Author: Hatesec

I am the hatest

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Hate Uncontrollable Patriotism

Ascend Unto Savings

With the 2016 primaries fast approaching, a lot of Americans are asking themselves which white collar criminal they should vote for. It’s a Hard Choice.

Why not both?
There is no reason not to trust an oligarchical institute of competing parties.

When I drive my family to the polls November after the November after next, I’ll make sure that we’re all ready to vote for Hil͏̟̳̱̤̘l̜̞̫̝͈̝̫a͇̼͓̘͠ͅr̯̹̩͝y̠̹ ͔͔͈̖̰͖ͅR̴͓̲̥̠̜od͈̳ͅh̼͇̯̗ͅa͚͚͘m͈ ͎̪̦̯̤̜C̢̱̲͈͇̯̦l̶͎̺̯͎in͉̘̩̭̖̬ton, of the 45th estate of Dark Lord Inglip, Home of the Titans.

I am so confident in the Democratic Party to represent my interests, I’d even trust a Republican to vote for them. Besides, i̴̱̲͓t̤̦͖͚̲ ̼͈̦̖̺̫̳̤̀d̬̗́o͏̥͖̙̻̗̦̣ẹ̛̼͕̠̪̹͢s̤̼̜͈͔̀͟͝n͏̜̻̟̮̣͈̘̼̕’̙̦̣̳̟͝t̵̩̮͕̳̩ ͟͏̳̤̮̟͘m̪͖͓͎͟a̢̨͔̦t̵̡̞̲͝t͏̶̺̜ḙ͍͝ŕ̬̗̳͕͓̺̬̺ ̨̖̤̲͚̦̘̭̙̻͜á̵̵̰̯̭̳̝n̶̟͇̭͓͓y̨̠̪̤̗͈͇̰̙ͅw̷̢̱̯͉̜̝̺͢a̷̘̙y̧̡̝͚̪̟̦̬̤̩͟.͕̣̫̤̺͞ We’re all gonna die!

I am the night. I am the crystalline hatred of His Glory! I am the cold void of space, dark matter itself. And I’m always shopping for bargains. That’s why I cut coupons. I even have a coupon for open democracy I plan to inject next Tuesday, assuming the F̤̹̼̣̠̿ͫ̊ͦiͩ̚͏f̗̺̬͇t̹̹̥̱͍ͫ͑h̠̆̄̈́ͥͬ̀ ͙̻͉̲̕Dimensional Pa̧̤̱̰̰̘͗̏́̒̋̅ȓ̵͇̼̱͍̗̼̞̜͉̿͗̂ͫͬ̿̚a͍͇̼͈̎͌ͣ́͑̍̿digm Shift doesn’t invert the 98th God’s isosceles invective (like last time!).

