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Editorial Special Interest новости

Chronicle.SU is WRONG

Adrian Chen hates satire
Adrian Chen attempts to block the view of Tlingit masks he said are "also wrong."

I’m Adrian Chen, and I know many things. I mean, there are a lot of things I know. I know stuff about politics, the Internet and hacktivism because I myself am a troll hacktivist. I try really hard to know as much as possible about what Anonymous tweets, and especially LulzSec, Sabu and reddit.com. But what I know most of all to be most factual and more true than any other fact on the Internet, is that the Chronicle.SU is wrong.

They are wrong about many things, especially the stuff I know more about than they do. I write for a website called Gawker, which is never wrong, and always right. In fact, since I can’t seem to find any satire websites with balls enough to tackle hacktivism on the internet, I am thinking about starting my own satire site, in which I replace the word “write” with “right” – because I am always right! (I’m a righter! Get it?)

One of the things Chronicle.SU is wrong about is Sabu of LulzSec and #AntiSec being a brown guy named Hugo. They are especially wrong about that because they wrongly Photoshopped an image of Hugo’s face as the leader of #ANTISEC, the group competing against Anonymous for most lulz. WRONG! He’s not the leader, fucking idiots! Sabu is! And Sabu isn’t Hugo! Jesus.

Adrian Trolls
Chen: "Chronicle.SU was also wrong when they said I was wrong about who invented Anonymous porn. I knew Chronicle.SU already invented Anon porn. I wasn't wrong. I was just trolling them behind their backs because that's how Adrian rolls."

You know, if the Chronicle.SU was a satire website, this would almost be forgivable, even though LulzSec is no laughing matter, but this is an egregious error on the part of Chronicle.SU Editors, right on up to the executives and I’m speaking out!

If I were the owner of that newspaper, and it wasn’t some socialist experiment of a defunct military state like the Soviet Union, I’d call a company-wide meeting to talk about fact-checking and making sure we never run anything wrong, ever again. Because like I said earlier, Gawker has never run a single wrong thing – not with MY name attached to it, they haven’t. The Chronicle.SU is the most inaccurate, least factual source of information I’ve ever read. And yet, I keep coming back for more! It’s sickening.

I have a message for you Chronicle.SU readers out there who fall consistently for their lies and disinformation. You ready for it? Here it is, BIG NEWS BABY HERE WE GO:

The Chronicle.SU is a propaganda tool of the disinformation arm of the United States Government.

During Psy-Operative campaigns by the CIA, the Chronicle.SU was imbedded in IRC chats distributing pro-wikileaks articles and information so biased toward truth we jokingly called it truth-propaganda around the Gawker office. And they released DDoS instructions, toolkits and PHP-based starter kits to help lies spread faster, no matter what they were; they even helped build the Louise Boat. Simply disgusting.

Get a clue. Avoid Chronicle.SU

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Editorial

Rupert Murdoch is responsible for the hacking of 9/11 victims

Remember all those shocking final goodbyes to to friends and family which were played by Fox News in the aftermath of 9/11? You might want to sit down.[pullquote]”The time has certainly come for Rupert Murdoch’s resignation.” -Sarah Palin[/pullquote] Fox hired hackers to acquire the audio, carelessly invading the privacy of American families and victims of terrorism. Rupert Murdoch personally approved of this tactic in a desperate bid to increase ratings. Back in 2001, Fox was not such a dominant force in the media. By hacking the phones of 9/11 victims, Fox News was able to gain a foothold.

Rupert Murdoch should resign now

Jesus would be ashamed of Rupert Murdoch. In fact, if Rupert Murdoch doesn’t repent soon, he will definitely go to hell. Phone hacking became like an addiction to Rupert Murdoch. He went after celebrity’s voicemail accounts, dead children’s cell phones, and pretty much hacked anything that moved.

The time has come for Rupert Murdoch to step down. Like Anthony Weiner, he has made a terrible mistake and no longer deserves his place of power. America deserves better. We are a Good Christian Nation, and Fox News has betrayed both our trust and the Freedom of Press.

 

 

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Hate

It'll never end! "Unless you stop it."

