Internet Chronicle
Recently, Reddit sucked the last drop of funny out of rage comics. Rage comics are emoticon memes assembled into humorous stories. There was once a time when rage comics were original and made me laugh. Those days are dead.
With that, ladies and gentlemen, we must lay rage comics to rest in the graveyard of funny internet memes that have been thoroughly beaten to death. No, fuck that. They must be incinerated forever and stricken from archive.org. God help us.
Rupert Murdoch went out for blood on Monday. Murdoch personally ordered the death of whistle blower Sean Hoare to shore up internal threats to his organization. All employees of News Corp now live in fear of their master and Media Mogul.
The message intended is clear: Don’t be an insubordinate, the price is your life. News Corp will continue to force employees to hack important stories under the threat of death and the yoke of Murdoch.[pullquote]”I took Palladium for the courage to off Hoare myself” ~ Media Mogul[/pullquote]
Fox News reports said police showed up to the dead man’s house only to repeat the phrase “nothing suspicious,” over and over again, in spite of the undeniably suspicious circumstances. Forensic investigators showed up late as hell and hungover. Eyewitnesses reported that they didn’t really give a fuck about anything.
Murdoch is famous for injecting Polonium 210 into his hated enemies. Some have suggested that Murdoch poisoned Hoare himself while hopped up on Palladium during his near-death experience earlier today.
RUPERT MURDOCH HACKED 9/11 FAMILIES AND KILLED SEAN HOARE TO DEFUSE THE INTERNAL THERAT OF WHISTLEBLOWERS WITH FEAR. RUPERT MURDOCH HACKED 9/11 FAMILIES AND KILLED SEAN HOARE TO DEFUSE THE INTERNAL THERAT OF WHISTLEBLOWERS WITH FEAR. RUPERT MURDOCH HACKED 9/11 FAMILIES AND KILLED SEAN HOARE TO DEFUSE THE INTERNAL THERAT OF WHISTLEBLOWERS WITH FEAR. RUPERT MURDOCH HACKED 9/11 FAMILIES AND KILLED SEAN HOARE TO DEFUSE THE INTERNAL THERAT OF WHISTLEBLOWERS WITH FEAR. RUPERT MURDOCH HACKED 9/11 FAMILIES AND KILLED SEAN HOARE TO DEFUSE THE INTERNAL THERAT OF WHISTLEBLOWERS WITH FEAR. RUPERT MURDOCH HACKED 9/11 FAMILIES AND KILLED SEAN HOARE TO DEFUSE THE INTERNAL THERAT OF WHISTLEBLOWERS WITH FEAR. RUPERT MURDOCH HACKED 9/11 FAMILIES AND KILLED SEAN HOARE TO DEFUSE THE INTERNAL THERAT OF WHISTLEBLOWERS WITH FEAR. RUPERT MURDOCH HACKED 9/11 FAMILIES AND KILLED SEAN HOARE TO DEFUSE THE INTERNAL THERAT OF WHISTLEBLOWERS WITH FEAR. RUPERT MURDOCH HACKED 9/11 FAMILIES AND KILLED SEAN HOARE TO DEFUSE THE INTERNAL THERAT OF WHISTLEBLOWERS WITH FEAR. RUPERT MURDOCH HACKED 9/11 FAMILIES AND KILLED SEAN HOARE TO DEFUSE THE INTERNAL THERAT OF WHISTLEBLOWERS WITH FEAR.
mmmmm delicious copypasta
Remember all those shocking final goodbyes to to friends and family which were played by Fox News in the aftermath of 9/11? You might want to sit down.[pullquote]”The time has certainly come for Rupert Murdoch’s resignation.” -Sarah Palin[/pullquote] Fox hired hackers to acquire the audio, carelessly invading the privacy of American families and victims of terrorism. Rupert Murdoch personally approved of this tactic in a desperate bid to increase ratings. Back in 2001, Fox was not such a dominant force in the media. By hacking the phones of 9/11 victims, Fox News was able to gain a foothold.
Jesus would be ashamed of Rupert Murdoch. In fact, if Rupert Murdoch doesn’t repent soon, he will definitely go to hell. Phone hacking became like an addiction to Rupert Murdoch. He went after celebrity’s voicemail accounts, dead children’s cell phones, and pretty much hacked anything that moved.
The time has come for Rupert Murdoch to step down. Like Anthony Weiner, he has made a terrible mistake and no longer deserves his place of power. America deserves better. We are a Good Christian Nation, and Fox News has betrayed both our trust and the Freedom of Press.