Lord Joplin of the United Kingdom and member of NATO parliament recently drafted a general report updating the organization on information security. While there were many truthful and honest arguments about war in cyberspace, it largely consisted of language aimed at destroying free speech. I have taken the time to sift out the most blatant lies from Lord Joplin.
“Despite its inherent advantages, this dependence on information technology has also made state and society much more vulnerable to attacks such as computer intrusions, scrambling software programs, undetected insiders within computer firewalls, or cyber terrorists. The Internet is inherently insecure as it was designed as a benign enterprise of information exchange, a decentralized patchwork of systems that ensures relative anonymity. It is ill-equipped to trace perpetrators or to prevent them from abusing the intrinsic openness of the cyber domain.”
Everything Lord Joplin says applies to the printing press and the copying machine. These are inventions that totalitarian states have always sought to control and destroy. Be honest, Lord Joplin, the world is ill-equipped to trace perpetrators of ideas because ideas are ephemeral.
As mentioned above, the Information Age has brought about an environment that has made the state and society more vulnerable to digital attacks. They are vulnerable because we no longer keep our files and data in a shelf, but in a virtual world accessible from any one of the world’s corners.
Oh, so someone like Daniel Elsberg can’t go into a shelf and copy all the data on a copying machine with the help of his children? This is a blatant lie, from a monarchist! Go crush a printing press, you’ll feel better!
“The Information Age and its transparent nature may, for example, prevent diplomats from conducting “business as usual” such as making off-the-record statements or engaging in frank discussions with their colleagues.”
Oh no, I can’t be honest anymore with this information age breathin’ down my neck! Fuck’s sake, are you tweeting what I just said? Better keep on lying, damned information age’s fault, not mine!
“Transparency cannot exist without control. The government, and especially its security agencies, must have the right to limit access to information in order to govern and to protect. This is based on the premise that states and corporations have the right to privacy as much as individuals do and that secrecy is required for efficient management of the state institutions and organizations.”
Firstly, transparency only exists without your control, and you are the worst liar ever. Corporations have a right to privacy. Fuck no they don’t. Privacy from their stockholders? Their customers? I think we need a bill of rights for corporations – a bill that takes away their rights. Corporations don’t have the right to suck my dick! They’ve got the right to sell me Coca Cola and past that they don’t have shit.
“…Transparency can be misused on several levels – by providing unprofessional or poor-quality interpretation of information or documents, by conducting superficial or biased analysis, by lack of experience on the topic or by pursuing a political agenda.”
Transparency can be misused, but people can just make up lies without transparency anyway. Last time I checked, the nightly news was more twisted than ever because of political agendas. Did you know that the political parties are paying off the news? Oh, that’s right, they’re corporations, they have the right. Why “misuse” transparency when you can just make shit up to get ratings and scare people? Transparency can be misused, but so can Plutonium. Which one’s going to hurt people, power[expletive]?
Cut us some slack, you twisted little power maniac. You’re a printing press smasher in the age of the Internet. What’re you going to do? Start ramming rockets down our chimneys like Gaddafi? You power mongering maniacs are all the same, in your pathetic little core. I would not even dignify you with a punch to the face or even a kick to the balls. Violence is what gets you off.