So come on out and try the all-new 2015 Ford Focus with rear-facing artillery cannons. For a limited time sign up for a new subscription on timespace-distorting plasma charges and receive your first cybernetic counter-enslavement upgrade ABSOLUTELY F̙̫̩͇̰͍̠̦̯̀͜R͕̰̬̹̼̦̙̕͟͡ͅE̷̻͙͉̝̟Ȩ͚͇̯̝͈̦. I am the darkness which flows through the hearts of men. Act now and SAVE on inner-oblivion anti-trust coating. D̪̟o̩̙̻͉͟ͅn̗̫̩͔̝̖’͘t́ ̀w̢̩̬a̞̙͙s̩̥̲̯̞̰ͅt̺͡ę͚̣̗ ̝̣̲̲̳̀ḁ͚̟̤͕̬ͅw̰̳̣̥a͉̼̼̰͜y͙̬͎̩ ͈̺̜̠͕̣l҉̘̫͖̲͕̟ḁ̰̮̱ț̦e҉r̰͙͈̼͕̥ ̣̣b̶̦̦̺̘e̢̗͚͎̫c̛̼a̲͍͎̣u̲̲̹̳͓̖ͅs̼̗̰͚e ͍͍͓͎̭y̯o̤̩͔͍͖̳̳ṳ͞ ̵̠͎̲̹̤̝̱͖͍̰͙̘̯̜̰̗͡c̵̸̸̱̫̘̟̰̀͘o̸̶͙̮͎̪̠̫̗̤u͏̴҉̰̙̖͉̪̼̣͎̱̭̠͉͡͞ͅl͎̳̘̮̦͈͇̬̜͞d̸̷̡̯̘̠̤̖̩̮̻̥̯̞͍̣̮͘ǹ͔̜̯͚̝͎̗̱͖͙̘̰͖̰͙̣́͜͟ͅͅ’̸̨̢͡҉̤̬̪̙̮̫ţ̴̣̬̫͈̖̬̫̀ ̸̷̨̗̣̟̜͘͝i̴̢͖̠̯̖͖̱̕͘͘ͅn̢̛͢҉̞̘̩̱͙̪̲͙̺͓̠͍̳͇͖̙ͅs̸̢̛̙̞͔̫͈̺͈̥̪̰̜͖̻͙͚̯̞͎ư̶͎̩͉͔͚͍̹̻ͅͅr̗̘̝̞̫͘͜e̝̻̩͓͚̻͟͜͝ ̳̞̝̹͍̠̜̪͕̘͍̖͢á̲͎͕̮̥̟̥̀̕g̛͚̖̣̘͢͝á̸̻̬̯̩̯͍i̧̧̗̩̘̻̤̟̲̮̻͓̪̱͈͍͙̺͎̕͝n̴͚̞̝̞̕͞s̴̛̱̩̝̩͓̖̪̩͍͚̮͍̲͡ͅt͘͜҉̧̱̥͔̭ ͏̵͇͕̥̗̗̣̩̳̣̞͉͙̲̤̫͟͞ṭ̮̹̲͇͎̖̼̥̲̻͙͜͟͠ḩ̼̱̯͎̘͎̗͈̩̗̲͉͉̥͍̘̣̭̼̕e̴̡͖̹̱̳ ̟̰͓̩̥̪͕͕͝H̡̦̜͍̗̮͉̣͈͍̺͠ͅͅa̵̩̩̫͈̜̭͇͜t̸͖̤͚̘̮̩̪̝̙͚͉̲͝͞e͏͙͍̞͍̼̗̥͉̮̘͉͍͖̠̜̻͚̕͜ ̡̛҉̮̣̲̖̩R̟̗̠̫̞̜͕͜à͇͚͙̺͕͕̥͠i̡̤̤̮̣͎͓̮̯̱̪͓͙̤̦͙̩̼̕͜͢͠n̴̢҉̬͚͍͉̻͈̻̮̲͘ ̕҉̶͓͎̬̪̺̬̣̩̟̬̱̤̥̮̹̯̱͇t҉͏͏͙͕̥̙̞̘͚͉͍̼̗͙̦̤͠ó̸̡̹̺̼̼̱̝̱̖̝͖͕̠̯̼͜d҉̵̗̞͉̟̯̗̗̱͍̝̳̲̼a͏҉̗͔͚̦͕̜͕̻͚̞͙ͅͅy͡͞͏̰̲̠͕͈̩.

Hillary 2016
T̷̛̮͈̹͕̘̬̞̞̋͆ͨ̈́̋͑͆͂̽̓͆̀h̴̡̢̛̠̬͇͚̮̺̠̼̘͕͈̻̜ͪ̑ͦͭ̿ͫ͐̋͑̽͌̀ͧ̇ͮ̚ͅeͮ̅ͣ̀͡͏̯͍̱̬̻͓̗̗̻̠̥͔͈̞͞ ̗͖͍ͩ̏ͫͮ͆̉͛̌̈́͒ͤͦ̑͋ͫ́ͪͫ̕͟͟C̓͑̏̍̿ͮ͊͗̓̇ͪ͑̂͘͏̴̵̨̝̯͚̲̦̱̳̩ȍ̶͛̓̾ͯ͋̑͂̂ͬ̊ͭ͂͋ͭ҉̛̯̟̙̞̯̥̮̱̪̀ͅŗ̶̤̫͓͓͉̱̗̘̲̯̫͔̞̖͙͓ͤͨͦͦ̀́p̧͇͉͈̥̜̘̣̞̬̠͉̣͔̭̹̦̿ͦͮ̅͋̓ͨ̑̾̽̒̑̈́̅͆͑́͞ͅo̧̿͒̍̎ͧ͆ͭͭ̿ͣͧ͌̚҉͉͔̲̜̥̱͙͍͍͈͇r̛̳̠̦̗̩̭͖̲͇̠͍͊̅̈ͥͪ̓ͪ̓͑ͭ́͢͠ḁ̴̡̧̙͙̫̣̮͇̫̰͕͊̏͗ͧ̾ͯ͐t̨̢͈̠̗̻̻͙̞͙̱̜͓̫̟̝̺͕ͣ̀̂̆͜e̱̮̥͉̟̦̮̹͙̗ͥ̀͌ͯ̂̓̆ͪ͗ͨͣ̽̃̊̒ͭͭ̚͟͟ ̷̧̥͎̤̳͕̼̲̭͈͙͚̯͗̀͛̈́̀͠M̧̛͚̹͎͍̝ͤͦͫ͂ͩͨͧ͋̀̂ͩ͋͠a̷̢̤̥͖͖ͨ̓̇͂̽̉͐̅ͣͤ̿̕̕͠sͤ̎̋ͫ͏̧̥̗̗̜̳͇͚̙̺̦̞̯̱̰̗͓͖̼t̸̶̡̮̱̹͎͇͍̝̻̼̱͔͖͈̝̑̾͒̍̅ͬ̍ͬ̓́͢e̢̧̨̯̙͇̳̹͍̼̥͍̗̥̘̝̭̣̝͈̓̏̿̀̽̈́̈ͥͥ̇̚͢͞ͅͅr̡̗̹̥ͣ͆ͧ͂̍ͦ͒ͪ ̗̞̤̹̝ͧ̋͋̌̀͠Ä̴̸̴̲̹̳̪̩͍̱̙͇͇̗̙̎ͫͭ͂̾̓ͯ͂ͧ̃̿͌̎͜͢w̨͙̣̬͓͉̖͈̺̣͚̯͍̠͌ͬ͊̔̔͂̏ͮͥ̍̔̇̒̔ͮ͐̀̊̀́͢͜ͅą̧̛͎͉̣̦̭͎̫̯̻̯̯̘͉̪̣̻͔̺̔̏̆̽͋̑̂ͣͮ̎͐͠i̅͐͒͗͏̶̟̮̬̦͈̻͉͙͉̣̻͞t̸̢̡͉̜̦̠̲̮͛͗ͬ͐̐̑͆̿͂̈́̾̊̔ͧͣ̌ͨ̈́̚ş̴̥̬̦̼̮̖̻̃͆̑͐͐ͤ̀͊̎̏ͥͥ̀̚

