Category: Editorial

It means ‘opinion,’ dumbass.

Categories
Hate

Kim Dotcom is just another white collar 1% criminal

We don't own the copyright to this image. Unfair use.

Federal agents have come down hard on Megaupload, seizing every little bit of property they can get their grubby fed hands  on. Anonymous has unleashed the floodgates of cyberhell, causing its collective consciousness to go into a raging seizure, lashing out at anything and everything that moves. DDoS attacks on three letter government web servers have been the major response, but the latest victim, CBS, was temporarily deleted. These attacks, dubbed #OpMegaUpload, come in the wake of the internet’s defining moment of activism, in which Wikipedia and Google participated in a blackout to spread awareness about the Stop Online Piracy Act.

What Anonymous hasn’t looked into, however, is the man they are defending. Kim Dotcom, owner of Megaupload, is an obese multimillionaire and also the world’s top player of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. He has such incredibly bad taste that he fills his front yard with life-size statues of giraffes. Both bad taste and insane amounts of for-profit piracy are completely forgivable, and should not be held against Kim Dotcom. Editor’s note: I’m going to miss watching Star Trek: The Next Generation on MegaVideo, knowing that the ad revenue is buying some fat hick the ultimate lawn ornament arrangement.

Kim Dotcom is not just guilty of crimes we all agree with, but he has also participated in some very typically 1% criminal behavior we must condemn. In 2002, Kim Dotcom was found guilty of the largest insider trading scandal in German history. Kim flooded some company’s stocks with a bunch of money, promising investors the company would turn around. Once the stocks surged from this news, the fat man sold everything, robbing everyone blind. Like a little 1% bitch, he fled to Thailand, where the feds promptly caught up to him. Dotcom was given a slap on the wrists and a small fine for an abusively rich man. Kim’s recent arrest required police to cut open the safe room in his gigantic mansion, where he was found playing Call of Duty and masturbating to the thought of how he was so rich the cops couldn’t even arrest him.

Copyright infringement has become somehow more menacing to twisted world authorities than insider trading. On one hand, a person who abuses their wealth to indirectly steal millions from investors is punishable by a 100,000 euro fine and 20 months in prison. On the other hand, copyright infringement will result in this same person’s entire fortune being forfeit and will put his ass in the American gulag for decades. Despite this glaring injustice, the opinion of the author remains steadfast. Kim Dotcom deserves this punishment, even if it is for all the wrong reasons.

Categories
Hate

Suspicious death of Anonymous target Deanna Despain raises questions about Barrett Brown

[pullquote]”The best way to proceed with a controversial plan is to implement it first and then slowly prepare others to accept it.” ~ Barrett Brown[/pullquote]City Clerk Deanna Despain was recently doxed by Anonymous and subsequently found dead under suspicious circumstances. Barrett Brown has refused to comment on this matter.

Barrett Brown is perhaps the most well-known heroin addict in the world, representing hackers from the Anonymous collective. Like others in the media, Brown has little or no idea what Anonymous actually is. To him, it’s just a springboard for his own personal agenda, which includes taking baths on TinyChat and purchasing his own Texas compound like his hero David Koresh.

Barrett Brown was named this year's most despicable person by the despicable people at Gawker.
After the recent Stratfor hack, Brown scrambled to defend the theft of credit card information, arguing that “the hacking team that obtained this information did not break down the doors of the target, point guns at children, and shoot down any dogs that might have been present.” If this group of hackers had the capability to do these things, and it served their agenda, it’d be bizarre to imagine they’d back down because of their upstanding moral character. Another document from an Anonymous representative denied the attack altogether, receiving more support from Anonymous than Brown’s statement.

[pullquote]”Sometimes I feel left out because I don’t really know much about computers and everyone I interact with talks crazy future gibberish.” ~ Barrett Brown, spokesperson for Anonymous[/pullquote]Barrett Brown has a history of making unverified statements to stay in the public eye. Brown tweeted, “Those in Asheville, NC should watch movements of District Attorney Ron Moore at this time,” implying that information about Moore’s criminal activity would soon surface. It did not. Brown also famously claimed that a member of Anonymous was abducted by the Zetas, but this was not true. Brown’s home address was then published by Anonymous, and he appealed to Occupy DC for funding so he could escape certain death at the hands of the Zetas to the safety of New York. After a few short weeks, Brown returned home, now entirely safe. Brown’s most laughable red herring to date has to be the “Barium issue,” which he has used only when the news cycle has become completely dry.