I am extremely high on opiates, and this is being written from a hospital bed. Beautiful women involved. I am a ray of pure light energy, eternal love, a message of hope for the deaf, a line of sight for those blinded by their own insecurities, propensity for greed destroyed – I am the One. Listen.

I was doing vince in the bay when some bitch came a knockin’ at my front door. some bitch named chest pains and shortness of breath.

I wanted to troll you all and say, “Folks, I’m dying…” but that’s only as funny as Hell actually existing and me asking to go there. Folks, I’m going to survive to see another many years of this headlong shitshoot we call life and I am just fine with that.

Today I laid with the most beautiful woman in the world – and she fed me grapes because I can’t raise my good grape-eating arm. I can’t even masturbate because one arm’s an IV-hub and the other is crippled by the pain of today’s surgery. The pain feels good, though, because opiates are the answer.

I love that woman. She is everything you could ever ask for in a very best friend, plus gorgeous long black wavy hair whose silhouette spider-webbed my indigo window picture and re-taught me the joys and appreciation of the limitless beauty of the human figure in her everyday power.

Well, lovers of the night, I was sidetracked by a beautiful young woman on the Internet just now. So my rhythm is fucked. Also I’m totally loaded on pills and I am becoming a sleepy vessel of nature, trawling down the stream of consciousness – looking for fireflies.

I’m pretty fucking tired of the egotistical free wrong-hood of the Internet, the failures of prominent leaders and the realization that some people only become well known because they’re famous at sucking. Like whores.

I’m the newest writer to come out in support of – fuck, I forgot. This note’s about to lose its structure fast.

I’m the leader of black operations of a peaceful and pleasant nature. A rebellion of the self, by the self – for the self. We are all children born into the human condition which most people agree gets worse every second, if you look at the corporate bottom-fucking of every man, woman and child with a gleam of hope in their eyes for something better, something good. Something pure. You can die, they’ll help.

Sell ya poisoned food regulated by the same FDA that turns around and stuffs you full of the medicines they approve to keep the population drugged dumb and full of fear. What will happen if I don’t take this drug? I can deal with the fact that American political leaders have manipulated the “debate” of whether or not national health care plan can ever be implemented – but America is one of the only countries in the world where you can watch the “news” and are told at least once per commercial break to “ask your doctor about [insert drug here, in your ass because we’re fucking you with it.]”

They’ll also help you die by feeding pointless, useless “news” media into your useless faces day by night.

They’ll also kill you by enforcing and regulation ignorance upon yourselves and your family. Political career suicide should not be an excuse not to do the right thing, to vote in the decent manner. NOR should 45-year-old hard-working pipe-fitting, gas-pumping, home-constructing Americans accept such an excuse. “Oh, he could lose his hundred thousand dollar per year job if he voted for workers to have a bump in their minimum wages. That would be career suicide. He could go from making $100,000 per year to making $80,000 and having less power to abuse. I understand why my quality of life doesn’t improve; and because I understand that, I’ve already accepted it because I have become conditioned to equate information or thoughts which appear to be of my own manifestation – but are in fact someone else’s implanted by the globalsocioeconomic warmachine – with unchangeable fact that can never be overturned. And I’d be a fool for thinking otherwise. That is not what my neighbors do. That is not the example by which my parents lead. That is the example set by two generations of reinforced patterning and distorted reward systems that perpetuate ever-lowering expectations of the self and at the same time devalue hard work.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I believe the only answer is to commit political career homicide, rather than hold out hope that one day someone white-haired fuckhead in thick glasses will suffer a stroke of humanity – or worse – goodwill toward men.

Am I inciting violence toward elected officials? No. But do I endorse it? Hell yes.

I encourage readers to write in and share your dissent, disillusionment and condemnation of your very own government(s) which have corrupted their figureheads, convoluted our collective unconscious and create self-propagating cynicism, narcissism and other social diseases stemming from total lack of empathy and represented by a national bloodlust and call to action against one high-profile babykiller and not an entire army of them.

Fuck the power. Discuss it here. Fight it now. Form the revolution.