Barrett Brown's character assassinated by Kilgore Trout

Yesterday, Barrett Brown was Anonymously provided with alleged leaks from the US Chamber of Commerce. Brown did not pass the documents onto Anonymous. As expected, Anonymous did not take caution and widely publicized the documents before they had been examined.

The documents were encrypted and could only be read by entering the password BarrettBrown. This simple trick implicitly associated these bogus documents with Brown and gave them the superficial feel of sensitive information. As Anonymous wasted their time digging through the massive dump, they wrongly cursed the name of Barrett Brown.

These documents were nothing more than the Chamber of Commerce public record. As the only celebrity to be associated with Anonymous, Barrett Brown is an important target for those who would turn public opinion against Anonymous. Making Brown look incompetent is a painful blow directed at the name of Anonymous.

Some have speculated that contractors like HBGary are at work. It is not clear whether they may have been hired by the US Government, Sony, or the NZ Government. What is clear is the intent to squelch online democratic uprisings. This move fits their strategy and was possibly intended to dethrone Barrett Brown as spokesperson of Anonymous. However, our inside sources have found a different answer.

A writer for Chronicle.SU has taken credit for the phony leak.

“As the world’s greatest troll, I am myself untrollable. However, Barrett Brown is not such a savvy troll. I took it upon myself to troll Barrett Brown and make him look like a failure. It’s part of a psychotic plan I have to assert dominance over Anonymous. Having trolled the entirety of Anonymous ten times over, I have finally set my sights on their great leader. Anyone who takes documents to Anonymous instead of Wikileaks should be instantly ignored.” ~ Kilgore Trout

Anonymous vaporizes Sony, targets AT&T

Today the Supreme court voted along party lines to destroy consumer rights. The majority-holding republicans voted down a case that would allow class action lawsuits against corporations. It upholds the legality of contracts which force consumers into arbitration. Arbitration is a process through which big businesses anally rape the general public. The class action suit against AT&T reached the supreme court over a $30 fee that is still unexplained. The message from the Supreme Court is clear. Corporations can force you into a contract, take away your right to sue, and charge you a fee for it. And then anal rape you, and charge you an anal rape fee.

As soon as their pawns in the Supreme Court upheld corporate hegemony, AT&T revised its terms of service to give themselves the power to anal rape more viciously.

Not all is lost. Sonygate has prompted a democratic uprising for corporate justice. A lawsuit has been filed against Sony, which also includes forced anal rape in its terms of service. The behavior of Sony and AT&T may shift public opinion against corporations in a profound way.

Senator Blumenthal and Representative Johnson have introduced legislation that will fix the rule of law to make anal rape illegal. The legislation will disallow forced arbitration by terms of service, opening all corporations to class action lawsuits. Chronicle.SU opinion polls show that 99% of citizens believe that corporations should not be allowed the right to anal rape.

Meanwhile, Anonymous is organizing a DDoS that will disable AT&T’s call network to finally get revenge on smug iPhone users. In 1990, AT&T wrongly blamed a network outage on hackers, a move that led to the arrest of hundreds of hackers. Anonymous does not forget.

UPDATE: AT&T moves forward their plans on acquiring T-mobile to crush competition and consumers underneath their mighty feet.

My ideal president

I’d like to see a President self-destruct once in office.

The ideal President would/is/does:

  • Tear the oval office apart in fits of rage
  • Listen to Electric Wizard
  • Kick secretaries in the face
  • not try to conceal one blowjob, but demand them every hour, on the hour
  • drinks heavily
  • even uses cat tranquilizers and PCP
  • fights police
  • hates women
  • has kids and collects child support from his ex-wife
  • loses control in front of audiences and repeatedly uses racial epithets to describe his corporate bosses
  • liberal jew media
  • goes to visit his brother in prison, because he really, truly cares.
  • sleeps until 1 p.m. and plays Call of Duty for three hours before getting dressed for work
  • Doesn’t go to work
  • Ignores major responsibilities
  • eliminate deficit
  • acquire new, larger defecit

Anonymous announces endorsement for Grady Warren 2012

Today, Anonymous announced its support for the Tea Party’s greatest presidential hope: Grady Warren. Following the suit of Chronicle.SU, Anonymous has created #OpGradyWarren2012 to spread the message of racial hatred espoused by Grady Warren to every corner of the internet. This is in line with the factions of Anonymous who find this kind of shit hilarious and worthy of support.

Grady Warren is a Florida Community College alumnus. He currently works as a Sporting Goods Professional in Jacksonville, Fla. and is an outspoken member of the American Tea Party. Grady Warren has a simple, concise platform that Anonymous can get behind.

  • Deportation of Muslims
  • Deportation of Hispanics
  • Concentration camps for “Negras”
  • Concentration camps for Gays and Lesbians
  • Sexual fantasies about Sarah Palin
  • Voting rights only for educated Whites

See for yourself!

