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Entertainment Reviews

Controversial PS4 game ‘will raise a new generation of terrorists’

An all-new flight simulator game from award-winning studio Naughty Dog puts gamers  in the blood-stained cockpit of a freshly hijacked Boeing 747, and teaches them how to efficiently pilot the passenger plane into symbols of Western imperialism like the Twin Towers.

https://youtu.be/h3kA7DkOuJM

The game reportedly simulates the same terrorist act, again and again. According to testers, players will try for the highest death count by selecting their own date and time of attack, and strategically target the weakest points in the towers’ structures to maximize terror.

“Unbelievable,” raves The New York Times.

“Unthinkable … recklessly irresponsible.” — LA Times.

“You can literally keep doing 9/11.” — Internet Chronicle.

Developers at Naughty Dog have high hopes the game’s controversy could boost sales. An emailed early-access invitation advertises a few of the game’s key features: “Raise the alert level to ‘Threat level Orange’ to unlock the game-changing Inside Job power-up and impress your friends by permanently shifting world politics in … somebody’s favor!”

Another line from the email states players gain score multipliers by issuing high profile threats leading up to the attack: “You’re nobody’s fool! The decadent West who gave you so much money before has turned its back on you! Show them you mean Busine$$ by issuing pre-taped taunts and threats on VHS.”

Reaction to the negative press is only in its earliest infancy, as not even Tipper Gore is prepared to manufacture the amount of outrage it is going to take to demonstrate the undoubtedly negative reaction the game is expected to face from teachers, soccer moms, concerned citizens and the CIA.

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Entertainment Special Interest

Boring website ‘reddit’ braces for historic meltdown

INTERNET — Reddit is like church. It is a huge place everyone’s been to but nobody loves, which is why the Internet is in a giddy stir as reddit approaches this imposing critical mass situation. Redditors are in an uproar after the company fired one of the community’s favorite admins, Victoria, who modded the IAmA threads and made a lot of the bigger names appear at the top of the frontpage, like the president and stuff.

So to express how butthurt all of reddit feels, the moderators of major subreddits, including AskReddit, History, Art, Gaming, Science, Videos, and even the AdviceAnimals moderators have taken their subreddits private, which is supposed to send a message to reddit operators that the community liked Victoria, or something.

What you see now is only pre-game commentary for the big event, scheduled to happen sometime tonight or tomorrow, when they update the reddit blog. You want to see shit hit the fan, watch reddit for the next day or two.

Could Victoria’s firing end the world? Doubtful. But it could end reddit.

Scumbag Steve - reddit

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Entertainment

Justin Bieber wanted for assault in Argentina

Media Credit: justinbieberzone.com
Media Credit: justinbieberzone.com

BUENOS AIRES – JB’s at it again! Pop music’s most punchable face turned the tables on an Argentinian photographer when JB’s violent gang of thugs attacked an innocent paparazzo just doing his job.

Video footage put fans at ease, reassuring young women everywhere JB’s sensitive eyes were shielded from the incident by a thick black sheet.

Once convicted, Justin faces anywhere between one month and six years in a dirty, common South American prison.

Fans argue Justin is too rich and famous to answer to petty charges, and too important to face consequences. The commoner’s attorney, Matias Morla thinks otherwise.

“Now we just need to wait for the police to find him and bring him to Argentina,” Morla said. “For us, this is a triumph against all those who said this case was a bluff and that we didn’t have anything.”