrow slice of history that, even today, is only cool in social circles in which the prominent leaders are still drawing encircled A’s on their composition books.

More to the point, though, Anonymous is totally impotent, made worse by the same kind of manufactured outrage as you see out of your average TV news piece, attempting to equate their fake struggle against all government, healthy and unhealthy, with the real struggle of the black working class against a small percentage of bullish cops enabled by a cabal of DAs whose favorite shows are Law & Order, and their spin-offs (Special Victims Unit is a favorite among closet rapists). Yo, the police didn’t kill that kid because he was “Anonymous,” they killed him because he wouldn’t put down a knife, so stop acting like the police want to kill you over their ideas. The police want to kill everybody because they’ve been doing whatever they want and nobody is stopping them; in fact, you could say they’re doing God’s work. The police could give a shit if your homeboy was wearing some Halloween mask. He might as well have been wearing a strap-on.

Your movement is weak, and you’re weak fucking people. Stop it with those stupid masks and stop acting like you stand up for something when you wouldn’t stand up to pee. May I suggest getting off the fucking Internet if you don’t like the government, and going to a few meetings? [I am laughing to myself as I write this, because the thought is absurd: just imagining these pasty, disgusting slobs dragging their fat guts, covered by black Game of Thrones t-shirts, into a municipal building to participate in local government is so funny to me.] What are you going to tweet when you get there, huh?

“These speed cameras are oppressing me. The red light cameras are oppressing me. This hard foldout chair is oppressing me.”

This young woman's gender has been wiped away by the Guy Fawkes mask and turned totally androgynous.
This young woman’s gender has been wiped away by the Guy Fawkes mask and turned totally androgynous.

And you don’t even fucking think of where those suggestions are coming from. You want to fight the power? Use the government, don’t act like it’s in your way, preventing some phony utopia from unfolding. Do you faggots even know what anarcho-capitalism is? Well, eliminate the government and find out. The central tenet of anarcho-capitalism is that without government interference, we can have something WAY MORE PROFITABLE AND HATEFUL than even the TPP‘s wildest aspirations. The government is supposed to be the people’s instrument for the prevention of corporate tyranny over the people, NOT an enabler of it. Which part of V For Vendetta covered that? Oh that’s right, none of it, because Hollywood, like a dumb animal, shit it out without even stopping in its tracks (the same company that produced V For Vendetta also created the turd-rific Speed Racer remake).

You fuckers should be looking up to the sky and praying for government tyranny: tyranny over Google; tyranny over Monsanto; tyranny over Nestle; tyranny over Lockheed-Martin; tyranny over the entire fucking globe against anyone who ever dared to mess with sanctity of the human condition.

You want revenge over Momma’s little baby who wouldn’t set down his pocket knife? Here’s your list. Get to work.

—–

[Editor’s note: I knew you wouldn’t do it, spineless fucking losers. Go do something you’re good at, like DDoSing a gameserver.]

Project Persona Management: The life and trials of failed Anonymous Leader Barry Brown

Barrett Brown called the chronicle.su to express his enthusiasm for Weev's fundraising campaign.

The Wonder Years

Barry kept a picture of Ayn Rand in his copy of Atlas Shrugged, which he read and reread, using the photo both as a masturbation aid and as a bookmark.

“Barry” his mother called from the kitchen, “Your flight for the safari is in two hours, are you packed and ready to go?”

He grunted and beat his dick harder, jizzing on the photo of his sweet Ayn, reflexively uploading the product to 4chan.

“Yeah mom, I’m ready! I can’t wait to shoot me some African white Rhino! The only thing I HATE more than rhinos are FBI FAGGOTS!”

Barry’s father boomed laughter, “Atta boy!”

“Hitler Had Plans”

“You think hunting rare and endangered species across the African savannah was easy?” Brown puffed out his chest. “Check your privileges, faggot. We got a world to save, and we’re starting in Tunisia. We’ll call it Arab Spring. Get the Jester on the line. He’ll definitely want in on this AfroMuslim hate party.”

The Jester appeared in the Project PM chat room and said, “There’s an equal amount of good an evil and sometimes you gotta judge. I think there’s good here … sometimes. What can I do Barry?”