Reddit and Anonymous under attack, Sony suspected

Sonygate has sparked yet more cyber war. The popular social-hyperlinking site Reddit has featured a front page heavily dominated by bad press for Sony. Reddit has become a horrible reflection of the public relations nightmare facing Sony. Tens of thousands of angry comments expressing frustration for Sony’s lack of transparency and mishandling of public relations are now unavailable due to an apparent attack. Meanwhile, the IRC servers that give a centralized meeting point for the Anonymous collective also appear to be under attack. Both services may be available to some users but with greatly diminished functionality.

These apparent attacks could possibly be a direct action of Sony. Imagine that Sony transferred money to a third party that was opposed to Anonymous. There are many groups and individuals who have remained loyal to Sony and continue to believe the lie that Anonymous is actually to blame. This third party could then transfer the funds to criminal hackers, most likely in Eastern Europe, in exchange for access to a bot-net. A bot-net is a network of computers created by a computer worm that gives the owner the ability to overwhelm specific targets and deny service to normal users.

It is probable that and even Chronicle.SU will come under attack in the very near future. While Sony has likely made sure that blame cannot be traced back to them, public opinion is against them. Sony’s attempt to squelch negative material is just the type of behavior that has spurned customers to file a lawsuit earlier today.

Playstation Network users to file class action lawsuit

Today, Sony admitted that the recent breach in the Playstation Network compromised the personal information of its users. The information they fumbled includes full names, home addresses, birthdays, e-mails, logins, and passwords. While Sony has not been forthcoming about the safety of credit card information, they have admitted to the strong probability that this has also been compromised. Sony recommends that customers check their credit report. We must conclude the PSN credit card database has been entirely compromised, otherwise Sony would never ask its customers to check their credit reports.

Sony’s incompetence has led to the collective loss of privacy for 69 million people on PSN. It is safe to assume that this will most likely lead to financial losses in a significant proportion that may already be targets of identity theft and phishing. Even in the unlikely event that the credit card information is proven safe, PSN users have been the victims of Sony’s destructive incompetence. Representatives of the 69 million Playstation Network users are to file a class-action suit shortly. Sony will pay for the damages they have incurred. The masses will not be satisfied with small PSN trifles in exchange for network downtime. This is far beyond the scope of network downtime.

The lack of transparency Sony has shown is shocking. It is apparent that they have no regard for their own users and plot each statement carefully just to set up profitable public relations. The most likely scenario is that Sony has known all the facts for weeks. The DDoS attacks by Anonymous gave Sony their best chance to fix the situation quietly and without blame. However, Sony has misjudged the gullibility and timidity of their consumers. With the help of Anonymous, PSN users have angrily demanded answers to the right questions at the right time. Now they demand to be paid back for Sony’s failure. Anonymous is on the side of PSN users even though they were quick to wrongly blame Anonymous. Anonymous exists to make sure those who are damaged by Sony will be repaid. Anonymous will file the class action suit if no one else will. Many within Anonymous have also been harmed by Sony’s incompetence.



New Zealand's "anti-piracy" law destroys net neutrality

New Zealand’s Parliament has done much more than outlaw the sharing of copyrighted material with their recently adopted legislative amendment.

The government must now force all internet service providers to police their user base for bit torrents. Aside from the immediate cost to service providers, this will have far-reaching economic effects. The slowed growth of internet infrastructure will ultimately hurt all of New Zealand’s online business. This is an affront to a nation that is faced with economic crisis.

This policing of “pirates” will destroy the individual rights to privacy of law abiding individuals. Bit torrents are home to vast quantities of perfectly legal material in the public domain. Those who use bit torrents for any kind of material will become subject to intense surveillance of all their internet activities.

Not stopping at torrents, those who simply use too much bandwidth will be first warned and then charged with steep fines. Under the guise of “anti-piracy,” New Zealand has thrown away net neutrality. On September 1st, 2011, bandwidth will become a taxable commodity for New Zealand.

This same tactic, if proven viable, will likely be applied by other governments all over the world.

PSN credit card database compromised

Two days after shutting down PSN, Sony admitted to an event they described as an “external intrusion.” A million rape jokes and three days later, Sony will not come clean about what this means for the millions of customers who have their credit card information stored on PSN. There is no way for Sony to confirm that their customers’ credit card information is safe. As per usual, Sony has remained silent in hopes that this will be forgotten. Anonymous does not forget.

Anonymous has been very clear that it is in no way responsible for the most recent attacks on Sony. However, Anonymous takes responsibility for forcing Sony to reveal that the security of PSN was compromised. Anonymous shed the shackles of the Low Orbit Ion Cannon by using their voice to convince otherwise indifferent masses into asking Sony the right questions at the right time. Sony has failed their customers in a more profound way than when they sued GeoHotz.

It is true that Sony could have profited by shutting down its servers at a time when they knew Anonymous would take the blame. Now that Sony has admitted this isn’t the case, the consumers must ask what this means to their individual security. If I had made the mistake of giving Playstation Network my credit card information, I would be maxing the fucker out. Beats the shit out of paying for someone else’s hookers!

Anonymous may have spoiled gaming for a  day with the Low Orbit Ion Cannon and then made a fool of themselves with a Facebook Event that went south. But on the other hand, Sony has spoiled gaming for 5 days and accidentally dropped the credit card dox on all their own customers.