Author: Hatesec

I am the hatest

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News

Lebal Drocer, attorney at law says: Just use a ‘burner’ phone, bro

Noam Chomsky said “society is to be dismantled and replaced with nothing by sundown” in a recently typed order to his black bloc legion.

Lebal Drocer attorneys have blacked out all windows and severed communications from the outside. Through a one-way radio, Raleigh T. Hatesec barks orders to a pig army, starving for his attention.

Armed gunmen are closing in on the premises from no general direction, really – just gunning for power pigs and capitalist pimp hustlers – and they threaten to take over the means of production!

What is to be done about these unapologetic miscreants? Why, name them on Twitter, I say. DOX THEM into the system! YOU CAN NOT FIGHT THE SYSTEM! YOU ARE BECOME MY SYSTEM NOW.

No, that’s … too sinister. I won’t allow it.

Make it more so the people we destroy are toxic threats to total disorder.  We’ll herd them into ‘stables’ where things are chill, and totally fine what goes on inside.

That’s what the good men and beautiful women of Lebal Drocer say! And it bears repeating.

The people we destroy are toxic threats to disorder.

This is an erroneous interpretation of pure anarchy. Let’s give it some love, though, for Lebal Drocer, Inc.

They paraded those women out like cats, didn’t they? The beautiful women of Lebal Drocer are rumored to appear on this year’s Soviet Catwalk, новости where Jessica will finally give us a glimpse into the musical number for which she has been practicing since her mother and father put her to work learning violin, at age 4. She, and her people, have come so far since back then.

That’s all for Internet Chronicle tonight. Please join us again as we self-investigate an invented troll crisis dressed as the trolls themselves! KILGOAR Reports LIVE from the inside (of many fine ladies)!

Chomsky said (he said this directly to me): Read widely.

Well, I have news for you, Mr. Chomsky, I’m reading as wide as I can, and the WALL STILL AIN’T LONG ENOUGH.

Raleigh T. Hatesec

The root’nest and toot’nist mean one of the bunch

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Categories
Politics

Ye fiyad: Steve Bannon terminated when adults enter Oval Office

Throughout his life and career, Steve Bannon practiced looking old. “And then one day,” he said, “it just happened.

WASHINGTON, D.C.–Globalist hologram Donald Trump, who simply could not pass up last week’s opportunity for “biggest termination yet,” held a private White House ceremony, where the Trump cabinet bore witness to the “degrading, pathetic and shameful” termination of Steve Bannon, the parrot who fed Trump talking points about issues ranging from global warming to isolationist policy.

The media is hush on reasons behind Bannon’s possible firing. No one is ready to talk about it, but some have acknowledged it has a “you done fucked up, son” sort of vibe about it.

One source, however, discussed the ceremony under the condition of anonymity, because of their close association with the current administration’s line of executive, jewel-encrusted cat litter boxes, and because the media should keep its mouth shut.

“They took Stevie to the back first,” the source told Internet Chronicle on Saturday. “I don’t know what they done to him, but when Stevie came out, he looked like he’d been touched, sexually, by an angel. It was beautiful.”

The source told Internet Chronicle nude figures in hooded cloaks surrounded Bannon, chanting the DOW Industrial Average in realtime as they closed in on him.

“Then they pulled up the sheets they were wearing, they squatted down, and took turns defecating on his face,” the source said. “One by one, ExxonMobil executives and defense contractors took turns dehumanizing the little old feller until he refused to talk. They were yelling at him, too, going, ‘Money [T]rumps ideology!’ It really worked us all up into a sympathy for him, after it was over.”

The source said there is no way to tell whether the corrective Oval Office ceremony will have any lasting effect on Bannon’s mental health, but already, other radical media personalities are feeling the sting of timeout, as Adults from the Government entered the room.

Alex Jones descended into an uncharacteristic tirade last week, when it looked like White House access could leave with Steve Bannon. All the toys were out, when the Daddies got home.

“It was balls out, man. Balls out.”

Trump is playing the quiet game, now that it looks like crazy baby missiles can hit California. Un awaits…

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Categories
Technology

Senate votes to protect Internet advertisers from dangerous consumer privacy

The tyranny of Internet privacy is over!

Dangerous regulations threatening to choke out competition, innovation and prosperity were removed last week, permitting American Internet service providers to sell your browsing history to anyone who can afford it.

Whereas there once existed a confusing, government-mandated checkbox de-authorizing ISPs to sell your Internet history to advertisers or interested parties, a recent bill – passed by congress and signed into law by President Trump – removed the legally required checkbox, clearing up any confusion around whether consumer privacy is actually protected by law, and assures all Americans that it is not.

Anti-privacy groups are relieved by the passage of a bill that allows the sale of your web history, content of your online activity, and any personally identifying information.
Anti-privacy groups are relieved by the passage of a bill that allows the sale of your web history and any content of your online activity, along with all personally identifying information.

“American consumers should not have to be lawyers or engineers to figure out if their information is protected,” said FCC Chairman Ajit Pai. “They can now rest assured it is not.” Pai added that he is trying to protect consumers from overreaching Internet regulations that unfairly protected subscribers’ “privacy” from well-meaning, constructive, and benevolent Internet service monopolies.

If any of you Silicon Valley utopioids think you’ve found a magical cloak from “surveillance” or “data theft,” experts warn you should think twice before plucking wicked instruments from the Devil’s toolbox.

“Let it be known using a VPN will only flag you for closer inspection,” advised Dr. Angstrom Troubadour of the Electronic Frontier Foundation, which could bring unwanted scrutiny to the very browsing habits you might pay to protect.

“If you’re not doing anything wrong, you have nothing to hide,” Troubadour said. “So if they see you hiding something, they’re going to want to know what that is. It doesn’t matter whether you’re doing taxes, compulsively checking symptoms at WebMD, or emailing your exes. If they see you tunneling traffic through VPNs or TOR, they’re just going to assume you’re buying drugs on the Silk Road and spanking your monkey to child porn. Not to mention, by using VPN you rob well-meaning Internet service providers of hard-earned profits they might otherwise enjoy by selling your data to pharmaceutical companies and consumer research groups. That simply will not do. Mark my words, VPN users: They’re coming for you.”

This message is brought to you proudly by Lebal Drocer Communications.

You work for us now.