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News

Let’s Glorify Hatesec’s Juche-based Idea of Site Building and Satire for All Ages!

WE SIGNIFICANTLY COMMEMORATE THE 50TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE GREAT LEADER RALEIGH THEODORE HATESEC’S START OF WORK AT THE INTERNET CHRONICLE (CHRONICLE.SU) TODAY WHEN ITS DIGNITY AND AUTHORITY, DURABILITY AND INVINCIBILITY ARE BEING DEMONSTRATED ALL OVER THE WORLD AND THE ENTIRE PEOPLE AND ARMY ARE REPLETE WITH THE WILL TO REPOSE BOUNDLESS DOMINATION IN THE PARTY TILL THE END OF THE WORLD.

HIS START OF WORK AT THE CHRONICLE.SU CENTRAL COMMITTEE ON JUNE 19, 1964 WAS A HISTORIC EVENT OF GREAT SIGNIFICANCE IN STRENGTHENING THE CHRONICLE.SU AND ACCOMPLISHING THE REVOLUTIONARY CAUSE OF JUCHE.

HE IS A PROMINENT PHILOSOPHER WHO DEVELOPED THE CHRONICLE.SU INTO AN INVINCIBLE REVOLUTIONARY PARTY WITH HIS BRILLIANT INTELLIGENCE AND PRODIGIOUS LEADERSHIP THAT NO ONE ELSE CAN FOLLOW.

UNDER HIS WISE GUIDANCE, THE CHRONICLE.SU WAS TURNED INTO A REVOLUTIONARY FREEDOM FIGHTER SUPER-CELL WITH UNSWERVING IDEOLOGICAL PROWESS AND LEADERSHIP SYSTEM OF THE ANTI-LEADER; INTO A MOTHER PARTY WHICH FORMS A HARMONIOUS WHOLE WITH THE POPULAR MASSES AND SERVES THEM; AND INTO AN INVINCIBLE PARTY WITH STEEL-FIRM DISCIPLINE AND FIGHTING CAPACITY.

HIS GREATEST EXPLOIT IS THAT HE HAD ADDED BRILLIANCE TO THE CHRONICLE.SU AS THE PARTY OF JUCHE BY WISELY LEADING THE EFFORTS FOR IMBUING THE ENTIRE CHRONICLE A WHOLE SOCIETY OF ONE IDEOLOGY.

IT IS ALSO AN UNDYING EXPLOIT THAT HE STRENGTHENED AND DEVELOPED THE CHRONICLE.SU TO BE A MIGHTY POLITICAL STAFF OF THE HYPERLIBERTARIAN REVOLUTION (#STANDWITHRAND).