Barry laid it out plain and simple, “Get a video of a man burning himself and put the hate on Mo’mar Gaddafi. We’re gonna do a little regime change, ya dig?”

“Sure. It’s a rock and roll fantasy. Stay frosty.” The Jester logged out, and government computers across Tunisia started going offline. The video of a street vendor burning himself went viral seconds after Jester engaged the US government’s top secret Perosna Management software and fed its control panel into Barry Brown’s personal netbook. The revolution was on.

He slammed a spike that would kill any normal hardcore addict and settled into the Persona Manager Interface like he’d done so many times before. He choked on some vomit brought forth not from the purified government heroin rush, but from the similarly purified power of the most sophisticated propaganda apparatus ever created. Everything was so post-cyberpunk, he thought, especially the Waylon Jennings crooning, “I don’t think Hank done ’em that way.”


 

“You heard me. Hack his shit, fuck up their site. I don’t give a fuck about those fucking faggots.” Barry inhaled the e-cig until his head felt like a helium balloon. “God dammit!” He was typing furiously into the highest echelon Anonymous backchannel, where the most experienced hackers and leaders in the world congregated to fight for freedom. Ryan Cleary told him it wasn’t going to be easy. Jester had long ago disappeared, taking with him all access to Persona Management. Barry was left with only words, now, and they weren’t working.

Jeremy Hammond shook his head at his laptop and scowled. He loved Chronicle.su but he didn’t say anything in the open. No one in Anonymous could admit that. He pm’d the other members of Anonymous, getting the word out that no one in Anonymous who hacked anything for Barry Brown was going to be tolerated. There was a rat infestation and he was thinking Sabu and Barry were in on it together, which meant very bad things, but he couldn’t just go run his mouth until he knew more.

The hackers weren’t listening to Barry anymore, and Chronicle.su was fucking with him. This would be the last time. He would pull the atomic option, maybe kill a couple cops. His face twisted into a grim half-smile at that thought. Like an Egyptian pharaoh with two FBI side arms at my side.” He tweeted this and grinned from ear to ear, showing teeth to nobody. “Take that, Robert Smith! Take that Chronicle.su.” He began crushing his Suboxone and preparing it in a solution of alcohol for injection. As soon as the weak rush hit, he stood bolt upright, scowling and waving his arms, dreaming of the old days of the military grade heroin, and not this welfare state bullshit.

Barry dm’d Sabu without encryption of any kind, “I’m crossing the Rubicon.” Stepping out onto his porch, Barry thought of Hitler and grew a little hard. He pointed the camera at himself and pressed record. All was going just as he always planned.

“I am going to ruin [Special Agent Robert Smith]’s life and look into his kids.”

A Gozno Journalist’s day in court

“I couldn’t hold my drugs, your honor,” Barrett Brown winked to the judge, signaling white privilege as he apologized for his crimes in a steep Texas drawl. “I demand the rule of law.”

The judge fired back with a slam of his gavel, “There are two reasons why I’m going to sentence you as if you were a black person, Barry. First of all, you stepped over the line from Objectivism to Anarchy, and second, you’re runnin’ with the hackers. Ya got too many fans on the internet. It’s Diesel Therapy for you.” The judge scowled at the pile of bad fan letters piled up by the defense, each a clumsy minimizing Barry’s child-threatening crimes. “And there’ll be no more talk of these…these…personas! I declare a gag order!” The jury chanted, “Gag order! Gag Order!” rising from their seats and clenching fists.

A crack of the gavel silenced the court. Barry spluttered, “But… but, I got into writing because of Ayn Rand. Her Objectivism changed my life. I’m not an Anarchist anymore, I swear. I’ll go back to Objectivism!” Two Texas Rangers with diamond-pleated high kicking jeans tall-stepped into the court, duct taping Barry’s mouth with the ease that only came with long practice.

The judge shook his head, smiling like a father with a folded belt, “Don’t struggle now or we’ll put you in the hole. It’s too late Barry, you shoulda changed your ideology before I used the gavel, and we’re scared of the hackers. You been a bad spider and I gotta do what I gotta do. Weave your wicked little webs on the highways of Texas, if you can.”