 

Categories
Hate

Are Occupy Wall Street, Antisec, and Anonymous losing relevance?

We haven’t tried much, and it has all failed. Overlapping values, trending #revolution on Twitter, video evidence of wrongdoing – could not rescue our society from the bonds of greed, nor could it free us from tyranny. Peacefully.

In fact, a year later, we are less free. Every privilege we assumed was a right, and every ounce of security we felt buckled under the pressure of a thousand guns turned on 100,000 protesters, peace taken by force, and won’t be returned. Peacefully.

Anonymous could barely turn out a swastiget in Habbo Hotel, forget a fucking legitimate protest. These kids are young, mad, and they just barely know why. Scientology? If you want to protest a dangerous, dehumanizing cult responsible for the embezzlement and conning billions out of innocent people, why don’t you protest “Billy Graham, Oral Roberts, and all the other evangelists who save.” Pick any branch of Christianity and you’ll find a more rampant, systematic con-job operation than Scientologists, in all their scientific wizardry, could invent. Peacefully.cat

Protesting at Wall Street proved, once and for all, that no amount of begging will dry up the greed overabsorbed into the sopping wet hearts of corporate American CEOs, bank presidents and politicians. Protesting the federal government without ten million dollars is like showing up to Wal-Mart without ten dollar bills. If you want something, be ready to spend. That’s Lesson Number One.

Lesson Number Two: In 1976, Buckley v. Valeo decided spending money on campaign contributions is free speech. Did a panel of judges, thoughtful men of experience and wisdom, really not stop to consider, “If spending money is free speech, then isn’t absence of money the absence of speech?” Alas, whether they did or did not dissent is yesterday’s question; now, more than ever, politicos are in the pockets of corporations, financial schemers and worst of all – bankers.

The conditional response to force, is sooner or later, going to be force. I am not condoning violence, but I see us going down that road – once the fragile computer geeks and straight women get out of the way, of course. Then, there’ll be true change. When men own men again, there’ll be revolt.

So what if Occupy Wall Street “opened the dialog” like it didn’t already exist in print. The Occupy movement was misrepresented in television, we all know it was, so stop watching television. They’re the ones you’re protesting, you stupid fucks!

#OWS was a “test run” for what, exactly? Future failures, or the police? Because I look at the police, and they got their exercise, alright. Every precinct near a medium-sized city got to play with a bunch of new toys and spray neat and interesting colors into people’s faces. People who just sat there. On a sidewalk. On phones. Shit, there were so many consumers at this anti-corporate protest, anybody old enough to remember the 70s is hard-pressed to see what is the matter with those rich kids on TV, getting maced and beaten.

#Antisec, trying really hard to attach to our anti-banking, anti-finance sentiments, is making up hacks and reaching for literally anything that makes them look rebellious, even the names of innocent, elderly citizens. No thanks, Sabu, I already have a phone book. Also, I should direct your attention to what I thought was an obvious fact: that you’re doing a valuable free service to the shit-eating 1% out there who couldn’t be hassled to pay experts to ensure the protection of their own customers data.

“Great vulnerability checking! I’ll write the check out to Anonymous.”

-CEO, Bank of Unfairica

The status quo is, in and of itself, cancer. Therefore Antisec is AIDS, Anonymous is cancer, and the Occupy movement will be a time on which we look back and say, “Damn, I should have stood up and hit that motherfucker back.”

[ Editor’s Note: Antisec was barely worth mentioning, and Old Brutus is an asshole for doing so. However their decline signals the disappearance of the last substantial online collective. The Antisec movement, having departed from LulzSec, is no longer funny, and in fact pointlessly contrary to their purported goals of creating instability by attacking networks. ]