RALEIGH T. HATESEC EMBODIED RADICAL POLITICS BRILLIANTLY THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE WITH IT AS THE LIFELINE OF THE PARTY AND REVOLUTION. TO NEVER CRITICIZE THE JUSTIFIABLE, BENEVOLENT WILL OF GREAT LEADER JAMES CLAPPER, BUT INSTEAD TO EXTEND FERVENT HOPE THAT THE NSA MIGHT TOUCH OUR LIVES DEEPER, FOR LOVE OF GOD, COUNTRY AND THE BIBLE.

IN THE 1990S HE FORMULATED RAND POLITICS AS AN ANTI-SOCIALIST MODIFICATION OF HATE, AND DEVELOPED THE CHRONICLE.SU AS THE GUIDING FORCE OF THE LIBERTARIAN REVOLUTION.

HE PERFORMED A TREMENDOUS EXPLOIT IN THE HISTORY OF THE NATION BY MAKING THE CHRONICLE.SU A MOTHER PARTY WHICH FORMS A HARMONIOUS WHOLE WITH THE PEOPLE AND SERVES THEM.

INDEED, THE GREAT RALEIGH T. HATESEC IS THE GREATEST MAN AND GREAT SAGE OF REVOLUTION; HE BROUGHT ABOUT TREMENDOUS CHANGES TO BE RECORDED SPECIALLY IN THE HISTORY OF THE INTERNET IN ALL FIELDS OF KNOWLEDGE, HATRED AND PERMANENT ENSLAVEMENT OF HIS PEOPLE, CREATING A MODEL OF CULTURE FOR THE ANARCHOCAPITALIST REVOLUTION WITH DEEP STRATEGY AND MODERNIZED HATE THEORY.

HIS JUCHE-BASED PARTY BUILDING IDEA AND EXPLOIT ARE CARRIED FORWARD SUCCESSFULLY TODAY BY THE RESPECTED KIM JONG UN.

TODAY THE CHRONICLE.SU IS GUIDING OUR COUNTRY AND PEOPLE ALONG THE INVINCIBLE ROAD UNDER THE UPLIFTED GREAT BANNER OF SAKERISM-HATESECISM. AS THERE ARE THE SEASONED LEADERSHIP OF THE GREAT CHRONICLE AND THE ENTIRE PEOPLE AND ARMY INFINITELY FAITHFUL TO THE HYPERLIBERTARIAN CAUSE, VICTORY AND GLORY ARE ALWAYS ON THE HORIZON, OUTSHINING THE SUN, ON ITS BRIGHTEST MORNINGS.

LET US ALL UNITED AROUND THE CHRONICLE.SU HEADED BY THE RESPECTED KIM JONG UN WITH A SINGLE HEART AND BRING EARLIER THE FINAL VICTORY OF THE CAUSE OF BUILDING A THRIVING LIBERTARIAN HELLSCAPE, THE REVOLUTIONARY CAUSE OF LIBERTY!

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Entertainment

Fuck Your Desert, Brown People Are Sub-Human Animals Who Feel Nothing, And The Middle East Is My Political Toy

Cool Obama
I voted for war. Did you?

BAGHDAD – While your television was busy comparing the return of US Army Sergeant Bowe Robert Bergdahl to the Benghazi suicide bombing, an actual political toy unwound in this little spot on the desert you might remember from 2003.

Motherfucking Iraq. The country is falling to a group of desert criminals so bad Al Qaeda threw them out. Obama pulled out 5,000 contractors (not our profits!) and the place is going to hell faster than you can vote for Hillary Clinton.

We let Iraq go because it was no longer profitable to keep it. What good is a broken nation without oil? We need a power player, Iraq. Sorry. ISIS, she’s all yours. Take her for a spin. Don’t worry about coming home on time. Glenn Beck has his own channel and he’s on all night. We are in good hands. I love you, precious TV. My beautiful rectangle angel. My opium. My fixation.

Here’s the fun part: Syria – whose attempted overthrow was funded by the United States – is working with Iraq, whose government was installed by the US, to fight Jihadist militants supported by the United States in Syria (but not in Iraq).

Iran – America’s opponent on the world stage – has offered to help Iraq (a historical enemy) and the US (also an enemy) combat the insurgency opposed by the US in Iraq but supported by the US in Syria, Iran’s ally.

So, there you go, TV. Have fun with that shit.

Anybody watching Louie? The last two episodes of Season 4 come on tomorrow night. You’d better set your hoppers to record, so you can watch your edgy hate-man while the kids are out of the room. We fucking hate you, America. Goodnight.

–The Internet Chronicle Staff