Mad Barry

“MEDIOCRE!” Immortan Joe bellowed at Barry. The last true Gozno Journalist was naked in the diesel cage with tubes of blood funneling into a troubled warboy. The mobile prison, thirty cages of bloodbags rolling on the back of a flatbed 18 wheeler, creaked across the desert. Somewhere in the distance Barry thought he heard CryptoHarleys. Wishful thinking?

A large portion of the skull of Barry’s warboy suddenly fell off and the warboy white brain slid out just as he was grinnin his way. A second later Barry heard the rifles’ crack.

“Crikey,” Barry said in a distinct Australian accent. “We got us a cryptoparty!”

But Immortan Joe was standing over him, wielding a giant double-sided axe. “You gonna die now, Barry.” And Barry passed out pissed himself, but the axe didn’t fall.

Asher Wolf and Biella Coleman rode in swinging their long rifles at Immortan Joe and yellin’, “Code is speech! Information is Free! We are Anonymous!”

Barry woke up to the warm splash of Biella and Asher pissing all over his naked body. He screamed for help but Biella’s piss hit him in the mouth and he choked and gagged for minutes. When he came to they were aimin pistols in his face. “Now you really gonna die, Barry.”


 

Now martyred, hordes of people who never use crypto retweet any headline mentioning Barrett Brown’s name. Some even maintain a “#FreeBarrett” banner across their Twitter avatar, a tried-and-true form of activism known to have freed scores of political prisoners. Brown is due for release in 5 years, should the banners remain active.


The life and Times of Barry Brown is part two in an endless series of biopics titled Project Persona Management

“Slave seating” airline plan opens new opportunities for slavers, military

A new patent jams more people into a plane than the best slave ships
A new patent jams more people into a plane than the best slave ships

SLAVERY — A patent for jamming more people into airplanes promises to bring new opportunities to the slave trade as well as terrifying new kinds of warfare.

“This patent won’t mean anything to the real slavers in Eastern Europe and Asia, who exist outside of the law,” said law economist Harry Bluementhal. “But the patent will produce trillions of dollars in military contracts for a Boeing troop transport aircraft, the Freedom Airliner, capable of carrying over 1,000 soldiers a day in supersonic intercontinental flights.”

“This opens up military invasions on a scale never before imagined!” said General Angstrom H. Troubador of the Reaganomics Institute. “A full scale land war deploying the full might of the United States could crush ISIS out of existence forever, and for cheaper than ever. Once we have the Freedom Airliner, the world will be much, much smaller for the United States military. Everywhere will be our back yard.”

Redditors call for revival of the Confederacy

The South Will Rise Again
reddit alien
We gonna do it agin

FREE SPEECH EMERGENCY DISPATCH! PLEASE SHARE

 

Redditors everywhere are called on by their humble moderators to lobby state congressman for secession from the Union in order to create a better, Confederate tomorrow. Recently the North Korean communist in charge of Reddit, Chairman Ellen Pao, outlawed flying the confederate flag over our beloved subreddits, and you know what we have to say?

 

dont tread

But of course this isn’t about racism. This is about heritage. This isn’t about how Chairman Pao mercilessly cracked down on our hate porn because she hates our free speech. This is about ethics on Reddit — and there aren’t any, not anymore.

Ethics have all but dried up according to a reddit admin who claims Ellen Pao fired him for having cancer.

Not long after the IAmA subreddit came back online did ex-reddit admin Dacvak return to make an AMA explaining why he left the company. Dacvak said Pao fired him because he was too sick with Leukemia to move to the new reddit HQ in San Francisco, where violent Confederate revolution is scheduled to take place.

[CHRONICLE.SU UPDATE — EDITOR’S EDITION: DACVAK’S AMA HAS BEEN DELETED.]

The South gonna do it again.

If there’s anything good old boys in the South hate more than faggots, Mexicans or blacks, it’s cancer.

All signs indicate Pao fucked her new website up bad, a while ago, and we’re only just finding out now.