Month: September 2011

Categories
Editorial Uncontrollable Patriotism

For the love of God, don’t masturbate or have sex on 9/11

Just do what it says.

There are a myriad of solid reasons NOT to enjoy sexual pleasure on 9/11, such as safety, respect and religious zeal. Even more importantly, everyone knows that those who engage in sexual activity on 9/11 do not care about all the innocent people who died on 9/11. It was the day that everything changed. When those towers came down, American flags came out. Even so, one must completely refrain from masturbation, intercourse, and all forms of sexual stimulation on 9/11 in order to observe the holiday righteously.

First of all, it’s 9/11. Terror alerts will be raised and threats will be made. 9/11 is not a day on which it is wise to let one’s guard down. By masturbating or having sex on 9/11, citizens will put themselves in danger. Don’t take the risk of being caught unprepared. In the likely event of a terror attack, masturbation or sex is a deadly mistake. Stay safe on 9/11.

Secondly, how could anyone even masturbate with the endless inescapable thoughts of the innocent dead? Only a twisted and disturbed individual would be able to achieve orgasm on 9/11. It is despicable for anyone to forget about 9/11. Everyone knows the first rule of 9/11 is never forget, and breaking that rule is just as bad as having sex on 9/11. The guilt and shame should be so pervasive as to completely eliminate any Patriotic American’s sex drive.

Thirdly, we must remember always that Jesus is watching. Jesus might let a little masturbation slip by every now and then, but know that masturbation on 9/11 will earn you his hatred and a ticket straight to hell. Should a child be conceived on 9/11, the implications could be dangerous, if not deadly. At the very least, the child would likely grow up to become a converted Muslim. Worst case scenario, the evil of a couple knowingly enjoying sex on 9/11 would create a demonic portal through which the devil could plant the seed of the Antichrist. Fucking on 9/11 could mean the end of the world.

If someone enjoys sexual pleasure on 9/11, it is immediately apparent to those of us who are appropriately guilt-ridden and fear-stricken. The person who defiles 9/11 appears smarmy and cock-sure as if he or she has forgotten about 9/11. The devil turns bodies into empty casks and fills them with demons. Don’t even think of masturbating on 9/11.

Categories
News Obituaries

9/11 demons herald Muslim invasion

Welcome to Ground Zero, the sanctuary of holy American blood

Corrupt politicians are planning 9/11 memorial services without Clergy present. This is yet another sad consequence of the pervasive Marxism of the left. We can all either thank Obama for ruining the tenth anniversary of 9/11, or we, the Tea Party, must take it back.

Lucifer’s servants in the Middle East celebrated in the streets while the Christian world mourned. The demons which escaped were a sign from God that the end-times are near, and Obama is the half Muslim Antichrist.

Osama Bin Laden's face is clearly seen here.

Do you know what kind of life a Christian has in Muslim countries? Christians are persecuted by Muslims every day. Yet we allow Muslims to walk around as if they own this country because of bleeding-heart Liberals. Have we forgotten 9/11?

On that fateful day, I remember seeing debris fall from the buildings, and I did not realize at first that these were actually people choosing to jump to their deaths. They were tempted by Satan with suicide, easy death, and when their bodies hit the ground, their souls continued falling and went straight to hell.

Pure evil was unleashed from the vaporization of Muslim terrorists and expelled in the form of a hateful, sneering smoke face.

The events of 9/11 rocked me to my core. Everything changed. I knew America was under attack and the terrorists must pay. Somebody had to be brought to justice and I did not like the way Muslims were celebrating this horrible disaster. These pictures of demons are simple proof that Muslims are in fact servants of the devil, deserving of the divine justice America has served.

This is why we need prayer at all 9/11 memorial services. Demons have not left Ground Zero, they have only set up shop. The Ground Zero mosque is for some reason allowed where where no Christian prayer may be read. We must take back Ground Zero from the demons and sanctify it once more with the prayers of a Christian Nation.

The Ghost of the World Trade center still carries on, despite the presence of demons.

Amen.

 

Categories
News

If Hell’s really as nice as they say. It doesn’t need all these people going there.

They’ll just ruin it. They won’t appreciate it.

People can’t even stop to appreciate something as nice for them as Hell itself.

“This place was reserved just for me!” They’ll say. But having

Rumself said shot 93 was flown down.

That’s not to say there’s anything useful or even remotly charming about Government issue sneakers. Those are wrong, ugly and violate natural codes of ethics, morals and decency. They are straight up fucking indecent. Additionally, people who don’t cover their mouths while – wait, are you awake? Hey.