ALASKA — Sunday, Edward Snowden was taken into custody by Anchorage Police, arriving in Alaska early in the morning in a black unmarked helicopter. Snowden says he is glad he can now face a fair prosecution, as he hopes his latest documents will vindicate everything.
Snowden spoke, passing out a fresh cache of the most secret White House documents to reporters, “These documents show the White House itself considers terrorism to be mere ‘smoke and mirrors’.”
Snowden looked directly into the cameras and spoke calmly, as police looked on too shocked to stop him from speaking, “America’s most deadly important security threat has been Methane deposits, known as clathrates, that are detonating in Siberia under mysterious conditions. The White House is afraid Vladimir Putin is working with a previously unknown intelligent species living beneath the earth’s crust called the Chelovozyom. In the most terrifying of scenarios, Vladimir Putin and the Chelovozyom are working together to deterraform North America, which will become nothing but deserts and ice within just one generation. There are massive chemtrailing defense programs carried out by the US military to attempt to counteract the effects of climate warfare, but each year of chemtrailing only cancels out the detonation of one methane calthrate, and hundreds of clathrates are detonating each month.
Climatologist Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador told reporters, “We don’t believe so-called incidental human activated climate change could ever cause the rapid shift in temperatures needed to detonate methane calthrates, and the only explanation possible is purposeful exploitation of these resources to terraform Siberia in a way that is most favorable for Russians and least favorable for North America. So science can back up those claims by Edward Snowden. It is true. North America will be glaciers and deserts very soon, and no amount of chemtrails can stop it now. As for the Chelovozyom, Edward Snowden and seemingly the White House have likely taken some very convincing bait, and I’ll believe it when the Chelovozyom appear on Oprah to greet humanity.”
11 replies on “Snowden flees Russia, returns to face prosecution in the US, and reveals sinister Russian deterraforming plot”
Unfortunately I can still see Russia from my backyard :::prays for a nuclear winter:::
Is that Chemtrails or ChemTAILS? Asking for a tinfoiler.
All good journalists know to use chemtails with pgp encryption
O’rly http://patterico.com/2006/07/27/annotated-wuzzadem-the-facts-behind-the-greenwald-sock-puppetry/
Holy fucking shit. That is an authentic, digital puppet show on the world wide web. No way. That is unbelievable. Is what the puppets say, is it true?
PardonA moi, a comment from either of you, fishfag or hatesoc on this latest dose of the antichrist’s narcissistic faggotry http://www.newsweek.com/assange-how-guardian-milked-edward-snowdens-story-323480
**yawns**
HACKTIVISTS THREATEN TO TARGET LAW ENFORCEMENT PERSONNEL AND PUBLIC OFFICIALS http://www.ic3.gov/media/2015/150421.aspx
http://wfmu.org/wfmu.pls
The introduction of the alien narrative at the beginning of an election cycle http://www.reuters.com/video/2015/05/07/never-before-seen-photos-of-alleged-alie?videoId=364146512
[…] “Sunday, Edward Snowden was taken into custody by Anchorage Police, arriving in Alaska early in the morning in a black unmarked helicopter. Snowden says he is glad he can now face a fair prosecution, as he hopes his latest documents will vindicate everything. Snowden spoke, passing out a fresh cache of the most secret White House documents to reporters, “These documents show the White House itself considers terrorism to be mere ‘smoke and mirrors’.” Snowden looked directly into the cameras and spoke calmly, as police looked on too shocked to stop him from speaking, “America’s most deadly important security threat has been Methane deposits, known as clathrates, that are detonating in Siberia under mysterious conditions. The White House is afraid Vladimir Putin is working with a previously unknown intelligent species living beneath the earth’s crust called the Chelovozyom. In the most terrifying of scenarios, Vladimir Putin and the Chelovozyom are working together to deterraform North America, which will become nothing but deserts and ice within just one generation. There are massive chemtrailing defense programs carried out by the US military to attempt to counteract the effects of climate warfare, but each year of chemtrailing only cancels out the detonation of one methane calthrate, and hundreds of clathrates are detonating each month.” – link […]